Well That’s Just Gravy

, , , , , | Working | June 26, 2017

(I work at a well-known fast food joint which specializes in fried chicken. We sell potato and gravy as a side to go with our popular bucket meals. On this particular day I arrive half-an-hour early for my shift, so I go and sit down and wait until it’s time to clock in. While I’m waiting I notice a customer, leaving the store with his young daughter, drop a tub of potato and gravy on the ground. The girl’s father panics and immediately goes and summons my manager.)

Customer: “I’m so sorry! My daughter has spilt potato and gravy everywhere.”

Manager: *cheerful and smiling* “That’s okay; don’t worry about it. It’s not a problem, really.”

Customer: “Thank you so much. Once again, I’m really sorry.”

(The customer then proceeds to exit the store with his young daughter. I then notice my manager making his way back to the office without even bothering to clean up the mess left behind by the customer’s daughter. As soon as I clock in, I go to clean up the mess, which has since been walked on by multiple customers over the half-an-hour period it had been left sitting there, getting smeared everywhere.)

Me: *sighs*

Walked In There Like A Boss

, , | Working | June 24, 2017

(My boss, colleague, and I are at a client’s office for a meeting. While waiting at the reception for the customer to escort us in, another man comes up to say hi. Note: My boss has a terrible memory for names and faces.)

Man: “Hi, [Boss]! Here for meeting, eh?”

Boss: “Hi. Hey, you look familiar. Do I know from somewhere?”

Man: *laughs* “Yes.”

(The man walks away, still laughing.)

Colleague: “Uh, [Boss], that guy is the Head of Department. [Client]’s boss.”

Boss: “Oh, is it? Oops.”

(A few minutes later, our client arrives. We are led to a meeting room. A couple of attendees from the client’s company are also there. One of them is Man.)

Man: *to my boss* “Now do you recognise me?”

(My boss never fails to entertain me with his embarrassing gaffes.)

Has Something To Tell You Alright!

, , , , , , | Working | June 23, 2017

(Back in the day, my boss calls me up at seven am on my day off to tell me that the drawer was short $80 from the night before when I closed, ruining my one day that week to sleep in.)

Boss: “So, the drawer is short $80. Is there anything you want to tell me?”

Me: “I don’t know; is it stuck in the safe drop? The flap is loose in the drop slide.”

Boss: “No, I checked.”

Me: “Are there any discrepancies in the cash out? It looked balanced to me. Did I mess up?”

Boss: “Not that I could see. The drawer is balanced and the printout looks solid, so the only thing that’s off is the deposit safe.”

Me: “Then I have no idea. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Boss: “Ok, but just call me if there’s anything you want to tell me.”

(Twenty minutes later he calls again:)

Boss: “You know, I still can’t find that $80.”

Me: “Well, crap.”

Boss: “And I looked at the security footage, and I didn’t see anything suspicious, but it was only you and the trainee working last night, and you were the only person handling the cash register.”

Me: “Darn. Are you sure it’s not stuck in the loose panel in the safe drop?”

Boss: “No, it’s not.”

Me: “Okay, then. I don’t know what to tell you.”

Boss: “Well, listen, I know you’re tight on money lately, and I just think it’s funny that there’s $80 missing from the safe on a night you were working. I respect you, so if you took the money and you bring it back right now I won’t get mad, and I won’t fire you.”

Me: “Well, [Boss], I respect you, too, so I’m going to put it this way. I have on numerous occasions caught my coworkers stealing from you and immediately reported it to you and you handled the situation. Since I’ve started working for you you’ve repeatedly said that I’ve saved you money because of changes that I’ve made in ensuring certain policies are adhered to, and since you’ve hired me you’ve passed every corporate and health inspection with a margin of five percent. You know very well that I have integrity and that I have always acted in the best interest of your business.”

Boss: “Well–”

Me: “And when you hired me you trusted me to be your number two to watch out for all of your franchises, train all of your employees, and take care of all of your stores, and you gave me a lot of freedom and a lot of responsibility, and you trusted me. A lot. You gave me the master keys to all four of your stores, I have the alarm codes to all four stores, I have the safe codes to all four stores, I have the computer password and access to all of your files in the office that track your accounting, and I know the password to tell the alarm company that tells them not to send the police in case I accidentally set off the alarm anyway.  All this means that at any given day I could walk into all four of your restaurants and steal every penny you have in all four safes AND THEN I could go into the office, blip the security footage, and fudge the accounting so you wouldn’t know it was missing for weeks until you ran your quarterly paperwork — which would have given me plenty of time to skip out on you and cover my tracks even more. If I were going to rob you I would take a hell of a lot more than $80. It’s simply just easier to work a full week every week at minimum wage and get a paycheck every Friday. Robbing you would be too much of a hassle, no matter how easy you’ve made it for me. You keep telling me and everyone else that I’m so smart, so think about it. Am I dumb enough to get myself fired over a measly $80? Please stick your hand INTO the safe and feel UPWARD into the drop slide to see if the envelope is stuck in the loose panel.”

Boss: “…oh. Okay, I’ll look again.”

(A half hour later he calls me back.)

Boss: “Hey, so, I found the missing $80. The corner of the envelope got stuck in the loose panel of the drop safe and it was hanging out of the flap instead of falling into the safe.”

Me: *facepalm* “That’s great, [Boss]. See you tomorrow.”

(I still had that job for another two years after that — and no, he didn’t take any further precautions against theft, even after I told him all of the ways I could potentially screw him over. I guess that at the end of the day he really did trust me.)

Tryout And Tryout Again

, , , , | Right | June 23, 2017

Me: “Hi, thanks for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, when are tennis tryouts?”

Me: “I’m sorry; what was that?”

Customer: “Tennis tryouts. When are they?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know anything about tennis tryouts.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, I’m sure.”

Customer: “This is the number to call about tryouts, right? It was on the flyer.”

Me: “No, sorry, this is a restaurant.”

Customer: “I see.” *hangs up*

Manager: “Wow, why won’t you let anyone tryout for the tennis team?”

Me: “I only want the best.”

The Write-Up Is Complimentary

, , , , | Working | June 23, 2017

(Two young girls approach me and ask to use our store phone to call their parents since their phone died. I let them dial but since they are calling long distance it doesn’t work. The only way to contact their parents is on their dead cell phones so I give the girls my phone charger and let them charge it behind the counter. They go on a few rides and come back, thanking me profoundly. A few days later my team lead approaches me.)

Team Lead: “Two girls left you a good reviews on Tuesday.”

Me: “Oh, really? Wow, I’ve never gotten that before.”

Team Lead: “Yes, but they say you let them charge their phone behind the counter?”

Me: “Oh, yes.” *explains situation*

Team Lead: “Okay, I see, but we’re still not allowed to do that. I’m going to have to write you up!”

Me: “But what about their compliments? No harm was done and I made their day!”

Team Lead: “It’s the rules, sorry.”

(So I was written up BUT I was also awarded by my supervisor two free tickets as a reward for the compliments. Way to confuse your workers.)

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