Got To Give Him Credit For Trying

| Allentown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Liars & Scammers, Money

(My husband and I are customers in a fairly long line at the bookstore’s register. A customer ahead of us puts pile of about 10 books on the counter.)

Customer: “I’ll take these.”

(He opens his wallet and pulls out one of those credit card-shaped pieces of tan card stock that has the words ‘CREDIT CARD’ around the edges and comes inside a new wallet to demonstrate where your credit cards would go. Other than the words ‘CREDIT CARD’ around the edges, the card is completely blank. There is no name, card number, card type, etc.)

Customer: “Credit, please.”

(The customer hands the cashier the ‘credit card’.)

Cashier: “Uh…”

Customer: “This is a new card from Citibank. They are switching to paper instead of plastic because it is better for the environment.”

Cashier: “I don’t think—”

Customer: “THIS IS A CARD FROM CITIBANK! I WANT TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER!”

Manager: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to buy these books. Here is my credit card. It is a new card from Citibank; they are switching to paper from plastic to help the environment!”

Manager: *very obviously trying not to laugh* “I… uh… I’m sorry, but only major credit cards are accepted here.”

Customer: “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! YOU JUST LOST YOURSELF A SALE! I AM TAKING MY BUSINESS SOMEWHERE ELSE!”

(The customer takes his ‘credit card’ and storms off.)

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11

| PA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(I’m a regular at a particular location of a major book store chain and know where most of the books are. I usually get something at the cafe and a few books, and make a habit of re-shelving everything myself once I’m done. As I’m re-shelving books one evening, a man approaches me.)

Man: “You. I want to find a book for my wife.”

Man’s Wife: “I just need new tricks or tips on Sudoku.”

Me: “Oh! I love Sudoku. Well, it looks like you’re in the right section. Did you not spot anything you like?”

Man: “Can’t you just look up what she needs for her?”

(I smile and remain generally pleasant, mainly because I think this is funny every time it happens.)

Me: “I don’t actually work here, but if you have the title, sir, just go to the service counter right there. They can find it for you.”

Man: “I just want a book my wife can look at right now. Why can’t you just get it for us?”

Me: “Well… these are books of more puzzles. Um… I don’t actually work here, sir. But if you’re having a hard time finding a suitable book, you can always Google up keywords like ‘sudoku tips’ or ‘solving sudoku’.”

Man: “Yes, but do you have it in a book?”

Me: “Sir, if you would go to the service counter and ask, I’m sure they can find it for you.”

Man: “You! Why can’t you find it!?”

Me: “Sir, I don’t work here. If you go to the counter, an employee could help you look something up in their computer.”

Man: “You’re not going to help us find this book?”

Me: “I wouldn’t be sure where to start, but an employee—”

(An employee that has been walking toward us in the last part of the conversation finally comes up next to me.)

Employee: “I can take over.”

Me: “—can take over from here. Thanks, bye!”

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

A Cursory Attitude To Cursing

| MI, USA | Books & Reading, Language & Words

(A couple walk into my store.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you find anything?”

Woman: “Yes, we’re looking for the book Go the F**k to Sleep.”

Me: “I think I have that right back here.”

Man: “Honey, I think ‘go the F to sleep” is the polite way to say that.”

Me: “No worries. If I’m selling it, I should be able to hear it.

Man: “Touché.”