This Is A Bad Sign, Part 2

| ON, Canada | Right | June 10, 2013

(We have signs all over the store advertising 30% off hard cover books in huge letters. A customer approaches, holding a paperback.)

Customer: “So, this is 30% off?”

Me: “No, sorry it’s only the hardcovers that are on sale, as the sign says.”

Customer: “Well, that’s very misleading.”

Me: “Sorry? Why is that sign misleading?”

Customer: “Well, it’s misleading because I didn’t read the sign properly.”

This Is A Bad Sign

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Hair (Not-So) Apparent

| York, SC, USA | Working | June 7, 2013

(Note: I am a 28-year-old blonde girl.)

Cashier: “Can I help you, missy?”

Me: “Urm, can I get a book on the 1700s?”

Cashier: “Yes, it’s past the stairs. Now, stairs are what an elevator is, but you have to use your legs.”

Me: “I know what they are. Please stop doing that.”

Cashier: “Now, the books are on a shelf, with 18th Century written on it.”

Me: *giving up* “Just show me.”

Cashier: “Right there!”

(He points, but as I leave he mutters…)

Cashier: “…Bimbo.”

(I turn around, furious.)

Me: “Now listen to me, mister! I know I’m blonde but that doesn’t mean I don’t have brains! In fact, I work at [chain of shops] as a manager. I also graduated five years ago with a degree. So, stop being so bigoted and actually show me the books!”

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Parodies Will Take Their Tolstoy On You

| North Bay, ON, Canada | Working | June 6, 2013

Employee: “Can I help you find anything?”

Me: “Nope, I’m good.” *holds up “Anna Karenina”* “Thanks, though.”

Employee: “Are you sure you don’t want this?” *points to “Android Karenina”* “It’s supposed to be much better.”

Me: “Uh, no, thanks… I’ll stick to the original.”

Employee: “What about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies?”

Me: “No, thank you. I came in to pick up Anna Karenina, I now have Anna Karenina in my hand, so I’m all set.”

Employee:Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter?”

Me: “No…”

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Reading Too Much Into It

| Boston, MA, USA | Learning | June 6, 2013

(At an event for a popular but literary author, I take a seat behind two women who appear to be in their early 20s; they are discussing how their professor is giving extra credit to students who attend this event. In the Q&A part, one of them raises her hand.)

College Student: “Our professor told us that [character]’s room being blue is a symbol of his loneliness and isolation. Is that what you meant?”

Author: “No. I just like blue. You can tell your professor they’re full of s***.”

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Not A Hobbitual Reader

| Mount Pleasant, MI, USA | Right | June 4, 2013

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for Tolkien’s books.”

Me: “Alright, which ones?”

Customer: “The four he wrote.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, he wrote more than just four books.”

Customer:The Lord of the Rings.”

Me: “Ma’am, not to be rude, but The Lord of the Rings is only three books.”

Customer: “The first one of that trilogy then! The Hobbit!”

Me: “I’m afraid we don’t have any copies of that at the moment.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, do you have anything else by Tolkien?”

Me: “Well, we do have The Silmarillion—”

Customer: “I don’t speak Spanish. I guess I’ll try at one of the other stores, thanks.”

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