About To Get Himself Booked

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Right | February 26, 2014

(We WERE a specialty bookstore but have gone the way of many others and are liquidating stock, with the only thing not discounted being rare or signed editions in a locked glass cabinet. Whilst most books are massively discounted, we also have a basket of books with minor shelf damage with a sign that states they are damaged and therefore customers are welcome to take a free one with any purchase. A customer approaches with a handful of them.)

Customer: “I’d like a discount on these. They’re damaged.”

Me: “Well, everything’s pretty much discounted. It doesn’t get much cheaper than $1 a book. Even so, they’re free if you purchase another item.”

Customer: “So, all the damaged books are free?”

Me: “Yes, if you purchase another book with them.”

Customer: “I’ll be right back.”

(He leaves his stack on the counter and I help other customers when I notice a cracking sound. He triumphantly returns to the counter, shoving other customers out of the way saying he was there first. I look over his shoulder to see he’s broken the latch on the rare book display to force it open as he slams a leather bound book signed by Neil Gaiman AND Terry Pratchett on the counter, cracking the hardcover.)

Customer: “All the damaged books are free, right?”

(You really don’t want to know what some of the other customers did…)

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Worst Service Since Time Memoria

| Essex, CT, USA | Working | February 10, 2014

(I am working at a bookstore when I see my coworker holding a phone near her ear.)

Coworker: “F***! Why can’t you people get it into your heads? You’re incompetent! We DO NOT SELL CDs!”

(She slams the phone down hard.)

Me: “What was that?”

Coworker: “These groups of morons want to buy ‘How to Reach Nirvana,’ or something like that.”

Good Customer Service Is A Balancing Act

| Greensboro, NC, USA | Right | January 31, 2014

(Our store has a special sale going on. We have a nicely dressed sale table with a tablecloth and the items laid out on it. Customer #1 is approaching the counter. I am folding shirts at an adjacent table while my coworker rings up Customer #2, who has a young baby on her shoulder. We have seen her feeding her baby with a bottle while browsing the store. As they’re checking out, the baby suddenly starts spitting up. It miraculously doesn’t land on the mother’s clothing at all. However, it does go all over the floor, down the side of the tablecloth and gets on at least five DVDs and about ten books. It narrowly misses Customer #1.)

Customer #2: *spins around, takes in the mess, and hurries out the door*

(My coworker, Customer #1, and I stare at each other and the table in shock.)

Customer #1: “The nerve of some people. That’s disgusting!”

(I’m so flabbergasted that I can’t help but laugh.)

Me: “Well, guess I should clean that up then.”

Customer #1: “Do you want some help?”

Me: “No, it’s fine. Guess all that babysitting finally comes in handy here!”

Customer #1: “Are you sure, dear? That was so incredibly rude. I couldn’t imagine making you do it all.”

Me: “It’s fine. I’m just glad it didn’t get on you! Just let [Coworker] ring you up. I’ll be fine.”

(Customer #1 continues to apologize for Customer #2 and to offer to help. I remove the damaged items and shift things around so I can take off the tablecloth. Once she leaves, my coworker mops the floor for me.)

Coworker: “Well, at least she kind of balanced out the other one!”

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Needs To Return Up The River

| IN, USA | Right | January 31, 2014

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to exchange this book for this other one, please.”

Me: “I’m happy to help. Was there a problem with the book you’re returning?”

Customer: “No. It just wasn’t the right one.”

Me: “All right. Do you have your receipt?”

Customer: “No. I bought it online.”

Me: “Oh, I see. May I have your name, please?”

(The customer tells me her name and I pull up our store’s order records on the computer.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t see anything on our records under your name. Did you order the book on someone else’s account, perhaps?”

Customer: “No. I definitely ordered it myself.”

Me: “Hmm…”

(I try everything I can think of to find a record of the transaction. After about five minutes of fruitless searching, the customer pipes up.)

Customer: “Does it make a difference that I ordered it on Amazon?”

Me: “…I’m sorry. What?”

Customer: “I bought this on Amazon. I was kinda hoping you could just take this one that I got and give me this book off your shelves.”

Me: “…No, ma’am. It doesn’t work like that.”

Customer: “Why not? I come in with a book, I leave with a book. You lose a book and gain a book. It all works out in the end.”

Me: “Ma’am, you have to actually buy a book from us to return it to us.”

Customer: “Oh, really?”

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Refunder Blunder, Part 4

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Working | January 31, 2014

(On a whim I buy a DVD box set from a bookstore I frequent, both for work and personal items. I only have it for about 24 hours and I haven’t opened it. As luck would have it I find it online for less than half of what I paid for it. Seeing as it isn’t opened, and I have the receipt, I opt to return it to the store. The store has two entrances, I use the one closest to the parking garage as opposed to the one closest to the street. It’s closer to the registers and I’m only returning an item. I have to walk through security sensors near the registers to even get in the store.)

Me: “Hi. I’d like to return this. I have my receipt right here.”

(The cashier doesn’t even acknowledge me or give any indication she heard me. She swipes the box set back across the demagnetizer and scans it.)

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think you heard me. I’m actually returning that item. I have my receipt right here.”

Cashier: “Oh, okay. Sorry about that. Let me just scan it again.”

(She does, and of course it comes up as magnetized.)

Cashier: “Um, this is coming up magnetized. Are you sure you’re returning this?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I have the receipt right here.”

Cashier: “Well, it’s coming up magnetized, so I don’t believe you.”

Me: “I’m holding the receipt. I just walked through that door, some five feet away, and I didn’t set off the scanners when I walked in, so…”

Cashier: ‘We’ll just try it through the door now.”

(She takes the DVD set and walks up to the doors. Sure enough, the alarm goes off.)

Cashier: “See? The sensor went off. Are you sure you didn’t just walk back there, pick it up, and are using an old receipt?”

Me: “With all due respect, I just walked in with the item, and it didn’t set off the door when I came in. You quickly grabbed it out of my hand and you re-magnetized it when you tried to scan it the first time.”

Cashier: “I don’t believe you. People do that all the time. They buy something and then pretend to return a copy from the store later on.”

Me: “I came through this door here, nowhere near the DVDs. The receipt is only a day old. Why would I steal from a store I frequent? I’m in here at least twice a week. I should be somewhat recognizable. This is a brand new boxed set that was released this week. Your store is keeping it under the cabinet and I would have had to ask for it. So if you can find the person who supposedly did that for me today, then go ahead.”

Cashier: “What are you returning it for, anyway? You probably copied all the files to your computer and are trying to scam us!”

Me: “It’s still shrink wrapped. I have not opened it. Not that it should matter why I’m returning it, seeing as I have an unopened package and a receipt, but I found it much cheaper online and decided to save a few bucks.”

Cashier: “So, you’re telling me you bought this online and are trying to return it here?”

Me: “No. That’s not what I said at all.”

Cashier: “If you ordered it online I cannot let you return this here. Although if you got this here today, like I think you did, I can’t let you return it anyway. So you can just leave now.”

Me: “With this box set?”

Cashier: “Yes. I can’t let you return something you didn’t buy here. If you didn’t want it you can just give it to someone as a gift or something.”

Me: “Wait. First you accuse of me of stealing this item, which you say you cannot return because you’ve decided I’ve picked it up here today. Then you accuse me of buying this item online for cheaper, and trying to return it here for more money, even though I have a receipt proving I bought this item here, and you won’t return it either. Now, after all that, you’re just going to let me walk out of here with an item you think is stolen, because I can’t return it?”

Cashier: “That’s right. You can’t return it. Take it and leave!”

Me: “You do realize that if I had actually stolen the item you’d be letting me walk out the door with almost $100 worth of merchandise? Which I cannot return because you didn’t do your job correctly in the first place?”

Cashier: “Oh! You’re right. I can’t let you take that at all. That would be stealing! I’m calling security.”

Me: “I’ve got nowhere to be. You do that. In fact, why don’t you ask them to pull up the security tapes from the door as well. Why don’t you call up someone from the DVD department to ask it they served me today. And while we’re at it, ask security to pull up the tapes from yesterday, because you’ll see me right here paying for this item.”

Cashier: “I’m not going to do all that, and I’m not going to let you return this item.”

Me: “Well, then. I’d like to speak to your manager.”

Cashier: “Ugh. Fine.”

(The manager comes up a few minutes later.)

Manager: “Hi. What’s going on?”

(I hand over my receipt and the unopened package, and tell the manager the story.)

Manager: “[Cashier], why won’t you let her return this?”

Cashier: “She told me she bought it online. I can’t let her return something you she didn’t buy here!”

Me: “No. First you accused me of stealing the item and trying to return something I didn’t pay for.”

Cashier: “What about the magnet strip?”

Manager: “Did you run it across the scanner before you talked to her?”

Cashier: “Well, yes, because she was buying it!”

Me: “I was never buying it today. I was returning it. I didn’t set off the doors when I walked in.”

Cashier: “She could have come in the front doors, picked it up, and came up here!”

Manager: *scans my rewards card for the store* “You’re in here all the time aren’t you? Looks like you’ve made a lot of purchases here.”

Me: “Yup. I pick up books and DVDs for work, a TV show I work for. We spend a lot of money in this store and I’m sure you can look up how often I don’t return stuff.”

Manager: “That’s probably true. Would you mind if I had tapes pulled? I know it’s probably inconvenient for you to wait.”

Me: “Sure, go ahead. I’ve got nothing to hide.”

Manager: “You know what? I believe you. If you were lying, which I suspect you’re not because you’re in here all the time, you’d probably have put up more of a fight.”

Me: “Thank you. I appreciate that. Now, can I please return this item?”

Manager: “Sure. [Cashier], will you take care of this for me?”

Cashier: “But she told me she bought it online! I’m not going to return it. I don’t need that on my record! You do it!”

(Despite the cashier’s protests, I eventually make the return, and take both copies of my receipt just in case!)

Related:
From NotAlwaysRight
Refunder Blunder, Part 3
Refunder Blunder, Part 2
Refunder Blunder

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