A Clear And Self-Centered Danger

| Boston, MA, USA | Top

(A couple approaches the information desk while I’m manning it. They are probably in their mid-60s.)

Me:  “Can I help you find something?”

Customer:  “Yes, where are your paperbacks by Clancy?”

Me:  “They’re right over here in fiction; follow me.”

(They tag along behind me as I lead them the 10 steps over to the fiction wall.)

Me:  “He’s this whole shelf, and part of the next one.  Was there anything else you were looking for today?”

Customer:  “Other stuff like him. You know, like Woods, Connelly, and Lescroart.”

Me:  “Well, they’re all here in fiction too. It’s alphabetical by author, so you can work your way down from here.  Woods is right at the end by the window.”

Customer:  *peevish* “Why can’t you people just put all the stuff I like together?!”

(At this point his wife, who has been silent the whole time, chimes in.)

Customer’s Wife: “Because the world STILL doesn’t revolve around you, dear.” *to me* “His mother has a lot to answer for!”

One, Two, Skip A Few

| Livingston, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: *answering the phone* “Thank you for calling [bookstore]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What are your hours?”

Me: “We’re open from 9 to 10 every day.”

Customer: “You’re only open for one hour?!”

Me: “Oh, no, 9 AM to 10 PM.”

Customer: “That’s only one hour!”

Choose Your Own Misadventures

| Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Bizarre

(A woman walks up to the register with four pages out of four different books: a Grisham, a Kinsella, a King and a Straub.)

Me: “Did you find these pages loose?”

Customer: “No, I ripped them out. I want to buy them for 10 cents per page. Is that okay?”

Me: *shocked* “Um, no!”

Customer: *turns and leaves the store*