Not Sure What Just Wrappened

| Norway | Right | September 25, 2012

(An older customer approaches my counter and pays for a book.)

Me: “Would you like me to wrap it up for you?”

Customer: “Well, yes, if you really want to.”

Me: “I would be glad to do that for you!” *wraps the book for him*

Customer: “Thanks for the gift, dear!” *immediately unwraps the book and leaves the store*

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Education Is Bacon For Granted

| Virginia, USA | Right | September 21, 2012

(We are a college bookstore that sells fetal pigs that biology students must purchase and dissect for their labs. Students usually come in knowing whether they must purchase a male or female pig.)

Student: “Hi, I need to buy a fetal pig.”

Me: “No problem. Male or female?”

Student: “What’s the difference?”

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In God We Tax

| Pasadena, CA, USA | Right | September 15, 2012

(An elderly customer in a Catholic priest’s cassock with a thick Irish accent comes into our bookstore. I add up his purchases and hand him a receipt. He looks over it, but hands it back to me.)

Customer: “There’s been a mistake. I don’t pay sales tax.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. Can I see your resale card?”

Customer: “I don’t have one of those. These items are for myself.”

Me: “Well, then, I’m afraid you have to pay sales tax. Everyone pays sales tax unless they have a resale card.”

Customer: “You’re mistaken. Priests don’t pay sales tax.”

Me: “Maybe not in Ireland, but they do in the US.”

Customer: “…And that’s why this country is completely uncivilized!” *leaves*

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Literature Is All Greek To Me

| Wales, UK | Working | September 12, 2012

(I approach a cashier behind the counter looking for some help in finding a book.)

Me: “Excuse me, do you know where I could find the works of Homer?”

Cashier: *pauses* “Like the Simpson?”

Online Store, Meet Offline Brain, Part 2

| Livingston, NJ, USA | Right | September 10, 2012

Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like we don’t have that book in stock. I can order it for you, though.”

Customer: “Oh, no. I don’t do that ordering stuff. I don’t give my credit card information out under any circumstances.”

Me: “Well, we process the orders through a register, so it’s actually just like making a regular purchase.”

Customer: “I already told you, no! I don’t do that ordering stuff! I’ll just get it online. That’s all!”

Me: “But buying it online IS ordering. You’re giving your credit card information out.”

Customer: *pats my shoulder* “Oh, dear, it’s totally different. You have so much to learn, don’t you? Now, have a nice day!”

Me: *speechless*

 

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