Being The President Sucks

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Books & Reading, History, Politics

Customer: “Do you have a copy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

Me: “I’m not sure, let me check.” *I check our bestsellers section* “No sir, not at this time.”

Customer: “But did you look back in the history section?”

Me: “For Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “No, I did not.”

Limping Through College

| Flint, MI, USA | Books & Reading, School, Uncategorized

Customer: “Can you help me find the book for my class?”

Me: “Sure. Do you have your course schedule?”

Customer: “Uh, no. Why?”

Me: “They tell me what books are needed for each class.”

Customer: “Cool.”

Me: “So, I need to know what class you’re taking.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “English, Math, Physics, Biology? If you can tell me what the course is, we might be able to find it that way.”

Customer: “Sorry, dude. I’m new to this whole college thing.”

Me: “How about your professor’s name? We’ve got quite a few professors that only teach one class.”

Customer: “My class is at night. Wednesdays, I think. And my teacher is a lady, with a limp.”

Me: *Looking at a course card.* “I found it! Wednesday nights, with the lady who limps.”

Customer: “Bro, you’re a life saver.”

Me: “I was kidding.”

Customer: “So, that’s not my book then?”

Purple Digital Rain

| Cape Town, South Africa | Books & Reading, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey there, can you help me find a book?”

Me:“Of course, ma’am. Do you know the author or title?”

Customer: “Well you see, I was at the beach and I saw this girl reading a purple book. She looked like she was really enjoying it! I want that book.”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re going to have to be more specific. There are a lot of books with purple covers.”

Customer: “Can’t you search on your computer for purple books?”

Me: “Unfortunately, no.”

Customer: “I’ll go to a bookstore that has better computers.”

Not So Beautiful Mind

| Alberta, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a book based off a movie. Life is Beautiful, I think?”

Me: “I don’t believe Life is Beautiful” was originally a book. Are you perhaps thinking of A Beautiful Mind?”

Customer: “Yes! Yes that’s the one! Get me that one! It’s the one about World War II. And the guy is burned. And there’s a French Nurse. That’s the book I want!”

Me: “That actually sounds like The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje. I can grab a copy of that for you!”

Customer: “Yes! The English Patient. That sounds right. But Michael Ondaatje, that sounds like a foreign name. No, The English Patient wasn’t written by a foreigner. Do you have a copy that wasn’t written by Ondaatje? I want that story, but I want it written by a Canadian.”

Me: “So you want a copy of The English Patient that is not written by Michael Ondaatje?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s what I want. Do you have any copies of that story written by Margaret Atwood? I do like her.”

Me: “No. I really don’t think we do.”

Customer: “Oh. Do you think any of your other stores might?”

Me: “I doubt it, ma’am.”

Fish Trek 2: It All Goes Downstream From Here

| Colorado, USA | Colorado, USA | Top

Customer: “This book looks interesting. How do I watch it?”

Me: “Watch it?”

Customer: “Yes, where can I find the movie?”

Me: “I don’t think this book has been adapted into a movie.”

Customer: “What do you mean? Where can I go to watch it? I want to know what happens in the book!”

Me: “Forgive me for asking, but if you want to know what happens, why not just read it?”

Customer: “Read? How stupid! Where’s the movie! All books are made into movies so that we don’t have to read them!”

Me: “I am sorry, I can’t help you. This is a bookstore. Only popular books–usually adventure stories–are adapted into movies. I am quite sure that this book hasn’t been made into a movie.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “Because it’s a fishing manual.”

Page 69/95First...6768697071...Last