Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Has The Authority To Tell You How It Is

, , , , , , | Right | June 6, 2009

(I am 17, working at an outlet for a hardware shop. I have an irate customer who wants a discount because — get this — the drills were too hard to find! He didn’t ask anyone where to find them. He gets a bit abusive after I tell him I can’t do that, and interrupts me before I can get in, “but I can call the manager to handle that.” However, the manager is actually walking past at the time and hears most of the one-sided conversation. He fronts up to this bloke, and says in one of those suppressed-anger sorts of voices the following awesome rebuttal:)

Manager: “Do you know how old this boy is? Do you know how much he earns?”

Customer: “No. Why should I care?” *a lot more calmly, because the manager is a big bloke*

Manager: “He’s 17. And he earns $6 an hour.”

Customer: “Wh—”

Manager: *louder* “Do you know how much authority he has to give you a discount? Not none at all. Not zero. Less than none; less than zero.”

Customer: “How c—”

Manager:Because, if he works hard, in a year or two he’ll get a promotion, and then he’ll have no f****** authority to give you a discount. Since he’s lower on the scale than that, he must have less than zero authority to do it now, get it?”

Customer: “Well, I—”

Manager: “HE’S SO FAR DOWN THE LINE OF AUTHORITY, HE HAS TO STAND ON A F****** LADDER TO TIE HIS SHOES!”

Customer: “Bu—”

Manager: “Furthermore, sir, he’s a minor, and the way you were talking to him is abuse of a minor, and you could be arrested for it.”

Customer: “Uh, I—”

Manager: “So, in future, if you want a discount, ask someone in authority. Ask me! Don’t abuse the staff; they can’t do anything. I’m the one who can! I’m the only one! Now, put the drills back or pay the full amount, because I’m not going to give you a discount, because you’re a s***head!”

Now That’s What I Call Customer Service

, , | Right | March 17, 2009

(A customer comes into the store about once or twice a month. She walks up to the new releases, and then proceeds into the center of the store where we don’t have many security cameras and stuffs the movies into her purse. We know she has been doing it for quite some time, but we legally aren’t allowed to stop her. However, we get a new manager.)

Me: “Just leave her alone. She’ll be gone soon.”

Manager: “Watch this.”

(The manager walks up to the woman as she finishes stuffing the movies into her purse.)

Manager: *smiling* “Good evening, ma’am, can I help you steal anything else today?”

(The customer went white and ran out of store. She never showed up again.)

Off To A Great Start

, , , , | Right | January 19, 2009

Customer: “Hi, can I talk to a manager?”

Me: “I’m the manager on duty. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “YOU’RE the manager on duty?! You look like you’re about sixteen! *laughs with disbelief and scorn*

Me: “Well, I’m twenty-four, and I am a manager here. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Can I have a job application?”

Me: “Um… sure.”

Chlorine Wishes And Door Knob Dreams

, , , , , | Right | December 30, 2008

Customer: “Hi, what kinds of doorknobs do you carry?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t have any doorknobs.”

Customer: “What?! WHY NOT?”

Me: “Um… because this is a pool supply store.”

Customer: “This is totally unacceptable! I came here to get a new set of doorknobs for my garage, and you’re telling me that you won’t sell me any?”

Me: “Yeah, pretty much.”

Customer: “You are so rude! I demand to know the name of the manager! I’m going to complain about this; I hope you liked your job!”

Me: “I do like my job, as a matter of fact. Here you go.”

(I hand her my business card, which states that I am the store manager.)

Me: “Just call this number and I’m sure you’ll be taken care of.”

(The customer grumbles and walks out. She gets into her car and proceeds to call the number on the business card I just handed her.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store], this is [My Name], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was just in one of your stores, and the employee was incredibly rude to me. He refused to sell me a set of doorknobs.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, ma’am, but as I just told you when you were in the store, we do not sell doorknobs.”

Customer: “I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER! NOW!”

Me: “You are, ma’am. I am the store manager.”

(The customer screams and hangs up, then speeds away in her car. In the process, she cuts off a police officer, who promptly pulls her over.)


This story is part of the Awesome Manager roundup!

Read the next Awesome Manager roundup story!

Read the Awesome Manager roundup!

My Life Coach Went To Film [Processing] School

, , , , | Right | December 23, 2008

(A customer was picking up reprints from her film negatives. I observed this exchange:)

Customer: “This is the wrong picture!”

Co-worker: “Which one was it supposed to be?”

Customer: “Number 18.”

Co-worker: *looks at negatives* “That is number 18 from these negatives. Did you drop off the wrong ones?”

Customer: “No! I just gave them to your staff and told him to print this one. *pointing to number 18 on an index print card*

Co-worker: “Okay… these are the negatives you dropped off?

Customer: *loudly* “Well, how was I supposed to know they were the wrong ones? I can’t tell you how to do your job! I’m not in the back watching what your staff does!”

(Upon hearing this, the manager comes over)

Manager: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yes! Your staff took the wrong negatives from me and printed the wrong photos! I can’t keep track of all my negatives… that’s your job!”

Manager: “So you’re saying that it’s our job to organize your negatives?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Manager: “No. We won’t come home with you and organize your negatives. It’s your responsibility to check that you’re dropping off the right negatives–”

Customer: *interrupting* “This is horrible customer service! I’m never coming back!”

Manager: *sarcastically* “Yes, it is our job to organize your life for you too.”


This story is part of the Unrealistic-Expectations roundup!

Read the next Unrealistic-Expectations roundup story!

Read the Unrealistic-Expectations roundup!


This story is part of the Awesome Manager roundup!

Read the next Awesome Manager roundup story!

Read the Awesome Manager roundup!