Jane Austen-tacious

| Connecticut, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi. Maybe you can help me. I saw a movie last night on TV. It was about those things that Oprah does? Do you know what it was?”

Me: “What happened in the movie?”

Customer: “Well, they read books, but only by this one person who writes books.”

Me: “Like a book club?”

Customer: “Yes! A book club! But the movie came from a book. What was the title?”

Me: “Was it The Jane Austin Book Club?”

Customer: “Yes! Would you have any books by Jane Austen?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

(I take her to our Jane Austen books. She is very excited and starts flipping through them.)

Customer: “Hey, wait! There’s no photo of her! I want to see what she looks like!”

Me: “I’m afraid there aren’t any photos of her.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “She lived two hundred years ago.”

Customer: “Oh! So do all of her books take place in her time?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “So…she didn’t write The Jane Austen Book Club?”

Not Going Buy The Book = Not Going To Buy The Book

| Salem, OR, USA | Books & Reading, Uncategorized

Me: “Hey, how are you doing today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I put a stack of books on hold up here three weeks ago.”

Me: “Our policy states we can only hold books for 24 hours. So, there most likely not up here.”

Customer: “You were the girl that put them on hold. You told me you could hold them till I came back. Don’t you remember?”

Me: “Ma’am, I always let customers now about our 24 hour policy. We can’t hold their books for 3 weeks. I can get someone over here to help you find the books again if you’d like.”

Customer: “Well, what were they?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “What books did I put on hold!? That was three weeks ago. How the h*** am I suppose to remember?”

It’s All Dutch To Me

| Eindhoven, Netherlands | Canada, Language & Words, Tourists/Travel, Uncategorized

Customer: “Hey, can I buy these, please?”

Me: “Sure. That’ll be 10 euros.”

(The customer hands me 10 Canadian dollars.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t take that currency.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Me: “Because this isn’t Canada.”

Customer: “But I thought you guys use Canadian dollars? My friend said they use Canadian dollars outside the US.”

Me: “We don’t. We use Euros here.”

Customer: “Since when?”

Me: “Since 2002. Although before that, we used guilders, so your dollars would still be useless.”

Customer: “But they’re Canadian dollars!”

Me: “But this isn’t Canada.”

(At this point, I take a second look at the magazines he’s trying to buy.)

Me: ” Excuse me, but do you speak Dutch?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then why are you buying Dutch magazines?”

Customer: “I thought they’d be in English.”

Me: “Because they speak English in Canada?”

Customer: *blushing* “Yeah.”

Twilight Vs Holy Light

| Chicago, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, Religion, Top

(A young woman, about 20 years old, comes up to the counter holding a copy of The Bible.)

Me: “Hi, did you find everything you needed today?”

Customer: “Yeah, hey, can you tell me what this is about?”

Me: “The Bible?”

Customer: “Yeah, what’s it about?”

Me: “The Bible has two parts, the Old Testament which is scriptures and the New Testament, which contains the story of Jesus’ life and works as told through the gospels, written by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.”

Customer: “Huh. Is it any good?”

Me: “It’s pretty popular.”

Customer: “Nah, I’ll just get this one instead.” *puts a copy of Twilight on the counter*

Being The President Sucks

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Books & Reading, History, Politics

Customer: “Do you have a copy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

Me: “I’m not sure, let me check.” *I check our bestsellers section* “No sir, not at this time.”

Customer: “But did you look back in the history section?”

Me: “For Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “No, I did not.”