Flayed Nerves

| California, USA | Right | June 25, 2012

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a cookbook by a famous chef. He’s on TV. His name is Bobby Fray.”

Me: “Oh, sure…you mean Bobby Flay. Let me—”

Customer: “No, no, NO! I said Bobby FRAY. That’s F-R-A-Y. Fray!”

Me: “Okay, just follow me over to the cookbooks. We’ll take a look and see if we can find what you’re looking for.”

(She follows me to the cookbooks. I pull one of Bobby Flay’s books off the shelf and hand it to her.)

Me: “Is this the author you were looking for?”

Customer: “Yes! See, Bobby Fray—”

(Upon reading “Flay,” she screams in frustration and throws the book on the floor at my feet and storms out.)

Me: *speechless*

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Weekly Roundup: The Parent Is Not Always Right

, , , , | Not Always Right | Right | June 24, 2012

The Parent Is Not Always Right: This week, we feature five stories of people who aren’t just bad customers, but bad parents too!

  1. Bad Parents Bug Us:
    A mother and her two “angels” go on an insect-killing spree at a zoo.
  2. Fruit Is But One Food Group:
    There’s nothing sweet about this parent’s approach to nutrition!
  3. Talking S*** Behind Someone’s Back 101:
    A mother teaches her daughter the joys of smack-talk.
  4. Rounding Down To The Nearest Child:
    Signs you have too many kids: you don’t know how many you have!
  5. Oh Where, Oh Where Have My Role Models Gone:
    Nanny nanny boo-boo, mommy acts like a doo-doo!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Banishing Bellatrix

| New York, USA | Working | June 18, 2012

(My parents own a small bookstore. Being all fair-skinned redheads, it was only logical on Halloween that my three older brothers and I dress as the Weasleys from Harry Potter. Two other coworkers get into the spirit and dress as Harry and Draco. The newest coworker is a girl who wasn’t really working out. She’s dressed in an overly-revealing princess costume, so we’ve asked her to change, which she complains about.)

Me: *to customer* “Thank you! Happy Halloween and come again!”

Regular Customer #1: “Thank you, Ginny! I love this place. You guys are always so cute!”

Me: “Thank you!”

Regular Customer #2: “So, Fred and George helped me find this book, but I need to order another one. Should I see Harry Potter or Draco Malfoy about that?”

New Coworker: *to regular customer #2* “What the h***?! That isn’t anyone’s name that works here. Are all your customers retarded or something?!”

Me: *to regular customer #2* “Draco will be more than happy to help you.” *to new coworker* “It’s just some Halloween fun…no need to be rude to our customers.” *to regular customer #2* “I’m sorry about that.”

New Coworker: “That’s dumb. This is the worst job I’ve ever had!”

Me: “This is the only job you’ve ever had.”

Regular Customer #2: *to new coworker* “You were that girl who was dressed totally inappropriately, right?”

New Coworker: “You can’t talk to me like that!”

Brother #1: “Sure she can. Ma’am, I’ll be happy to escort you over to Mister Malfoy.”

New Coworker: “You people are a joke! You just can’t stand that I’m working here!”

Me: “What?!”

New Coworker: “It’s because I’m so pretty, isn’t it?! It’s because I’m blond and pretty!”

(Note: Regular Customer #3 is a young college-aged guy who comes in a couple times a week.)

Regular Customer #3: *to new coworker* “Hey, could you maybe get out of the way so I can actually buy these books and talk to the lovely little redhead there? You’re just kind of taking up space.”

New Coworker: “I am not!”

Regular Customer #3: “Uh huh…” *to me* “So, Ginny, wanna go out with me tonight? There’s this party and I was hoping maybe you’d go with me.”

New Coworker: “What?! You’re seriously asking HER?! But I’m BLOND and PRETTY!”

Regular Customer #3: “…And rude. Let’s not forget rude. Now please, I’m trying to have a conversation here.”

New Coworker: “Oh my God, I quit! This place is awful! NO ONE APPRECIATES ME!”

(She runs out of the store, throwing her name tag at me in the process.)

Brother #2: “Harry Potter’s scar no longer burns…the evil one, she has been defeated.”

Regular Customer #3: “Well, at least she’s gone. I was serious about that party, though.”

(We’ve been dating ever since!)

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Don’t Get Caught In A Bad Cycle

, | Louisville, KY, USA | Romantic | June 15, 2012

(My (now ex-) boyfriend and I met working in a local bookstore. He is off one day and asks if he can borrow my car while I am working, as his car is shared with his grandmother, who he lives with. I say yes, remind him of what time I get off work, and don’t think anything else of it. My shift finishes and he is nowhere to be found. I am standing in our parking lot, fuming, as another coworker passes me on his way out. He offers me a ride home. Just as I open my mouth to accept the offer, my car comes to a screeching halt in front of the store. My boyfriend bounds out of the car, gesturing excitedly for us to come look at something. We go out and my boyfriend is flipping open the hatch of my little mini-wagon. There in the back, is a shiny new mountain bike. He & our coworker begin excitedly talking bikes, etc. My boyfriend tells him that he just paid $275 for this thing, as he pulls it out of the car to be admired. I am hot, tired, and hungry.)

Me: “I’m glad you got a new toy. Can we go now?”

(He ignores me, goes on talking about the bike.)

Me: “Did you at least put some gas in my car, since you were out riding around all day?”

Coworker: *catching on to my worsening mood* “Uhm, dude? You might want to listen to her for a minute.”

Boyfriend: *to me* “Just a second.” *to co-worker* “Yeah, I live close enough I can ride to work every day now if I want to. No more depending on Grammy to let me use her car.”

Me: “I’m not trying to be a witch here, but I didn’t get lunch and really need something to eat. Can we please go somewhere and get dinner now?”

Boyfriend: “Um, well, I spent all my money on the bike. But Grammy’s got a bunch of leftover junk in the fridge so I thought we’d just go back to the house and eat there.”

Me: *stony silence*

Coworker: *facepalm* “You just blew it, pal.”

(My clueless boyfriend goes back to prattling away about how cool his new bike is. I get in the car and drive off, leaving him there. Might as well let him get used to the ride to Grammy’s.)

Hardcovers Vs. Hard Hats

| Melbourne, Australia | Right | June 14, 2012

Customer: “Hi, do you have any safety vests?”

Me: “Safety vests?”

Customer: “Yeah. Safety vests.”

Me: “Like the ones that are neon yellow with reflective stripes?”

Customer: “Yes! A safety vest! Are you an idiot?”

Me: “Uhhh, no sir, but we’re a science fiction bookstore. You’d want a hardware store for that kind of thing.”

Customer: “Well, why DON’T you sell them?”

Me: “Because we sell books.”

Customer: “Well, you should!”

Me: “I don’t think many of our customers would normally want a safety vest when they come into a bookstore, sir.”

Customer: “Well, I did!”

Please See The “Time Travel” Section

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