You Got The Wrong(est) Lover

| Medford, MA, USA | Books & Reading

(I work at a bookstore. It’s well known at work that my voice resembles my manager’s voice.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [bookstore], this is–”

Caller: “Hey, you little vixen, when are you coming home? I’ve got a bottle of champagne–”

Me: “Um, wait, I–”

Caller: “Ooh, I’m gonna–”

Me: *turning beet red* “Nancy! Your husband is on the phone!”

Related:
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 5
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 4
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 3
You Got The Wrong(est) Number, Part 2
You Got The Wrong(est) Number

Before Pride, But After Prejudice

| Orem, UT, USA | Books & Reading

Customer: “Do you have Pride and Prejudice?”

Me: “Of course, it’s right over this way.”

(I grab a copy and hand it to her.)

Customer: “Was this written before or after the movie?”

Me: *caught off guard* “Um…before.”

Obviously, He Needs Food For Thought

| Connecticut, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a large, well-known used bookstore. We offer complimentary coffee and doughnuts to our patrons, but we do not have a cafe or serve any other food. The bookshelves are extremely obvious and numerous. A middle-aged man enters.)

Customer: “I’ll have a medium hot dog to go.”

Me: *laughing* “Sorry, sir! We’re fresh out of hot dogs!”

Customer: *rolling his eyes and heaving a big sigh* “Okay, then what else do you have?”

Me: “Um, we have coffee and doughnuts.”

Customer: “That’s it? You don’t have any sandwiches or anything? What kind of a restaurant is this?”

Me: “We’re a bookstore.”

Customer: “A bookstore!? But I’m hungry!”

Me: “Well, like I said, we do have coffee and doughnuts–”

Customer: “Forget it! I’ll find another restaurant. This is ridiculous!”

Related:Obviously, She Needs Food For Thought