Just Plain Batty

| Colorado Springs, CO, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Religion

(My friend used to own a comic book in the local mall. I am a tall goth girl and am leaning against a book case reading a Japanese graphic novel.)

Customer’s Young Son: *tries to reach for a comic on the top shelf*

Me: “Here you go!” *hands him the comic* “Batman is my favorite super hero.”

(The young boy’s father approaches.)

Customer: “What they H*** do you think you’re doing talking to my son?! You’re trying to possess him with your evil!”

Me: “I was handing him a book.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! You were trying to convert him to worshipping the devil!”

Owner: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “How dare you let devil worshippers hang around in your store?! She was trying to convert my son with this devil bat comic!”

Owner: “She handed him the comic. That is all, sir.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me! You’re one of them aren’t you? You’re both in a cult together!” *to his son* “Son, we never go near these people again, do you hear me? I’ll tell everyone this store is evil!”

Me: “Sir, I’m actually an atheist and am offended that you would make such blind accusations based on my appearance.”

Customer: “Don’t tell me how to raise my son! God hates you!”

Owner: “Sir, I would like you to get out of my store and never return.”

Customer: “I can enter here if I want. It’s a free country, and you HAVE to serve me!”

Owner: *calmly* “You’re right, it is a free country, and as the owner of this shop, I have the freedom to tell you to get the f*** out or I’ll call the police.”

Customer: *grabs his son and leaves hastily*

Time To Pega-sulk

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Family & Kids

(A little girl approaches me holding up a book with a unicorn on the cover.)

Little Girl: “I think unicorns are beautiful!”

Me: “They sure are! That looks like a great book for you!”

Little Girl: “I think you’re a unicorn!”

Me: “Aww! Does that mean you think I’m beautiful?”

Little Girl: “No! It means you’re a horse with a big horn on your head!”

Me: “Umm…thank you?”

Not Paying At-Ten-tion

| Canberra, Australia | Money

(I work in a bookshop and we are having a sale. Everything is $10, and there are signs and tags everywhere.)

Customer: “Excuse me, how much is this?”

Me: “Everything in store is $10.”

Customer: “So, how much is this?”

Me: “$10.”

Customer: (picks up another book) “…and this?”

Me: “$10.”

Customer: “That can’t be right. It’s too cheap!”

Me: “I assure you it is. We’re having a sale. Everything is $10.”

Customer: “Oh, great!”

(The customer picks up another book with a big $10 sticker on the front.)

Customer: “So, how much is this one?”