The Boss Has A Big Kingdom Heart

, , , , , | Working | January 31, 2019

(My boss and my boss’s boss are all awesome. I have been anticipating the release of “Kingdom Hearts 3” and decide I’m going to do something I have never done: take time off specifically to play a video game. I notice the allotted time for the department is negative seven hours one day and negative four hours for the next, but I put in the request, anyway, since there’s always a chance someone will cancel or I can get it approved. I send an email to my boss asking if she can take a look and approve the time off. The next day we’re talking and I bring up the time off request.)

Me: “Oh, by the way, if I can get that time off, awesome. If not, it’s not a problem. I’m literally just going to play a game I’ve been waiting on for years to release.”

Boss: *laughs* “Oh, yeah? What one?”

Me:Kingdom Hearts 3.”

Boss: *silently mouths it and looks like she’s thinking* “Huh… I think I’ve heard of that…” *teases me* “You going to stream it?”

Me: “Actually, yeah!”

Boss: “Okay, I’ll let my kids know to look out for you. But you better keep it family-friendly when you stream!”

Me: “I promise to keep it simple and clean.” *chuckles*

Boss: “Good! Waaaaait… I feel like that’s a reference somehow.”

Me: *laughing* “Yeah, it’s the name of the song from the first game.”

Boss: “I know what game that is now! My kids really like them! Okay, I’ll put in the approval.”

(Ten minutes later, I had approval for the time off! My boss’s boss approved the override with the message, “Have fun with it!” Great bosses are freaking awesome!)

A Very Understanding Boss With A Not Very Understanding Caller

, , , , | Working | January 31, 2019

(I take calls regarding credit card accounts. My shift end time has come and gone, but I am on the phone with a cardholder who cannot understand his very simple bill and is unwilling to be placed on hold to be transferred to a billing specialist. My supervisor is waiting for the call to end, as she can’t leave until all of her team has signed off the phones. She has taken a seat next to me and is listening, giving hints to try to get the customer off the phone. She signals for me to mute the call, and says:)

Supervisor: “Anyone can understand the bills; you just have to figure out a way to say it to get through to them. Let me take over the call; get your things together and get ready to go home.”

(My supervisor then puts on my headset and I run for the facilities, desperately having to use the restroom. I return a few minutes later to my supervisor still on the phone, shaking her head and mock beating it on the desk. She finally tells the caller to take his bill to his bank and have someone there review it with him, as there is nothing else that can be done over the phone, and she disconnects, obviously over the protests of the caller.)

Me: “So, he still didn’t understand?”

Supervisor: “There are exceptions to every rule, and he was a glaring one. If I ever hear you ever used the term ‘idiot’ to describe a caller, I’d probably write you up, but this was as close as I’ve ever come to doing so myself. I apologize. I was wrong; there are some people who just don’t understand!”

(My supervisor was tough, but that day she certainly earned my respect.)

Birthdays Come But Twice A Day

, , , , | Working | January 31, 2019

(I am a relatively new employee in a small office environment, working with people I love, but this situation is a bit awkward.)

Boss: *sticking his head into my office* “Hey, it’s [Coworker #1]’s birthday today. We’re going to cut his cake in a few minutes. Thought you might want to sign his card.”

Me: *wondering whether to raise a certain issue, then deciding to let it slide* “Sure, okay.”

Boss: “Also, we’re all chipping in [amount] to get him a gift card.”

Me: *changing my mind* “Um, nothing against [Coworker #1], but… today is also my birthday.”

(To his credit, my boss apologized for not realizing that, and quickly and quietly turned the office party into a celebration for the two of us. I felt bad; I would’ve been okay with no fuss whatsoever, but kind of figured the common date would become known sooner or later.)

Not A Defective Loophole

, , , , , , | Working | January 28, 2019

(In the 1970s, my dad gets a new piece of stereo equipment. It costs him a good chunk of his “starving student” budget — in all honesty, a larger chunk than is wise — so he’s very careful in bringing it home and setting it up. Despite the TLC, however, the equipment doesn’t work. Just flat-out knackered. Pining for the fjords. A very expensive paperweight. So, he puts it back in its box and takes it and his receipt back to the store.)

Dad: “Hi. I’d like to return some defective equipment.”

Clerk: “Do you have the receipt?”

Dad: “Yup.”

Clerk: “Sure, we can do that. Just give it here and… Wait. Sorry, the box has been opened. We can’t accept a return, only exchange it.”

Dad: “What? How was I supposed to know it was defective without taking it out?”

(Apart from the issue of money in his youth, which he freely admits these days he was daft with, my dad is a logical, intelligent person. The idea that he should psychically determine whether an item is defective before opening the box offends his scientific sensibilities. As to why he requests a return instead of an exchange in the first place, I suspect the penny dropped on the drive back that he needs the money more. But in any event, this happens:)

Clerk: “Sorry, sir. That’s the rule; I can’t change it.”

Dad: “Okay, can I talk to someone higher up?”

Clerk: “Sure.”

(The clerk gets the manager, who asks my dad what the problem is. My dad explains. The manager reiterates that, indeed, they can only exchange opened boxes, not accept returns on them.)

Dad: “Okay, I’ll exchange it, then.”

(The stereo equipment is exchanged for an unopened but otherwise identical item.)

Dad: “And now I’d like to return this one.”

(Up until now, I think everyone has behaved fairly reasonably, but at that, you’d think my dad had chucked a dead cat in the manager’s face.)

Manager: “YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

Dad: “Why not? It’s unopened. You said I can return unopened items.”

Manager: “You can’t do that! It’s fraud! I’M CALLING THE POLICE!”

(And, no kidding, the manager calls 911 because a customer found a loophole.)

Cop: *when he shows up* “What’s going on?!”

(The manager relates the whole story honestly, just in a ranty way; he seems to genuinely believe that what my dad wants to do is fraud. My dad and the clerk both calmly agree on the facts of the situation.)

Cop: *laughs, addresses the manager* “He’s got you there. Give him his money back. I’m not leaving ’til you do.”

(The manager fumed, but my dad got his money back and left. The cop left, still chortling. Alas, history does not record if the poor clerk found a non-insane boss to work for.)

That Free Meal Cost Dearly

, , , , , , | Working | January 25, 2019

(My wife and I are in a restaurant having a night out. The restaurant is crowded and clearly understaffed; only one waitress is running to serve everyone. Although it’s clear that she’s exhausted, she keeps smiling and being nice to the customers. I don’t know what happened but suddenly I hear her speaking to a customer in a really angry tone.)

Waitress: “Are you serious?”

(She then she shouts to the entire restaurant:)

Waitress: “Attention, people! This man here just had a 150-Euro meal. He even licked the plate clean as dogs do, and now he’s telling me that his meal wasn’t properly cooked and he won’t pay.”

(Her boss comes out of the kitchen. A heated discussion between the boss, the waitress, and the customer starts. It is soon clear to everyone that the boss is going to let the customer go without him paying for his meal. The waitress is furious, but the boss ignores her. As the customer is ready to leave, the waitress raises her voice once again:)

Waitress: “Dear customers, since my boss decided to let a jerk walk out without paying for the food, I have decided that I’m quitting right now. I suggest you all leave without paying because you all have been patient and lovely. If jerks can get free meals here, I am sure that [Boss] can’t object to nice people getting free meals.”

(With that, she opened the door and motioned for people to leave. Everyone left without paying, but the waitress got some generous tips on the way out!)

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