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Returner Burner, Part 3

| Austin, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading

(I work for the largest national book store in the US. I get this phone call.)

Customer: “Hi. I ordered a book off y’all’s website and was wondering if I could return it to the store?”

Me: “I’d be happy to check that out for you, ma’am. What was the name of the book?”

(She tells me and I look it up. The information tells me it is non-returnable, but I tell her I’ll check with a manager to be sure. Manager confirms my concern.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that item is non-returnable though the stores. If you wish to return it, you will have to ship it back. There should be a return label in the box and I’d be happy to walk you through it.”

Customer: “See, this is why I usually order from [the largest distributer of online goods and my employer’s biggest rival], you little b****.”

Me: *taken aback* “Whoa! But ma’am, if you bought it from [previously mentioned company] and wanted you to return it, you’d have to ship it back, too.”

(She hung up on me.)

Related:
Returner Burner, Part 2
Returner Burner

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Not Quite Married To The Reading Material

| Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I’m a female bookstore employee in my mid 20s. While walking through the store, a customer approaches me and asks for help finding a book for her 15-year-old son. After discussing a couple titles, I am able to recommend a book for her. Afterwards, she tries to strike up a conversation…)

Customer: “You know, I just don’t understand why he doesn’t read anymore. He used to love to read, now he says he hates it.”

Me: “Well, you know, when I was about that age, I stopped enjoying reading so much because I didn’t like the assigned reading. I didn’t like being told what to read. Maybe that’s what he thinks, too?”

Customer: “Oh, I see… and are you still like that? Do you still have that independent streak?”

Me: “Uh… well… Now that I work in a bookstore, I can—”

Customer: “No, I mean in your personal life.”

Me: *stammering* “Um… I guess? Sort of?”

Customer: “Oh, dear, no. That’s not good marriage material. You can’t be like that, you know…” *winks and nudges me, chuckling*

Me: *stunned, muttering* “Well, good thing that’s not in my life plan to begin with… Enjoy your book!”

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A Used-less Philosophy

| Waltham, MA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(I work in a used book store.)

Customer: “Do you have new books?”

Me: “Well, we sell mostly used books, but we have a small selection of new books here.”

Customer: “I always forget this is a used book store. I NEVER read a book someone else has read. I was a librarian and I wouldn’t even let my children check out books.”

Me: “…”