The Computer Lies!

, , , | Right | December 28, 2018

(Three days after Christmas, I’m re-shelving some of the multitudes of returns we got in that afternoon when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Can you help me? I’m looking for the massage and reflexology section in health and well-being.”

(A customer knowing the subsection is a minor miracle and a pleasant surprise.)

Me: “Sure! Right this way. It’s a little small, so it’s just this half-shelf at the bottom here. Let me know if you need a hand with anything else!”

Customer: “Actually, this is the title I’m looking for; I didn’t see it here.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll just go check on the kiosk to make sure we have some in stock, and if they might be in a different spot.”

Customer: “Oh, I looked it up on the computer already; it said you didn’t have any.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Then we don’t have any in the store right now.”

(I offered to help the customer put in a kiosk order, but the customer walked away from me.)

A Time For Giving You Grief

, , , , , , | Right | December 25, 2018

(I am working in a bookstore for the holidays. We’ve gotten our shipment of individual and boxed Christmas cards. A man comes up and hands me a card to purchase and an envelope.)

Me: “I’m having trouble finding the barcode on this card, sir.”

Customer: “Well, I want to buy it.”

Me: “Well, without that barcode, you can’t buy it. This doesn’t even look like any of the brands that sell individual cards. Where did you find it?”

(He walks over to one of the display tables and brings back a boxed set of cards. It has clearly been ripped open.)

Me: “Sir, you can’t do that. These cards are made to sell as a group. And the total for this box of cards is…” *beep of scanner* “[Total].”

Customer: “Well, I only want one, so just charge me for one.”

Me: “I can’t do that. We have an entire section of individually sold cards right over there. If you only want one, you’ll have to pick one of them.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t like any of them. I want one of these, and I don’t want to buy the whole box when I only want one!”

Me: *fed up* “Sir, you have two choices: buy the whole box or pick an individual card from over there. We literally cannot charge you for one card out of a boxed set.”


(He storms off and I bite my tongue against the urge to say, “But you’re not IN your country right now, are you?” Instead, I sigh wearily and go back to ringing up customers. Just a few minutes later, two managers come over with a coworker, who takes over at another register as the two managers have me go into the back. Now I’m upset. As soon as the door closes behind us, [Manager #1] turns to me.)

Manager #1: “It’s okay, [My Name]. You’re not in trouble. Some guy complained to us that you wouldn’t let him rip apart a box of cards for one.”

Manager #2: “He actually demanded that we give you a public dressing down for your ‘bad customer service.'”

(I look at them both, horrified.)

Manager #1: “Obviously we’re not going to do something like that, even if you had done something wrong. He was going on and on about ‘in his country’ this and ‘in his country’ that and how we needed to fire you for such poor behavior. He’s not in his country now and that’s not how we do things here. Sooo we’re going to give you your fifteen-minute break about half an hour early today.”

Manager #2: “[Manager #3] is explaining that he has two choices and none of them involve buying the card individually from the box. He should be gone by the time your break is over, but if he approaches you again, call us. This is the ‘talk’ we told him we’d give you, and he has no further say in the matter.”

(Fortunately, Mr. In-My-Country was gone by the time my break was over.)

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 12

, , , , , | Right | December 25, 2018

(It’s currently November, which means we’re now starting to sell Christmas products, including a small fake Christmas tree and ornaments. A coworker and I are working at the cash registers when I overhear my coworker speaking with the person she is helping. The customer has brought up a small Christmas tree and a couple of ornaments.)

Customer: “So, since I’m buying these, I can get 50% off?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I’m buying the tree and the ornaments together, so I get 50% off.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t work like that. I can give you 25% off since we are having a promotion where if you spend $50 or more you get 25% off your purchase, and these products definitely put you over $50.”

Customer: “But I’m buying these together, so I should get 50% off.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I just can’t give you 50% off; that’s not how it works.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous!” *stomps off, leaving everything behind*

Me: “Did she just demand 50% off her purchase for no reason?”

Coworker: “I don’t even know where she’s pulling that number from; as far as I can tell she’s just making it up.”

Me: “If she was just going to make up a discount she liked, why didn’t she just go for broke and go 100% off?”

(Throughout the rest of the shift, I kept bugging her, asking my coworker for 50% off of stuff, and just asking her if I can just take stuff home for free.)

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 11
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 10
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 9

Unfiltered Story #134141

, , | Unfiltered | December 23, 2018

(While we maintain a rather impressive selection of sale books, that does not stop customers from attempting to haggle better prices for our products. One day, an older couple and one of their friends come into the store.)

Man: “Excuse me. You carry [Expensive Film Book]?”

Me: “It looks like we do. Let me show you where it is.”

(I take the customers over to the film section and show them the book.)

Man: “Yes, how much is it?”

Me: “Forty-five dollars, sir.”

Man: *to woman* “It’s forty-five dollars.” *to me* “No discount?”

Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry.”

(The couple and their friend leave, but a few months later, they return, and they ask for the same book. Thinking that they have decided to buy it despite the higher price, I take them back to the film section, only to go through a time-warp.)

Man: “And how much is the book?”

Me: “Forty-five dollars, sir.”

Man: *to woman* “Forty-five dollars.” *to me* “No discount?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “No, sir, I’m sorry. Still no discount.”

(I have not seen them since, but I wonder if they’ve pulled this stunt with any of my coworkers!)

A Comic Misunderstanding

, , , , , | Friendly | December 13, 2018

(I’m the stupid one in this story. I’m on vacation, and my wife and kids are looking in a bookstore while I run off to an ATM. When I come back, I see my daughter, age seven, looking through a cardboard box of comic books. Immediately my attention is focused completely on the book she’s about to open; it’s very racy and not appropriate for a seven-year-old.)

Me: “You know what? That one’s not really for kids. Let’s look for a different one.”

(I take the comic and put it back into the box before she can open it. Suddenly my wife appears at the end of the aisle, having overheard, and looks at me, horrified.)

Wife: “[My Name]! Why are you reprimanding someone else’s child?”

(I had been so focused on the comic book that I didn’t even see that the girl holding it — though she was the same height as my daughter — was not my daughter at all! That’s when I turned around and saw the girl’s actual father, to whom I apologized profusely. He must have been confused when a stranger entered the store and started criticizing his daughter’s choice of comic books!)

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