When Two Wrongs Did Make A Right

, , , , , | Working | March 12, 2018

(My boss and I are the culprits here. We have a client who is generally very nice, but she is neurotic, paranoid, and obsessive about her tax returns. I am tasked with holding her hand through the process. I email my boss:)

My Email: “[Client] is going crazy, trying to itemize every tiny little expense. Can you please let her know that all that junk makes zero difference to her refund, so she can just calm down?!”

(My boss sends a very polite email and CCs me. I read it, but then…)

Me: “Um… [Boss], you didn’t write a new message to her; you hit forward.”

Boss: “What?”

Me: “When you replied to her, you also forwarded her my email to you!”

(We stare at each other in horror, imagining how she will react to my casual language. Stunned, I look back at the screen.)

Me: “Wait. What is her email address?”

Boss: “It’s [address], but don’t send her anything else.”

Me: “No, it’s okay. You typed it wrong.”

Boss: “What?”

Me: “You typed her address wrong. It didn’t go anywhere.”

Boss: *after deleting my message and re-sending* “Thank God I screwed up twice, and not just once!”

It’s Credit-Crunch Time

, , , | Working | March 12, 2018

(I have recently started a new job, when the news of a credit crunch breaks in the media. A lot of companies are going into panic mode. I am just heading to lunch when my manager calls me to come and see him in his office before I go. I think to myself that this can’t be good. My concern must show on my face.)

Manager: “Oh, don’t worry; it’s all good. Just come in and take a seat for a moment. Now, I’m sure you’ve heard about the financial problems going on at the moment. Unfortunately, we can no longer afford you and have to let you go. Don’t worry about coming back after lunch. We’ll send you two weeks severance pay.”

Me: “Can I ask one question?”

Manager: “Of course.”

Me: “Whatever happened to, ‘It’s all good’?”

How To Avoid Your Manager

, , , , , | Working | March 12, 2018

(I am working next to my coworker in the mens’ department, restocking. Her phone begins to vibrate, so she ducks into the restroom to see who it is.)

Manager: “Hi, [Coworker], this is [Manager] calling. Did you know you were scheduled to be in at 10:00 am today? It’s 10:45.”

Coworker: “Um… I’m here. I’m in mens’.”

Manager: “Oh, wow. I didn’t see you come in!”

Their Knowledge Has Skilled Them In The Right Attitude

, , , | Working | March 12, 2018

(I am currently transitioning out of my training class at the call center where I work, along with a handful of other people. This afternoon, my team lead is going over some information with us. Afterwards, we get this gem:)

Team Leader: “So, now that we’ve talked about it, what do you think is most important: knowledge, skill, or attitude?”

Us: “All of them.”

Team Leader: “Wrong! It’s all of them!”

Us: “…”

Team Leader: “I trained you too well.”

If It Ain’t Broke, Go To Lunch

, , , , | Working | March 9, 2018

(I work at a casino, and currently I’m working at the cashier cage. Each cage has only one of my position at any time, so break times aren’t usually important, since nobody ever needs to cover me. Because of this, I usually take my lunch pretty late in my shift. One day I get called into the office by my manager, who tells me that I need to take my lunch exactly four hours into my shift, since my late lunches are disrupting everyone else. I agree and go back to work. However, the very next day, I call to go to my lunch right on time, getting the same manager.)

Me: “Hey, I’m going to take my lunch.”

Manager: “Oh, can you wait 20 minutes? We’re busy over here, and can’t send someone else over there.”

Me: “What? Nobody needs to cover me, and you just yelled at me for taking my lunch late.”

Manager: “Well, I still need you to wait. Call back in 20 minutes!” *hangs up*

(I wound up waiting almost two hours to take my lunch, which was the time I was taking them before. After that, I just kept taking my lunches at the same time, and my manager never said another word.)

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