She Wasn’t Everyone’s Cup Of Tea

| England, UK | Working | April 4, 2017

(My local bookstore has a cafe inside it. They have a policy that if you bring your own cup, you get 10% off and a stamp, which gets you a free drink for every 10.)

Me: “A large black coffee, please.”

(I hand over my own cup and she takes it. She stands there for a moment staring at it confused, but shrugs and gets my drink ready. It takes a little longer than expected, but I just assume they have been cleaning the machine.)

Cashier: *looking miffed* “That’s [full price], please.”

Me: “But I gave you my cup. It should be 10% off.”

Cashier: *huffs* “10%! But I was the one who cleaned it. If anything we should be charging you extra!”

Me: “Extra? What are you—”

(She slides my cup forward, and my coffee in a separate cup on its own.)

Me: “I think there’s been a misunderstanding. The [offer]?”

(She shrugs, turns around, and flat out ignores me. Bear in mind I actually haven’t paid yet. I don’t know to do so I just take my own cup, leaving the coffee, and leave the store altogether. Today was the first time I have been in in over a month. When I didn’t see the woman I decided to ask the owner, who was working the register.)

Owner: “Her…” *shivers*

(I don’t think it ended well for her.)

The Difference Between Hard And Soft Reading Habits

| Dallas, TX, USA | Right | March 22, 2017

(I work at a bookstore where we regularly receive phone calls at the information desk for books to be put on hold. We usually ask for the title and go locate whatever copies we have and then call the customer back. This teenage-sounding boy has asked for a book that’s on many high school reading lists and I have gone and gotten the hardback and paperback versions and am calling back to see which he would prefer:)

Me: “Hi, [Customer], this is [My Name] calling you back from [Store]. I was able to locate a hardback and paperback of Lord of the Flies and was wondering which you would like to be put on hold?”

Customer: “How much are they?”

Me: “The paperback is only 1.50 but the larger hardback, which would leave you more room to write in, if this is for a class, is 5.00.”

Customer: “And when you say paperback, what do you mean?”

Me: “Um… it has a paper cover rather than a hard one and is a smaller version of the book.”

Customer: “So, like, it doesn’t have an actual cover?”

Me: “No, it does. It just happens to be a paper cover rather than a hardback.”

Customer: “So, is it like plastic?”

(This goes on for quite a while, while I attempt to come up with different ways to describe a paperback, which is harder to do than you think. Finally he says—)

Customer: “Okay, just forget it. Thank you.”

Me: “Okay. Well, I mean, the paperback is only 1.50.”

Customer: “I’m just not getting what you’re trying to tell me.”

Me: “How about I just put them both on hold and you can come look yourself?”

Customer: “Great!” *hangs up*

(I wish I could have been there when he saw what we were debating over.)

Don’t Appreciate The Lack Of Appreciation

| Randers, Denmark | Right | March 11, 2017

(After spending nearly 20 minutes summarizing the plot of various crime novels from memory, because the customer doesn’t want to read the back covers, I finally convince her to choose a book to purchase.)

Customer: “If I don’t like it, I’m coming back here to yell at you!”

Me: *confused, but using my cheery work voice* “Well, if you do like it, I hope you come back and let me know!”

Customer: “Why would I do that?”

(Apparently being mean is worth the trip, but being appreciative isn’t.)

Now Sauron Knows!

| UK | Right | March 2, 2017

(A customer calls the store.)

Customer: “Hello. I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “Great! Could I ask what it is you’re looking for, please?”

(The woman gives an incredibly vague description of the book which can be summed up as “having a black cover at some point during its publication, and it may or may not be fiction.”)

Me: “If you could be a little more specific, miss, I may be able to help.”

Customer: “I can’t tell you the name of the book because then you’ll know why I want it, and you aren’t allowed to know.”

Me: *thinking this sounded quite odd* “I’m not in the slightest bit interested in why you want the book. I’m only interested in what it is called.”

Customer: “THEN YOU’LL KNOW!”

(This goes around in circles for a couple minutes, with the customer sounding more irate, and me losing my patience.)

Me: “Miss, I honestly cannot help you if you cannot provide more details on the book you’re enquiring about. Your description covers literally thousands of titles.”

Customer: “Thousands?!”

Me: “Yes. If you cannot offer anything else, then there is little point in continuing and I’ll will have to hang up.”

Customer: “It’s… it’s called…The Hobbit.”

(I already know we have it in stock, as I put it out on the shelves that morning. Before I can respond however:)

Customer: “You see?! Now you know! I’m going to have to look elsewhere now. THANKS FOR NOTHING!” *hangs up*

Me: *staring at the receiver* “What the f***?”

Should Have Looked In The Phone/Book

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Right | February 16, 2017

(I work at a large chain book retailer. We sell product online as well as in our stores.)

Customer: “Where is your customer service desk?”

Me: “The cash desk? It’s just behind you.”

Customer: “No, your customer service desk. I need to order a book.”

Me: “We don’t have a customer service desk, but I can help you find a book or order one if we don’t have it in stock. I will just take you over to one of our customer use computers.”

(I lead him over to one of the many computers on the sales floor.)

Customer: “Oh, you just order off [Large Online Competitor]?”

Me: “No, sir, our online orders are though [Company Website].”

Customer: “Not [Large Online Competitor]?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Are you sure it’s not through [Large Online Competitor]?”

Me: “No, sir. [Large Online Competitor] is our competitor and not affiliated with us.”

Customer: “Oh, so, do you sell electronics?”

Me: “Yes, we sell a few small electronics such as e-readers.”

Customer: “Do you sell cell phones?”

Me: “No, we do not.”

Customer: “Not even on your website?”

Me: “No, sir. Just e-readers.”

Customer: “But how do you know for sure?”

Me: “Sir, we are a book retailer. I can guarantee we do not sell cell phones.”

Customer: “Oh, so you’re not [Large Online Competitor]?”

Me: “No. This is [Company].”

Customer: “Oh, okay. I guess I’ll go home and order from [Large Online Competitor].”

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