Had Too Many Muska-Beers

| Nanaimo, B.C., Canada | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Language & Words

Me: “Can I help you sir?”

Customer: “Yes do you have any books by Alexander Dumba**?”

Me: “I think you mean Alexandre Dumas?”

Customer: “Oh, is that how you say it?”

Cinnamon Puns

| North Bay, ON, Canada | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Hall of Fame, Language & Words, Top

Customer: “Our daughter is looking for a book called Antonyms and Cinnamons.”

(I type it into our search system, but no dice.)

Me: “Would you know the author’s name?”

Customer: “No, I forget. It was something weird though. She wrote it down, but I forget.”

Me: “Might you mean Antonyms and Synonyms?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s it!”

(I search again.)

Me: “Nothing with that exact title is coming up. Was there more to it?”

Customer: “The author’s name. It was something funny. Sounded like a dinosaur. Wait, I think I might have it here.”

(She searches through her pockets and fishes out a little folded piece of paper.)

Customer: “Here it is. Antonyms and Cinnamons by Theo Saurus!'”

Can’t See The Wood In The Trees

| Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Uncategorized

( I am ringing up a customer. I pick up a plastic bag and hold it up.)

Me: “Do you need a bag?”

Customer: “No, thanks. I’ll save a tree.”

Me: *jokingly* “Yeah, those plastic trees are really endangered.”

Customer: *looking shocked and worried* “They are?!”

Try Not To Read Too Much Into It

| Winchester, UK | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Funny Names, Holidays, Top

(A six or seven year old boy comes into the children’s bookstore, his mother trailing behind him.)

Mother: “Go on then! Ask! She won’t know what you’re talking about and then you can stop wasting my time!”

Boy: “Hello!”

Me: “Hello.”

Boy: “I want a book.”

Me: “Well you’re in the right place.”

Boy: “It’s about a boy. Who lives with a caveman. He’s got a funny name beginning with ‘S’.”

Mother: “There. Now you know there’s no such book.”

Me: “That wouldn’t be ‘Stig of the Dump’ would it?”

Boy: *jumping up and down* “Yes yes yes! I told you mummy!”

Mother: “Don’t contradict me in front of my son!” *starts walking her son out of the shop and still talking to me* “You read too many books!”

Taking Their Sweet Time

| Tacoma, WA, USA | Books & Reading, Funny Names, Top

Customer: “I’m looking for a book called Like Watery Chocolate For Chocolately Water or something.”

Me:Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel?”

Customer: “Um…no…it’s by this Mexican author.”

Me: “Yes, Laura Esquivel. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

Customer: “No, it has all these recipes in it.”

Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel.’

Customer: “No it has like this blue cover.”

Me: “Yes. Like Water For Chocolate by Laura Esquivel. I can take you right to it, ma’am.”

Customer: “No, that’s not it! They’re making a movie out of it!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. The book is Like Water For Chocolate.”

Customer: “No! Oh, you’re just no help at all!” *stomps off*

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