Not An Award-Winning Business Plan

| Finland | Working | December 22, 2016

(My dad usually leaves Christmas shopping till the last minute, and this year is no exception. I’m home cleaning when my dad calls me from the bookstore.)

Dad: “I didn’t find [a book about a very popular tv show] or [this year’s national literature award winner] for Mom. Do you have any idea what else she could want?”

Me: “I can’t come up with anything on short notice. Seriously, they have none of the [award winner]? That should sell a lot, especially before Christmas, so I can’t imagine them not having it. Have you asked for help? Maybe you just missed it?”

Dad: “I haven’t asked. I guess I’ll do it.”

(Later, Dad comes home.)

Me: “Did you get something for Mom?”

Dad: “Yeah, but I’m not really happy with it.”

Me: “Why? You didn’t get what you were looking for?”

Dad: “I didn’t. I asked. After [award winner] sold out, they have ordered some. For people who ask them to order it. No extras to put on the shelf. Of a book that is so popular that it sold out. Before Christmas.”

(I’m a bit curious about the business plan of this bookstore.)

No Point Moping About The Mopping

| GA, USA | Working | December 10, 2016

(I have returned to work after a minor surgery and my boss has returned to work after a week off of work due to chronic pain and other health issues. A customer had just spilled a soft drink all over the floor and I have brought the mop out.)

Boss: *reaching for the mop handle* “Give me this. You should go sit down.”

Me: *pulling the handle away from her* “No, ma’am. You go back to your office.”

Boss: “I said give! You are still recovering and have no business mopping.”

Me: “Let go and go back to your office! I’ve got this.”

Boss: “Young lady, I am 67 years old and you will do what I say.”

Me: “Well, I’m 32 and I am going to mop. I’m not going to risk you falling. Go sit down.”

Coworker: “Will you two stop? I’m 27. Give me the d*** mop.”

(My boss and I realized sheepishly that we have been yelling and playing tug of war with the mop in front of customers. We handed the mop to my coworker and departed to our offices.)

It’s Humorous How Common This Request Is

| WA, USA | Right | December 6, 2016

Customer: “Excuse me; I need to look up a book?”

Me: “Sure, what is the title?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. I saw two girls looking at a book on the bus and they were smiling and laughing at what they were reading so I thought I might enjoy it.”

Me: “Erm, okay. Can you tell me anything else about it?”

Customer: “Uh… I didn’t get a very good look at it. Can’t you just do a search for books that are funny?”

Me: “Well… that’d apply to almost any book in our humor section… and given who’s reading it, possibly quite a few books beyond that.” *I make a gesture of sweeping my hands out to indicate most of the store could fit that description*

Customer: “What? Well… I didn’t think it’d be that hard for you to look up a single book!”

Me: “I promise you I will do everything I can to help you find what you’re looking for, but I need some more information to go on.”

Customer: “Well… the cover might have been white? Or grey? It was hard to tell from where I was sitting.”

(A pause goes by.)

Me: “Okay… anything else?”

Customer: “There… were black words on the cover? Again I didn’t get a good look at it! Isn’t this supposed to be your job?”

(I look at my computer screen, and then notice something right underneath the counter. There’s a stack of new books we just had delivered, one of which happens to fit this very vague description.)

Me: “What about this one?”

Customer: “Well, how do I know this is the right book? There’s little men on the cover!”

Me: “You said the cover was white, with black letters, yes? Do you remember anything else about the book?”

Customer: “I just said I didn’t get a good look at it!”

Me: “Then how do you know that ISN’T the right book?”

Customer: “Uh… well… erm… I don’t, but…  Wait, how do I know it’ll make me laugh like those two girls on the bus?”

Me: “It’s a satire novel, ma’am. Those do tend to make folks laugh. Again, unless you can give me any other information, what proof do you have that is NOT the right book?”

Customer: “Uh… um… I guess I don’t? Well, I’ll give it a try, but I’m still not sure. You’re the one who’s meant to know these things!”

(She purchased the book and never came back.)

The Upstairs Does Not Register

| NY, USA | Right | November 9, 2016

Customer: “Can I pay for this here?”

Employee: “No, you check out downstairs.”

Customer: *looks terrified* “Is… is this not a bookstore? Can I not buy this?”

Employee: “You can buy it… The registers are downstairs, though.”

Black Books Matter

| ON, Canada | Right | November 5, 2016

Supervisor: “[Bookstore], this is [Supervisor]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m hoping you can put a book on hold for me.”

Supervisor: “Sure! What’s the title?”

Customer:To Kill A Mockingbird. With all this Black Lives Matter crap going on, I need to teach my daughter how to be more tolerant of it and I figure this book will help.”

Supervisor: “Oh… kay. Sure. I’ll put that aside for you. Have a good day.”

(As she puts the books aside for the woman, she turns to me with her eyes wide, and relays the conversation to me.)

Supervisor: “How… is that book going to help her? I… feel like her daughter isn’t the one that needs a bit of a lesson on tolerance.”

Me: *noticing ‘Charlotte’s Web’ is also a part of this woman’s pile* “Maybe this one will teach her daughter how to be more tolerant of pigs such as her?”

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