The Time Traveler’s Strife

| Provo, UT, USA | Extra Stupid

Me: “Thank you for calling [bookstore]. This is [name], how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to order 20 copies of [title].”

(I look it up.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like that book is out of print.”

Customer: “It can’t be out of print! I have a copy of it right here in my hand!”

Try Wallmart, Part 2

| New York, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

Me: “Thank you for calling Borders. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I’m redoing my kitchen right now and I could use some help. I’ve got all the counters and the floors and the cabinets planned, but I can’t decide what to do with the walls. I was thinking some kind of trim would be nice.”

Me: “Okay.”

Caller: *silent*

Me: “Sorry, what are you looking for?”

Caller: “Just trying to figure out what you offer.”

Me: “Uh, well, I can do a quick search on home renovation or decorating and see what we have?”

Caller: “Don’t you have samples or something?”

Me: “What?”

Caller: *sighs loudly* “SAMPLES. Can you come over and bring me some samples?”

Me: “…What?”

Caller: “Oh, good God. Samples, honey! SAM-PLES. They come in a big binder? Show all your different kinds of wallpaper?”

Me: “You know you’ve called Borders, yes?”

Caller: “Of course!”

Me: “…and you know Borders is a bookstore?”

Caller: “No. It’s a wallpaper company.”

Me: “It’s not; it’s a bookstore. We sell books.”

Caller: “ONLY books?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Caller: “Well, then why the h*** did you name it Borders? It sounds like you do wallpaper borders and trims and things!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Do you want me to look up a book on wallpaper for you?”

Caller: “Can you install it if I find something I like?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “You’re useless!” *hangs up*

Related:
Try Wallmart

Childlike Parenting

| Washington, USA | Family & Kids

(I am working in the children’s section of the bookstore. A parent comes in looking for a learn-to-read series for their kid.)

Parent: “I want something that will teach my kid how to read.”

Me: “Well, there are a few good series over here. My little cousin used Bob Books and really liked them.”

Parent: “No, my kid needs sound too. Do you have anything like that?”

Me: “Sure, there are two right here.”

Parent: “So, if I buy one of these, I can just let my kid learn to read all by themselves? I won’t have to help them at all?”

Me: “Um, you want a learn to read series that doesn’t require you actually spend any time reading with your child?”

Parent: “Yes. Absolutely. You have that, right?”

Me: “No, we don’t. Any child who is learning to read requires some parental involvement. You could let them read to you as a way of checking on their progress. That would be the absolute bare minimum.”

Parent: “Well, that sucks! So much for technology improving our lives!”