Their Common Sense Is Disabled

, , , , | Working | August 8, 2017

(This has happened at least once with each of my managers and a couple coworkers when my mother has come to pick me up from work.)

Manager: *sees my mum parked in the disability car spot* “Why is your mum parked in the disability spot? She can’t park there!”

Me: “Um, yes, she can.”

Manager: “She can only park there if she has a disability!”

Me: “Yeah, pretty sure the disability sticker in her windscreen and the fact she can’t walk unassisted means she can park there.”

(Which is often followed by them suddenly very busy tidying or intently inspecting something nearby.)

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Will Never Speak Of It Again

, , , , | Working | August 3, 2017

(During puberty I had terrible issues with my throat, which some doctors attribute to issues I had as a child that led to my tonsils needing removed. I had infections pretty much every other week, but most weren’t too bad and could easily be remedied with few painkillers. There was only one time where I had completely lost my voice over the course of the day, and needed my mum to phone in sick at work for me.)

Mum: “Hi, this is [My Name]’s mother. I’m just calling to let you know that he can’t come in today as he has a sore throat and lost his voice. We’re going to the doctor later this afternoon.”

Manager: “We really need [My Name] to phone in and tell us.”

Mum: “But he’s lost his voice. How is he meant to tell you?”

Manager: “We can’t accept a sick notice unless he notifies us personally.”

Mum: “HE CAN’T SPEAK, as in there is literally nothing coming out of this mouth! [My Name], you try…”

(I grab the phone, but only a hoarse rasp escapes…)

Manager: “[My Name], if you can’t confirm that you’re sick—”

Mum: “Is she f****** stupid?” *shouts* “HE CAN’T F****** SPEAK!”

Manager: “We’ll see about it when you’re next in…”

(Before my next shift I had a disciplinary hearing. The manager whom my mum spoke to went on a tirade about how it was the worst faking of illness she’d ever heard. I showed her my doctor’s note which said I was suffering from bronchitis, laryngitis, and oral thrush. That shut the b**** up faster than my diseased throat ever could!)

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The Fingers Aren’t The Only Things That Snapped

, , , , | Working | July 2, 2017

(Recently I gave the worst customer service I’ve ever given. Deliberately. I’m the Dairy Manager in a grocery store. I did work in dry grocery for around three years, and normally if a customer asks me a question about another department, I try to help them, or find someone that can. After stocking yogurt and sour cream, I’m heading into the back room with my empty cart when I hear a whistle. Not thinking anything of it, I keep walking. I hear the whistle again, followed by “HEY!” I turn around, and a customer is whistling at me like I’m a DOG and snapping his fingers at me.)

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “What’s the price on these hams?”

Me: “I have no idea. I’m the Dairy Manager.”

(Turned on my heel, went into the back room, ran into my boss, and told him what I’d done. He laughed. Cool boss.)

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Say Bi To Your Management Position

, , , , | Working | June 29, 2017

(I have been called to the office of a recently appointed manager. She has been with the department for about a month.)

Manager: “This is a disciplinary for the downright unacceptable behaviour witnessed on your last shift.”

Me: “What unacceptable behaviour?”

Manager: “Regarding [Coworker].”

Me: “Well, he hasn’t told me!”

Manager: “I can understand why. Homophobia will not be tolerated in this organisation. Openly humiliating him in front of everyone for his sexual preference. I expected more from you.”

Me: “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’d rather talk to [Coworker].”

Manager: “I have made arrangements that you and he will no longer be working together.”

Me: “Whatever. I’ll speak to him after work.”

Manager: “Then I will make arrangements for his husband to pick him up directly. I know him personally.”

Me: “You mean my husband’s husband?”

Manager: “Yes, your husband’s… husband?”

Me: “Yes, [Coworker] is my husband.”

Manager: “But, he’s bisexual!”

Me: “True.”

Manager: “But, you’re a woman!”

Me: “Equally true.”

Manager: “But he’s gay!”

Me: “I thought we just agreed he was bisexual.”

Manager: “But, bisexuals aren’t real. They’re just pretending to be more normal.”

Me: *standing up and heading for the door* “Well, I can assure you they are real, and my husband is one!”

(I called HR about the whole thing and the manager actually confirmed it. She was sent on equal opportunity training but it hasn’t done a single bit of difference. In fact, it seems to have inspired her to out my husband as gay. Every time she’s caught meddling she’s either sent for more training or put on probation. I don’t think she is going to last much longer.)

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A Write Up To Bring You Down

, , , , , , | Working | June 29, 2017

(The bakery department in my store closed earlier than usual today. Since I work in the next department over, a customer asks if I know of anyone who can answer a question for her. I know very well that I don’t know the first thing about that department, so I tell her to wait by bakery as I get on the phone and call for the manager.)

Manager: “Well, have you tried helping the customer? How about trying that?”

Me: “Well, I’d be glad to, but the issue is I don’t know anything about bakery, so I’d rather ask for someone who knows the area first.”

(The manager hangs up, so I realize that I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and hope I can produce the answer somehow.)

Me: “All right, looks like I’m the one helping you today! I just ask that you bear with me, because I don’t really know this department very well, but I’ll certainly do my best! How can I help you?”

Customer: “This cake on display here, without a price tag, how much is it?”

(Sure enough, I haven’t the foggiest clue. However, after a moment of thinking, I head into the back room and start flipping through all the books stored back there. Finally, after a fairly large amount of time for so simple a question, I find the order guide and then the page with the picture of the exact cake the customer wants. I walk back out and tell the customer the price. The customer walks away thanking me for my help. The following day, the manager calls me over.)

Manager: “I’m writing you up for yesterday.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Manager: “I shouldn’t have had to tell you to help that customer.”

Me: “Okay, hold on. I had no problem attempting to help that customer, or any customer; I just figured it would be wiser to ask someone who knows the area to help the customer. What I was trying to avoid was me either being completely unable to help her or taking a much longer time to answer her question that it should take, which is what happened. Either one risks leaving an odd impression of our customer service on the customer, so to me, it was just better to try and direct her to someone more knowledgeable. Once I knew that no such person was available, I had no issue trying to help her. I thought quickly and ended up finding the answer she needed, so overall, I think I handled that situation as best as possible without any prior training in that area.”

Manager: “But I shouldn’t have had to tell you to help the customer!”

Me: “If you want me to always first try to help the customer before asking for assistance, that’s fine. However, this is a training issue, not a disciplinary issue. Four write ups in this store and you’re terminated. Do you really think that the act of being uncertain in an area I’ve never worked or trained for is so terrible that it should go on a list of reasons I should be fired?”

Manager: “It doesn’t matter. I’m tired of my side of the store getting the lowest customer service scores, so I’m not playing around anymore! If anyone’s customer service is not TOP notch, you get a write up! That’s it!”

Me: “And I don’t hold that viewpoint against you. What I’m saying is that there’s a difference between being incompetent and not having the training. If the employee never had the opportunity to first gain the knowledge, how can you then punish them for not having it?”

Manager: “Look, if you want to challenge this, take it up with the store manager.”

(I did just that. The store manager said that while I didn’t actually do anything wrong, the write up would still stay on my record.)

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