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A Used-less Philosophy

| Waltham, MA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(I work in a used book store.)

Customer: “Do you have new books?”

Me: “Well, we sell mostly used books, but we have a small selection of new books here.”

Customer: “I always forget this is a used book store. I NEVER read a book someone else has read. I was a librarian and I wouldn’t even let my children check out books.”

Me: “…”

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Reaching The Upper Limits Of Their Understanding

| Surrey, England, UK | Extra Stupid

(I am busy working on the upper floor of a large bookshop when a customer gets my attention. Importantly, the only entrance/exit to this store is on the ground floor.)

Me: “Are you okay there, sir?”

Customer: “Is this the only floor?”

Me: “No, sir, this is the upper floor. There is another floor down the stairs you just came up.”

Customer: “So, this is the only floor?”

(Pause.)

Me: “Sir, there are two floors to this store. This is the upper floor. You must have walked through the ground floor to get here.”

Customer: “So, it’s just this?”

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Should Steal A Nugget Of Parental Advice

| TX, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Family & Kids, Popular

(The EAS alarm goes off as a young girl of around 12-13 and her mother are leaving. They both have purses and the mother also has a store bag.)

Me: “I can deactivate that bag and receipt for you.”

Mother: “Sure, thank you.”

(I run it over our sensor, and as they leave, the alarm goes off again. I call them back into the store.)

Me: “Do you have any new clothes or purses on? Sometimes there can be a sensor in the seam they forget to deactivate.”

Mother: “No. It might be my daughter’s keys.”

Me: *not even gonna ask* “Okay.” *to the kid* “If you can open up your purse, I can deactivate it for you.”

(The kid goes back through the sensors with haste and the alarm goes off again. The mother makes her open her purse, and there are some unpaid-for stuffed dolls inside. I take them back as the mother apologizes profusely.)

Me: “No harm done. It happens a lot.”

Mother: *as she’s leaving with her daughter* “You can’t steal! That’s not okay! That was not expensive enough to try to get away with it!”