Rushing: It’s All Relative

| Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout

(Our company has a free membership cards, where people can collect points on their purchases that build towards discounts. Cashiers are required to ask all of our customers if they have a card.)

Me: “Do you have one of our membership cards?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “All right, would you like to sign up for one today? They’re free, and they’ll eventually save you some money.”

Customer: “No, no! I’m in a rush, so, never mind.”

Me: “All right, your total is [total]”

(The customer pays, but is no longer paying attention to me. Instead, she’s talking to her boyfriend, looking annoyed, and is visibly waving around one of our membership cards.)

Customer’s Boyfriend: “You know that’s one of their cards, right?”

Customer: “Is it? Oh, well is it too late to get my points?”

Me: “Unfortunately, the transaction has already gone through, so yes it is. You can come in when you have some more time and I can do a point adjustment. I just have to refund and resell you your purchase.”

Customer: “Well, can you do it now? We’re not in a rush…”

Now We Know Why Katniss Wants To Kick A**

| Pennsylvania, USA | Uncategorized

Teenage customer: “I’d like to return The Hunger Games.”

(Note that she had just purchased The Hunger Games a few minutes ago. As is customary, I ask if there’s anything wrong.)

Me: “I’ll be happy to return this for you. Were you not happy with it?”

Teenage customer: “Oh, I just changed my mind. I thought of something better that I wanted.”

Me: “Oh, what’s that?”

Teenage customer:Twilight!”

Your Comprehension Of Comprehension Is Incomprehensible

| Illinois, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

(I am a bookstore clerk at the local high school. I am talking to a mom who is getting the books her daughter needs.)

Mother: “My daughter doesn’t have a problem with comprehension! She just doesn’t understand the material.”