Fish Trek 2: It All Goes Downstream From Here

| Colorado, USA | Colorado, USA | Top

Customer: “This book looks interesting. How do I watch it?”

Me: “Watch it?”

Customer: “Yes, where can I find the movie?”

Me: “I don’t think this book has been adapted into a movie.”

Customer: “What do you mean? Where can I go to watch it? I want to know what happens in the book!”

Me: “Forgive me for asking, but if you want to know what happens, why not just read it?”

Customer: “Read? How stupid! Where’s the movie! All books are made into movies so that we don’t have to read them!”

Me: “I am sorry, I can’t help you. This is a bookstore. Only popular books–usually adventure stories–are adapted into movies. I am quite sure that this book hasn’t been made into a movie.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Because it’s a fishing manual.”

Last Of The NonFictions

| Edmonton, AB, USA | Uncategorized

(I am a customer and I have been looking all over for a certain book. I see someone reading it.)

Me: “Excuse me, but could you show me where you found that?”

Girl: “Yeah, just follow me!”

(She leads me to a shelf of books.)

Girl: “I found it right there!”

Me: “I don’t see it.”

Girl: “Oh, that’s because I took the last one!”

Rebuilding Frankenstein

| New England, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Can you help me find to “Frankenstein” trilogy by James Patterson?”

Me: “Sir, I think maybe you mean Dean Koontz.”

Customer: “No. Patterson wrote it.”

Me: “OK, one moment, let me get that for you.”

(I return with the first book of Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein trilogy).)

Me: “Is this what you wanted?”

Customer: “Yeah. That’s the one. I need the fourth book in the trilogy.”

Me: “I believe there are only three books in the trilogy.”

Customer: “No, I read online. There are four.”

Me: “Alright. One minute, please.”

(I return with the third book in the trilogy.)

Me: “Is this what you needed?”

Customer: “Yeah. That’s it. Have you read these?”

Me: “Yes I have. I thought they were a wonderful re-imagining of Mary Shelley. I really enjoyed Koontz’s ideas about the monster.”

Customer: “Yeah but he didn’t even put Frankenstein in the books. Just some scientist guy. What kind of a name is Victor anyway?”

Related:
Re-Vamping Dracula

A-B-C, Easy As D-U-H

| Massachusetts, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?”

Me: “Sure.”

(He holds up a piece of paper with the title and author of a book on it. I find it on the shelves and hand it to him.)

Customer: “Thanks! How’d you do that so fast?”

Me: “Well, I’ve worked here awhile, and the books are all in alphabetical order by author’s name.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Alphabetical order. Like the alphabet song? You know, A’s before B’s?”

(He looks confused, but then widens his eyes.)

Customer: “The letters actually go in that order? I thought that song was just to remember them all!”

A Major Problem With A Minor Request

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Good afternoon, [bookstore]!”

Caller: “Hi, I have to do a project where I read to kids and they respond. Do you have that?”

Me: “You need a book to read to them? Sure! We have plenty of children’s books.”

Caller: “No, I need to read to kids and have them respond.”

Me: “Right, we have plenty of books you could chose from to read to them.”

Caller: “No, I need to read to kids and have them respond.”

Me: “So what exactly is it that you need from us?”

Caller: “Can I do that there?”

Me: “Well, we don’t provide the children.”

Caller: *disappointed* “Oh, okay. Bye.”

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