50 Clichés Of Grey

| Darlington, UK | Right | August 17, 2012

Customer: “I want this book banned! It’s offensive and crude!” *slams a copy of 50 Shades of Grey onto the counter*

Employee: “I’m sorry you find it smutty sir, but—”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a problem with that. It’s just poorly written.”

Employee: “Fair enough, I suppose. You do realise that we can’t just ban books for that?”

Customer: *grins sheepishly* “I know, but it was worth a try.”

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Freed Vibrations

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Right | August 10, 2012

(I am standing in line at a book store. The customer in front of me is getting rung through. She’s about 45, and the cashier is maybe 19.)

Customer: “Have you read these?” *holds up 50 Shades Darker*

Cashier: “Oh… no.”

Customer: “Oh, you MUST! They’re amazing!”

Cashier: “So I hear.”

Customer: *puts the book to her chest* “Oh, they’re just amazing!”

Cashier: “Uh huh.”

(The customer proceeds to go on and on about how sexy and scandalous the books are. The cashier is doing her very best to ignore her and just ring her through.)

Customer: *after paying* “Oh, thank you very much! One more thing: do you know where I can buy some batteries?”

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It’s Best To Book It

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Right | August 10, 2012

(I’m the merchandising manager of a large bookstore. I see a man looking around for books. He seems quite perplexed, so I try to help him.)

Me: “May I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m having a h*** of a time finding these books on my list.”

Me: “What’s the first book?”

(I help him find half the books on the list, but he seems to be having a hard time reading the list. )

Me: “Maybe you could just give me the list, and I’ll find them for you?”

Customer: “Oh, yes!”

(He hands me a crumpled receipt from my store.)

Me: “So, you want to replace these books you purchased before?”

Customer: “Well, no… I was thinking I could get these books, take them to the front counter with the receipt and get money baaaaaa—” *trails off*

(There’s a bit of deadly silence as the customer realizes that he’s been caught.)

Customer: “I guess that won’t work now, huh?”

Me: “I think you should leave the store, sir. Have a nice day.”

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The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 11

| FL, USA | Right | August 7, 2012

(I am a customer at a bookstore. I’m browsing the teen literature section to see what all the hype is over the Twilight series. A nearby customer sees me paging through one of the books and speaks up excitedly.)

Girl: “I love Twilight!”

Me: “Oh, are you interested in vampire stories?”

Girl: “Absolutely! I love anything to do with vampires! I know about all there is to know about them!”

Me: “You must be a big Bram Stoker fan, then.”

Girl: *quizzical look* “Who is that?”

Me: *puts Twilight down quickly*

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 10
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

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Portrait Of A Customer As A Young Man

| Curitiba, Brazil | Right | August 4, 2012

Me: “Hi, this is [bookstore]. Can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, do you have Ulysses in stock?”

Me: “We have it on paperback and hardcover. Do you want to make a reservation?”

Caller: “What is the author’s name?”

Me: “It’s James Joyce, sir.”

Caller: “J-A-M-E-S-J-O-Y-C-E, 10 letters… thank you! I’m doing some crosswords and I needed the answer to this. Thanks!” *click*

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