Wish You Could Throw The Book At Him

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

Customer: “Do you have [Title]?”

Me: “No, we don’t; I’m sorry. It doesn’t look like we can order it in either.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yeah. Usually in these cases it’s something to do with copyright or publishing laws, and you can’t buy it anywhere in Australia. You may be able to order it online from overseas, but I think you’ll probably have trouble buying it in store.”

Customer: “So would the bookshop upstairs have it?”

Me: “Probably not, but you can give them a go.”

(The guy leaves and comes back about 15 minutes later.)

Me: “Hi again, how did you go?”

Customer: “They didn’t have it, but they said I could get it from some place called ‘Book Depository.'”

Me: “Oh, yeah, that’s a website based in England.”

Customer: “So can you order it from there?”

Me: “You mean, me personally?”

Customer: “Great. How much is it?”

Me: “Oh, no, we can’t do it through the store. I’ll write down the website for you though and you can do it when you get home.”

Customer: “I don’t have a computer.”

Me: “The library is just across the road. You can see if they have it and if not you can use one of their computers.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just do it for me? Don’t you call people to tell them when their books come in?”

Me: “We do that when we’re selling the book. Book Depository is another company. They’re our competition. Doing that would be like me buying a book from the shop upstairs and calling you to tell you it’s come in.”

Customer: “But the shop upstairs didn’t have it.”

Me: “…It would be like me doing your supermarket shopping for you.”

Customer: “Do you think they’d have the book?”

Me: *trying not to slap the guy in the face* “No, my point was that they’re a different company. We can’t do your shopping for you, especially when it’s our competition and I would have to order it for you personally and with my own money.”

Customer: “Great! Let’s do that!”

Me: “…”

Wish You Could Throw The Book At Him

| Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I work in a small book store, and since most customers don’t bother taking a bag if they’re only buying one book, I usually wait to see what they do. Most people just grab the book as soon as they’ve paid, but if they don’t, then I ask if they need a bag. No one has ever seemed to have an issue with this method… Until now.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: *ignores me, throws money down at the counter*

Me: “…”

(As the receipt prints off he starts to reach forward, so I assume he’s going to just grab the book and not take a bag, so I don’t bother offering one. Big mistake.)

Customer: *pulls hand back* “Well? Can I get a bag?”

Me: *taken aback by his nasty, snarky tone* “Uh, sure.”

Customer: “Do things not come with bags anymore?”

Me: “Yes, but most people don’t bother with one when they only have one item.”

Customer: “Well I’m not most people, am I?”

Me: *under my breath, to myself* “No, you’re not. You’re too much of an a**-hole.”

Didn’t Find His Calling

| CA, USA | Bizarre

(I am working at the information desk at a bookstore when a customer comes up.)

Customer: “Hi, you have a phone call for me?”

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Customer: “Over the intercom, I heard it! You said “[very common male first name], you have a phone call on line one!”

Me: “Sir, that’s our store manager’s name. We were letting him know he had a phone call.”

Customer: “Oh.” *walks away disappointed*