A Crappy Assumption

, , , , , | Working | December 19, 2017

(I always have the habit of knocking on the toilet door at work before I open the door. We always keep the door closed. This particular day I knock and get no answer, so I try the door handle only to find it locked. I just figure someone is in there, so I go back to work. A little while later my manager comes in.)

Manager: “Was that you trying to get into the toilet when I was in there?”

Me: *thinking she was letting me know it was now free to use* “Yeah, it was me.”

Manager: “What the h***? Why would you try to get in when I was in there?”

Me: “I didn’t know you were in there. I knocked on the door and got no answer”

Manager: “Oh, I wondered why someone was knocking on the door, but really you should have known I was in there because the door was closed.”

When Larry Met Nobody

, , , , | Working | December 18, 2017

(My boss is an inept person who lacks most skills it takes to run a business. This takes place via text:)

Me: “[Name] called and asked that you call him as soon as possible. He did not leave a phone number.”

Boss: “What’s his phone number?”

Keeping A Low Police-Profile

, , , , | Working | December 18, 2017

(My manager is an ex-cop, and lets me call the police if I have any problems. I work the overnight shift in a bad part of town. One day, a stranger comes in, acting aggressively, and demands that I open my till and give him money. I’m reasonably frightened because though I tell him to leave, he doesn’t listen. So I call the police to escort him out. Afterwards…)

Manager: “Was this guy really that scary?”

Me: “He kept demanding that I give him money. I thought he was a robber!”

Manager: *looks sceptical*

Me: “It was two in the morning!”

Manager: “Yes, but now all my cop friends are laughing at me!”

(Figuring out that the manager cared more about what his friends thought than of my own safety, I quit a few months later.)

In The Mood To Sue Again

, , , , , | Working | December 15, 2017

(I am doing my morning duties when I notice a woman I don’t recognise wandering into the staff-only area. I quickly follow her and find her in the bakery part of our back rooms.)

Me: “Excuse me. I’m sorry, but you can’t be back here.”

Ex-Employee: “Oh, it’s fine, dear; I used to work here. I must say, this bakery looks disgusting. It was never like this when I worked here!”

(Admittedly the bakery is a little messy after the morning batches are done, but by no means “disgusting.”)

Me: “It’s just a few crumbs, and we’re not finished with the ovens yet, but you really can’t be back here.”

Ex-Employee: “Nonsense. [Manager who retired six years ago] won’t mind. Here.” *hands me her CV* “I really think you’ll need me. This place has gone to hell without me, hasn’t it?”

(She heads back out to the shop floor, waving at another supervisor, and leaves.)

Me: “[Supervisor], do you know her?”

Supervisor: “I guess. She used to work the bakery and stock, years ago. What did she want?”

Me: “A job.” *I hold up her CV*

Supervisor: *laughs* “Christ, well, she’s got some balls.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Supervisor: “Well, she stacked some cases of drink way too high and it ended up falling on her. She sued the owner. They paid her a huge sum, and gave her paid leave, as well, but then she didn’t want to come back when her leave was up, which was just fine with the owner. I guess that money is running out, if she’s wanting to come back.”

Me: “Does she honestly think [New Manager] will hire her, knowing all that?”

Supervisor: “Wouldn’t surprise me. He might not even know who she is, actually, being fairly new himself, but I’ll let him know just in case.”

Me: “We’ve apparently gone to hell without her, too.”

Supervisor: “Oh, God, she used to come in covered in dog hair! Always got into the morning rolls; it was so gross. We’d have to remove them all and make fresh ones. She wasted so much bread! “

(I did pass the woman’s CV along to the manager, but we weren’t even looking for staff, and after hearing the supervisor’s story, the manager said he wouldn’t have hired her, anyway. She returned a few more times asking about our staff needs, each time dodging us and walking right into the staff-only area to hunt down the manager.)

Mentally Unfit To Be A Manager

, , , | Working | December 15, 2017

(I have been in my new job for about a month. Everything has been great, but one morning my boss pulls me aside after a meeting.)

Boss: “I’m shocked at how inconsiderate you are of [Coworker]’s mental illness. It’s very important that you accept it.”

Me: “I… I didn’t know she had a mental illness.”

Boss: “You should have!”

Me: “But, neither she nor anyone else has told me. How was I supposed to know?”

Boss: “Isn’t it obvious!”

(He turns around and looks at Coworker. She notices and waves back. He waves, too, and mumbles “riddled with it.” He then demands I go over and apologise. I do, and she looks at me confused.)

Coworker: “What are you going on about?”

Me: “[Boss] said I wasn’t very considerate towards your mental illness?”

Coworker: “I don’t have a mental illness!”

Other Coworker: “Maybe he means the other thing?”

Coworker: “Oh, probably. He is quite stupid.” *to me* “I was diagnosed with HIV five years ago. I don’t usually spread it around, but I guess [Boss] outed me!”

(She seemed it high-spirits, even laughing at Boss’s blunder. I wish I had that kind of understanding, as I probably would have quit.)

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