Improper Cards Are Always More Fun

, , | Right | January 17, 2019

(We have a selection of greeting cards on a small mobile wall, with birthday cards on one side and cards for other occasions on the opposite side. We frequently get people asking whether we carry birthday cards because they see the opposite side of the wall and don’t realize there’s more. This time, however, the customer is already standing in front of the birthday card side and looking at the cards when he calls me over. Also, note that I’ve been having a rough couple of days and am a little out of sorts.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Do you guys carry any proper birthday cards?”

Me: *not honestly sure what he means by “proper” and not quite sure how to respond* “Are these ones… improper?”

Customer: *looks startled, then looks more closely at the cards* “OH! These are birthday cards! No, they’re not improper at all!”

Me: *laughing* “Well, I’m glad to hear that!”

Customer: “I didn’t even realize. Good response, though. I like that! Very clever!”

Me: “Thank you!”

(I’m glad he took it as “clever” rather than rude, because after I said it I was a little worried he would think I was trying to be impertinent. Instead, we both had a bit of a laugh and it made my day when I felt like nothing else was going right. Also, he did find a “proper” birthday card!)

Everything Will Be Starbucks Soon

, , , | Right | January 16, 2019

(I’m a cashier in this story at a bookstore. It’s around 10:00 am on a Saturday. At the back of the store is a Starbucks, but unfortunately, every once in a while people don’t pay attention…)

Me: *noticing the next person in line has no purchases* “Good morning, ma’am, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “One triple shot latte, please.”

Me: “Ma’am… this isn’t Starbucks.”

Customer: *looks up at me, sees there are clearly no coffee machines anywhere* “Oh! I saw the Starbucks logo in the window and just assumed…”

Me: *points to Starbucks*

Customer: *walks away quickly*

Me & Coworker: *bursts out laughing*

(I think she needed a quad shot that day!)

Unfiltered Story #136394

, , | Unfiltered | January 13, 2019

Customer:  I’d like to return this.
Me: Okay, do you have the receipt?
Customer: Yep!
(She proceeds to hand me a receipt from *2007*)
Me: Ummmm…I’m sorry, but the receipt needs to be within the past 14 days.  I won’t be able to take this back.
Customer: Oh okay.
(She was a little dejected, but she left. I commend you, ma’am, not only for holding onto the correct receipt for the past 8 years, but also for not flipping out when it was denied.)

They Don’t Have A Heart, Or Lungs…

, , , | Right | January 11, 2019

(Every year, the bookstore where I work does a book drive at Christmas. The books purchased by customers are donated to a local charity, which changes every year. As I am ringing up one customer:)

Me: “And would you like to purchase a book to donate to the Holiday Book Drive?”

Customer: “Where are the books going?”

Me: “This year, they’re going to the Heart and Lung Unit of [Local Kid’s Hospital].”

Customer: “Oh. No. If it was cancer, I’d donate.”

(Fortunately, the two customers next in line overheard, and both of them purchased several books to donate!)

Explain It To Them Like They’re A Baby

, , , | Right | January 9, 2019

(I work for a small, family-run bookstore. One day I’m working in the store alone when a very elderly lady comes in. I offer to help her and she tells me she’s shopping for a present for a baby. I lead her to the children’s section and leave her to have a look around.)

Customer: *after looking at several books* “What’s the idea with these bits in books?”

Me: “Oh, those are our touch and feel books! They have fur and other textured things in there for children to touch.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Uh… it’s interactive. For babies that can’t read yet.”

Customer: *clearly very confused* “So… They touch it, do they?”

Me: “Yes…”

Customer: “So, babies can’t read?”

Me: “Not normally, no.”

(The customer looked bemused and shuffled out of the shop muttering to herself. I had no idea the concept of touch-and-feel books could be so confusing!)

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