(Our store is in a shopping mall, so we don’t have public restrooms like most of our chain locations. Since the mall has restrooms conveniently located across the hall, we usually don’t have any problems. This day, a customer runs into our store holding her three-year-old son’s hand.)
Customer: “Where’s your bathroom?”
Me: “We actually don’t have one, but there’s one right over—”
Customer: “What do you mean you don’t have a bathroom? My son needs to go immediately!”
Me: “There’s a public restroom right across the hall over there.”
Customer: “I don’t have time to get him over there! I need you to let us use yours!”
Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that. But really, the restroom is right across the hall—”
Customer: “MY SON IS ABOUT TO PEE HIS PANTS! He’s still being potty trained and can’t hold it for very long!”
(To my surprise, another customer who has overheard the conversation speaks in our defense.)
Another Customer: “Are you crazy, lady? There’s a bathroom not thirty feet away! You’re going to let your poor son wet himself so you can argue with this man? You should be ashamed of yourself!”
(I’ve been called to our store’s cafe to deal with a customer demanding a free drink.)
Me: “Hi, what seems to be the problem?”
Customer: “I got the wrong drink yesterday, so I told the barista that they need to give me a free drink to make up for it.”
Me: “I’m sorry…you got the wrong drink yesterday?”
Customer: “Yes! I come here every day to study and get the same drink! Yesterday, they gave me some disgusting sludge. I had to drink the whole thing! What are you going to do to make it right?!”
Me: “You drank the whole thing, even though you thought it was disgusting and you were still in the store?”
Customer: “That’s not the point! They gave me the wrong drink. You need to make it up to me.”
Me: “Why didn’t you tell the barista that you were given the wrong drink yesterday? We would have happily gotten you the correct drink.”
Customer: “I didn’t realize I had the wrong drink until I sat down. What was I supposed to do, get up and walk all the way over to the counter?!”
Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a cookbook by a famous chef. He’s on TV. His name is Bobby Fray.”
Me: “Oh, sure…you mean Bobby Flay. Let me—”
Customer: “No, no, NO! I said Bobby FRAY. That’s F-R-A-Y. Fray!”
Me: “Okay, just follow me over to the cookbooks. We’ll take a look and see if we can find what you’re looking for.”
(She follows me to the cookbooks. I pull one of Bobby Flay’s books off the shelf and hand it to her.)
Me: “Is this the author you were looking for?”
Customer: “Yes! See, Bobby Fray—”
(Upon reading “Flay,” she screams in frustration and throws the book on the floor at my feet and storms out.)
The Parent Is Not Always Right: This week, we feature five stories of people who aren’t just bad customers, but bad parents too!
- Bad Parents Bug Us:
A mother and her two “angels” go on an insect-killing spree at a zoo.
- Fruit Is But One Food Group:
There’s nothing sweet about this parent’s approach to nutrition!
- Talking S*** Behind Someone’s Back 101:
A mother teaches her daughter the joys of smack-talk.
- Rounding Down To The Nearest Child:
Signs you have too many kids: you don’t know how many you have!
- Oh Where, Oh Where Have My Role Models Gone:
Nanny nanny boo-boo, mommy acts like a doo-doo!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!
Customer: “Hi, do you have any safety vests?”
Me: “Safety vests?”
Customer: “Yeah. Safety vests.”
Me: “Like the ones that are neon yellow with reflective stripes?”
Customer: “Yes! A safety vest! Are you an idiot?”
Me: “Uhhh, no sir, but we’re a science fiction bookstore. You’d want a hardware store for that kind of thing.”
Customer: “Well, why DON’T you sell them?”
Me: “Because we sell books.”
Customer: “Well, you should!”
Me: “I don’t think many of our customers would normally want a safety vest when they come into a bookstore, sir.”
Customer: “Well, I did!”
Please See The “Time Travel” Section