Maybe If It Was A Jigglypuff  

, , , , , | Working | September 5, 2019

(This story happens to two friends of mine around ten years ago. One of them is a cashier at a video game store; the other has arrived at that same store to pre-order a copy of Pokémon Platinum. The cashier friend’s supervisor is there alongside them. The pick-up goes smoothly, until…)

Friend #1: “As you are pre-ordering a copy, you get a figure as a gift!”

Friend #2: “Really?”

Supervisor: “And it’s made of gelatin!”

(Both friends are confused after those words.)

Both Friends: “Of gelatin?”

(The supervisor looks for a pamphlet supporting what she said.)

Supervisor: “Yes! It says so right here. Look!”

(They look at the pamphlet that says that, with a pre-order, you get a Giratina figure.)

Friend #1: “[Supervisor], Giratina is the Pokémon’s name.”

Supervisor: “Huh?”

Friend #1: “[Supervisor], Giratina. It’s not made of gelatin.”

Supervisor: “You don’t say! I was telling everyone that we were giving away gelatin figures!”

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Wise To Take Time Off

, , , , | Working | September 3, 2019

(After getting out of college, I get a job as a part-time gallery attendant at a museum featuring an artist known for his Silver Clouds. Basically, I watch you while you look at the artwork. We also sit at the front desk and take admission. I’m at the desk, speaking with the director of my department. We have a working relationship, but otherwise, we don’t like each other. She speaks to us as if we’re children who can’t do our jobs. It’s mid-March now; I’ve been dealing with wisdom tooth pain since October and finally, after a plethora of insurance issues, I have a date for surgery set.)

Me: “Hey, [Boss], I finally have a date set to get my wisdom teeth out. It’s March 26th.”

(It just so happens that the museum is doing three days’ worth of free admission March 26, 27, and 28. I’m scheduled to be on the desk taking admission on the 27th.)

Boss: “Oh, that’s good. Thanks for giving me notice beforehand.”

Me: “Sure. Now, I’m under strict orders to be on bed rest for at least five days after the surgery. Do I need to ask the surgeon to send in a doctor’s note?”

Boss: “For one day? Of course not.”

Me: “So, you want me to come in the day after having all four bone-impacted wisdom teeth removed, two of which are in my sinus cavity, and two of which are so close to my bottom nerve the surgeon is so concerned about swelling and numbness that he wants me on bed rest? You want me to come in and take admissions when I’ll barely be able to talk?”

Boss: “Oh, right. You’ll be out for more than one day. I guess that’s fine. Just make sure you send in the note.”

(The doctor’s office sent in the note, and the surgery went just fine. It took a little over an hour, and I swelled like a chipmunk. I couldn’t move my jaw or talk for three days after the surgery, so I guess it was a good thing I didn’t go into work!)


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Phone Calls For Lunch!

, , , , , | Working | August 29, 2019

(I’m a draftsman at our engineering office that also does secretary work, as the company is very small with less than five employees in the office. Due to this, we do many different other jobs. I am on lunch break. We all get an hour, but I typically only take a half-hour lunch break so I can leave early. This has been agreed upon by the company’s former president, the current president, and vice president. I typically eat lunch at my desk since I can browse the Internet during lunch. If the phone rings or a client walks into the office, the Vice President — who also does secretary work — will be the first to help them. However, today is a bit different. I sit down at my desk and start to eat my lunch. As I do, the phone rings. I look over to the Vice President and she is on the phone. So, I put down my lunch and answer the phone. I am on the phone for roughly twenty minutes. During this time, the Vice President goes downstairs. After that phone call, two more clients walk into the office. So, at this point, I’ve only taken three bites of my lunch. I talk to our new clients for about ten minutes before I bring out the President to talk with them, as they are his clients. I am finally able to eat lunch. The clients leave and the President walks back to his room. About five minutes after the clients leave, the Vice President comes back upstairs and sees me finishing up my lunch.)

Vice President: “You took an hour lunch today.”

(I think she is joking, but this time she is serious.)

Me: “I was talking to some clients on the phone, and then some of [President]’s clients walked in while you were on the phone and downstairs. I only had five minutes of my lunch break in a half-hour window as I had to help you answer the phone and the clients in the office.”

Vice President: “Well, when you open your lunch up, it starts your timer.”

(This is very unfair, as she has done the same thing and everyone else does the same thing. During this discussion, the President walks out for unrelated business and overhears.)

President: “[Vice President], just give him his half-hour lunch and be done with it.”

(I have started eating out of the office after this. If I eat in the office, I take my laptop to another room with no phone.)

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Not A Lollipop Flop

, , , , , , | Working | August 27, 2019

I work as a delivery driver with one of my roommates, and one day we are feeling particularly unwell. Both of us are hit bad with allergies and pain, and I am feeling especially grumpy because of a mix of losing my voice and working next to the oven. During a slow period after rush, I approach her while our manager is nearby.

I make a simple request for her to “end my suffering,” while her response is, “end mine first.” This is typical banter between us when we’re grumpy or sick. What I don’t notice is our manager wandering off, soon returning with a pair of lollipops that we normally give to kids who’re waiting with their parents.

He hands one to each of us, proudly declaring, “There you go! It’s taken care of!”

The best part is that he was right; after eating the lollipops, we both were in considerably better moods. Guess you really can’t deny your inner kid!

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You Don’t Need Training To Prevent Fraud

, , , , , | Working | August 27, 2019

(I have been working at a smoothie place for a few months. Despite putting in that I would like to work 12 to 16 hours a week, I am lucky to work four, but I still can’t schedule social events because I’m scheduled for my full hours and get cancelled on the day of, even an hour before my shift. This has resulted in me only being trained in the register, and I am nigh completely inept at making smoothies. I do my best with what little training I have. My general manager doesn’t see a problem with this, and I have a number of issues with her. A customer comes in. I recognize her but don’t know her name, which we ask for, for the smoothies. She places her order and we have no problems doing so. She hands me a card to pay.)

Me: “All right, may I see some form of ID?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah. I left it in the car; I’ll be right back.”

Me: “Sounds good. Your smoothie should be done by the time you get back.”

(This is pretty typical procedure for me. I put the order through and run the card when they get back. This lets the customer be in and out, no hassle. The general manager comes out of the back after hearing the exchange and pipes up when the customer leaves.)

General Manager: “Hey! Don’t harass regulars like that, okay?”

Me: “O… kay?”

(The customer came back and got her smoothie, no problems. The two of us were both all smiles. All right, GM, sorry for harassing this customer because I’m trying to follow the law, and sorry for not recognizing her as a regular because I don’t work nearly as much as you said I would.)

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