May The Employees Be Ever In Your Favor

| Belgium | Right | June 1, 2012

(I’m a customer sitting in a bookstore calmly reading my own book. I always go there because it’s pretty cozy and they let me because I’m a regular.)

Customer: “Hey, you have a copy of The Hunger Games! The store employee said it was sold out!”

Me: “This is my own copy, ma’am. I just come here to read.”

Customer: “You little liar! You just don’t want ME to take the last copy to the counter first!”

(Suddenly, the customer snatches my book out of my hands and runs to the counter.)

Employee: “Excuse me ma’am, but I’m going to ask you to give that book back to the young miss over there.”

Customer: “WHAT?! But I came here first!”

Employee: “I can, in fact, confirm that the book belongs to the young miss.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Sell me this book!”

Employee: “I’m afraid I can’t, ma’am.”

Customer: *slams my book on the counter* “This is the worst service I’ve EVER gotten! I’m NEVER coming back here!” *runs out*

Employee: *to me* “I’m so sorry about that. If your book was harmed in any way, please let me know and I’ll reserve a new one for you.”

Me: *laughing* “Thanks, but it’s fine. Great service though!”

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One, Two, Skip A Few

| Livingston, NJ, USA | Right | May 28, 2012

Me: *answering the phone* “Thank you for calling [bookstore]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What are your hours?”

Me: “We’re open from 9 to 10 every day.”

Customer: “You’re only open for one hour?!”

Me: “Oh, no, 9 AM to 10 PM.”

Customer: “That’s only one hour!”

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A Clear And Self-Centered Danger

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | May 28, 2012

(A couple approaches the information desk while I’m manning it. They are probably in their mid-60s.)

Me:  “Can I help you find something?”

Customer:  “Yes, where are your paperbacks by Clancy?”

Me:  “They’re right over here in fiction; follow me.”

(They tag along behind me as I lead them the 10 steps over to the fiction wall.)

Me:  “He’s this whole shelf, and part of the next one.  Was there anything else you were looking for today?”

Customer:  “Other stuff like him. You know, like Woods, Connelly, and Lescroart.”

Me:  “Well, they’re all here in fiction too. It’s alphabetical by author, so you can work your way down from here.  Woods is right at the end by the window.”

Customer:  *peevish* “Why can’t you people just put all the stuff I like together?!”

(At this point his wife, who has been silent the whole time, chimes in.)

Customer’s Wife: “Because the world STILL doesn’t revolve around you, dear.” *to me* “His mother has a lot to answer for!”

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Choose Your Own Misadventures

| Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Right | May 24, 2012

(A woman walks up to the register with four pages out of four different books: a Grisham, a Kinsella, a King and a Straub.)

Me: “Did you find these pages loose?”

Customer: “No, I ripped them out. I want to buy them for 10 cents per page. Is that okay?”

Me: *shocked* “Um, no!”

Customer: *turns and leaves the store*

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We Read Your Attitude Loud And Clear

| Newfoundland, Canada | Working | May 21, 2012

(Note: This happened about 6 years ago when I was trying to spend my birthday money on comic books. A girl comes in all dressed up to pass in a resume; note that she has a guide dog. She gives it to the owner and smiles softly.)

Girl with guide dog: *to owner* “I was hoping you’d be hiring.”

Owner: *takes her resume* “How about you come in Wednesday at two for an interview?”

Girl with guide dog: “I’m sorry sir, I’m hard of hearing. Would you mind facing me when you talk?”

Owner: *gruffly* “Nevermind. There’s no openings. We just finished hiring.”

Girl with guide dog: *sadly* “Oh…thank you anyway.”

(Having overheard everything, ALL the customers in the store simultaneously left without buying anything. I haven’t been back since!)

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