Golden Years To Make You Feel Golden

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Romantic | January 24, 2017

(I work at a secondhand bookstore and have an older couple come in. After helping them find a few hardcovers, the man mentions that they have been together for over 42 years.)

Wife: *declaring proudly* “42 and a half.”

(I ring them up, and because I can’t resist, I ask:)

Me: “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s the key to staying together for so long? It’s lovely to see.”

(Her husband waits, knowing his wife will respond first.)

Wife: “Let’s see… patience.”

Husband: *joking* “Infinite patience. Especially for changing minds.”

Wife: “A sense of humour is most important to me, someone you can laugh with. He’s very quiet, but he tells the best jokes.”

(They look at one another, smiles on their faces.)

Wife: “And there comes a point, too, when you’ve been with someone for a few years, and that point is, ‘Should we stay together? Are you really the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with?’ And it comes down to a choice, you see. To love someone, with all their little quirks and complexities. And I knew I loved him, and I wanted him in my life. And I chose him.”

Husband: *with a smile* “I’ll always choose her.”

(They grabbed their purchases and left me with a warm feeling for the rest of the day. It’s moments like those that can make you believe love actually exists.)

A Deception For The Books

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Right | January 24, 2017

(I am working in the children’s section of my bookstore. A father and his son, about five or six, come in and start browsing the books. I notice the child walk up to his dad with a rather expensive hardcover dinosaur book he had been reading.)

Child: *whispering* “Dad, I accidentally ripped a page in this book.”

(Sure enough, I look over to see a sizeable tear going half way up one page. The father turns his head and we make awkward eye contact where I give him a pained smile. Before I have the chance to say anything, he turns back to his son.)

Dad: “Well, buddy, that’s too bad, and you have to be more careful with things that aren’t yours. I guess we’re taking this home with us now.”

(Not expecting that level of decency, I am pleasantly surprised. The child, however, is not happy about this.)

Child: “What? No, I don’t want this one. I want another one!”

Dad: *shrugs* “Well, I’m sorry, but do you think any other kid is going to want this book now? We damaged it so we have to buy it.”

(The kid throws a bit of a fit but the father calmly repeats that they have to buy the book. They leave the section shortly after. I am really pleased with the father’s attitude, happy that he intends to pay for the book when many other parents would just cut and run. I tell a few coworkers about the customers and the incident lifts my spirits. However, half an hour later another coworker approaches me.)

Coworker: “Here, I just found this book wedged in the corner of my section behind a bunch of stuff.”

(To my dismay it’s the damaged dinosaur book! I guess either the child got his way in the end, or the father’s speech was all a show to fool me. Either way I was extremely unimpressed! We marked the book down to clearance and still no one wanted to buy it, just as the dad predicted!)

The Specific Lengths People Will Go To For Books

| Germany | Right | January 21, 2017

(I overhear this exchange at my local bookstore:)

Customer: “I would like one metre of books, please.”

Saleslady: “Sorry?”

Customer: “I just got a new wall unit for my living room and it has a one metre shelf for books, so I would like to buy enough books to fill it.”

Saleslady: “No problem. What kind of books would you like?”

Customer: “Blue ones.”

Discount Is Not On The Books

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Right | January 18, 2017

(I work at a bookstore that has carts of bargain prices books for $1-3, mostly children and baby books, with the price listed on a big red and white sticker. A customer, with his daughter of about three to four, comes in with two of the books from the cart.)

Customer: “Hi, I’d like these two, please.”

Me: “Sure thing!” *I proceed to ring up the books: one, a small, flimsy story book for beginning readers at $1 and a small baby board book for $3* “Okay, that will be [total].”

Customer: “What?! That’s too much! Why aren’t they both a dollar?!”

Me: “Well, sir, the price is clearly labeled and set by our corporate office.”

Customer: “But this book for $3 is smaller than the $1 book! I want a discount!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t do that. The price on the book is the price. It’s already been discounted over 75% off, and I can’t discount it more.”

Customer: “Well, if you won’t discount it then I will take my business elsewhere!” *to his daughter* “Well, honey, it looks you can’t have these books because THIS man here doesn’t want you to have them!”

(Her face just drops as she looks at me and they leave the store.)

Coworker: *jokingly* “I can’t believe you! Breaking that little girls heart like that! But seriously, what the h***?!”

Retire That Definition

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Right | January 15, 2017

(Our store owner is well-known in the community and has just retired after owning the business for over 50 years. On his last day he had a huge send-off, which was featured in newspapers, TV, etc. A woman phones in a few days later.)

Customer: “Is [Owner] in today?”

Me: *cheerily* “Oh, actually, ma’am, [Owner] retired last week!

Customer: *annoyed sigh* “Well, yes, I KNOW he retired, but I want to know if he’s in the store right now!”

(I guess she and I had different interpretations of ‘retired’!)

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