It’s Not Getting Any Bella

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Right | February 19, 2013

Customer: “I’m looking for a book.”

(I wait for a moment waiting for her to continue, before realizing she isn’t going to.)

Me: “What book are you looking for?”

Customer: “Well I don’t know the title or the author’s name.”

Me: “Is there anything at all you know about the book?”

Customer: “I know it has a blue cover.”

Me: “We have several hundred volumes with blue covers. Is there anything else you can tell me to help narrow it down?”

Customer: “Well, I think it was about a teenage girl.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that really doesn’t narrow it down much.”

Customer: “Oh my God! You are completely unhelpful! You should know what I’m talking about!”

Me: “I could point you in the direction of our teen section so you could have a look and see if you recognize anything.”

Customer: “That would take far too long! I just wanted one book, and you’ve completely wasted my time.” *storms out*

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Not Getting Into Her Good Books

| USA | Romantic | February 17, 2013

(I’m in a book store with a few friends when we spot a fairly attractive woman. One of my friends, who has a tendency to be extremely disrespectful and think he’s actually being complimentary decides he’s the only one who deserves to ask her out and approaches her.)

Friend: “Well hello, baby!”

(She doesn’t answer.)

Friend: “You lookin’ fiiiine, baby girl.”

(She stares at him for a moment, then rolls her eyes and goes back to her book.)

Friend: *moves closer to her* “I like that sexy a**, it look good and tiny in them jeans.”

Woman: *sarcastically and without looking up* “Kind of like how your brain looks smaller every time you open your mouth?”

Friend: <“Hey, f*** you! Who the h*** do you think you is, b****, you can't talk to me like that! Do you know who I am?” Woman: *snaps shut her book* “Someone who very badly needs to return to elementary grammar lessons. Excuse me.” *walks away*

(Everybody near by was laughing so hard that his whining about how she was just an uptight b**** and he hadn’t done anything wrong was pretty much ignored.)

Can’t Make The Lie Stick

| Gainesville, FL, USA | Right | February 14, 2013

Customer: “Is this book on sale?”

Me: “No, sir. It doesn’t have a discount sticker, so it’s not on any of our sales.”

Customer: “But I found it on a display where every other book had a sticker!”

Me: “Which display? If you show me, I’ll look at the sign and see if we made a mistake.”

Customer: “Um. I don’t know. Over there somewhere. But don’t you think it’s misleading if every other book has a sticker except this one?”

Me: “Again, if you show me the display, I’ll figure out if you can get a discount.”

(The customer finally leads me to the display, looking defeated. Turns out he was making that face because he knew he was lying. The display contained 25 titles: 8 of them had a discount sticker of some kind. I’m bad at math, but even I know 8 out of 25 and 24 out of 25 isn’t the same thing. And no, he did not get a discount.)

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From Hair Raising To Heart Warming

| UK | Right | February 13, 2013

(I am standing behind the till, serving customers. I wear a wig; I had Alopecia when I was 16 and haven’t had any hair for three years. A male customer goes past the till, heading for the children’s section, and sees me.)

Customer: “Oh my god, your hair looks amazing! How did you get it like that?!”

Me: “It’s a wig, actually! I lost my hair when I was younger.”

(The customer looks very shocked, but then suddenly gives me a thumbs up.)

Customer: “Darling, you look smashing.”

Me: “Thank you, you just made my day!”

(The customer who took the time to give my self esteem a boost?! I honestly hope he wins the lottery one day!)

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He’s Got Your Barack

| Monterey, CA, USA | Right | February 8, 2013

(Just after the election in 2008, we sell out of Obama’s two books, as well as most books portraying him well. In order to sell more of the other candidates’ books, we put them out on a display with lower sales prices. A young man approaches.)

Customer: “Dude, what’s with the Anti-Obama section?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “Yeah, what do you guys have against Obama? Seriously?”

Me: *noticing what he’s pointing at* “Oh. We’re sold out of his books, and we need to get rid of a few of these.”

(Our city is overwhelmingly liberal, so we have a hard enough time selling these books as it is.)

Customer: “Why do you even have this trash anyway?”

Me: “It’s got nothing to do with politics. We just would rather sell these books than toss them out. If you need me, I’ll be shelving.”

Customer: *to his friend as they walk away* “God, Obama just gets no respect.”

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