It Pays To Be Patient, Part 2

| Jackson, WY, USA | At The Checkout, Money

(A customer has just bought three books and has asked me to ship them as gifts. I haven’t done any shipping projects yet, and am unsure of what to charge, so I go downstairs and ask my boss about the price before returning to the customer. Note: A coworker has been standing at the register next to me during this exchange.)

Me: “So, the shipping for those books would be eight dollars for the regular postal service or twelve dollars UPS shipping.”

Customer: “Oh, I want to send them through the regular postal service, but to three separate addresses.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I misunderstood. Let me check with my boss if the prices would be any different, one moment.”

(I go downstairs to speak with my boss again, and come back with new prices.)

Me: “For three separate packages, that would be nine dollars.”

(The customer hands me one dollar.)

Me: “Oh… I’m sorry. That’s nine dollars for the shipping.”

Customer: “But you already took my money!”

Me: “Well, you already paid for the books, but I didn’t take any money for the shipping.”

Customer: “You have a very bad memory, young lady! I gave you ten dollars. You went to the register right there and rung in the money!”

(I look over at the register, which clearly displays the last transaction. It shows his total for the three books he bought.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but the register shows that the last thing I did on it was ring up your books.”

Customer: “Well! You just have a TERRIBLE memory! I already paid you!”

Me: “If you want, I can look on the register and show you the last transactions that were made, but—”

Customer: “CHECK.”

(I go through the old receipts, and of course there is no receipt for any shipping. I ask my coworker if she saw me ring it up, since she’s been watching the entire time, and she says no.)

Me: “Sir, there is no receipt on the register. I promise you I did not take your money for anything but the books.”

Customer: “Well, you certainly took care of any future plans I had to do business here!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

(As we finish his transaction, the customer continues muttering under his breath the entire time. Once I put in his order, he suddenly stops muttering.)

Customer: *grudgingly* “…I’m going to have to apologize for giving you such a hard time, young lady.”

(I look over and see that he’s picked up the pile of objects he’d placed on the table during the transaction and, lo and behold, discovered the ten dollar bill he’d accused me of taking underneath. He left the store as quickly as possible and hasn’t been back since!)

Related:
It Pays To Be Patient

50 Clichés Of Grey

| Darlington, UK | Crazy Requests, Top

Customer: “I want this book banned! It’s offensive and crude!” *slams a copy of 50 Shades of Grey onto the counter*

Employee: “I’m sorry you find it smutty sir, but—”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have a problem with that. It’s just poorly written.”

Employee: “Fair enough, I suppose. You do realise that we can’t just ban books for that?”

Customer: *grins sheepishly* “I know, but it was worth a try.”

It’s Best To Book It

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top

(I’m the merchandising manager of a large bookstore. I see a man looking around for books. He seems quite perplexed, so I try to help him.)

Me: “May I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m having a h*** of a time finding these books on my list.”

Me: “What’s the first book?”

(I help him find half the books on the list, but he seems to be having a hard time reading the list. )

Me: “Maybe you could just give me the list, and I’ll find them for you?”

Customer: “Oh, yes!”

(He hands me a crumpled receipt from my store.)

Me: “So, you want to replace these books you purchased before?”

Customer: “Well, no… I was thinking I could get these books, take them to the front counter with the receipt and get money baaaaaa—” *trails off*

(There’s a bit of deadly silence as the customer realizes that he’s been caught.)

Customer: “I guess that won’t work now, huh?”

Me: “I think you should leave the store, sir. Have a nice day.”

Freed Vibrations

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Rude & Risque

(I am standing in line at a book store. The customer in front of me is getting rung through. She’s about 45, and the cashier is maybe 19.)

Customer: “Have you read these?” *holds up 50 Shades Darker*

Cashier: “Oh… no.”

Customer: “Oh, you MUST! They’re amazing!”

Cashier: “So I hear.”

Customer: *puts the book to her chest* “Oh, they’re just amazing!”

Cashier: “Uh huh.”

(The customer proceeds to go on and on about how sexy and scandalous the books are. The cashier is doing her very best to ignore her and just ring her through.)

Customer: *after paying* “Oh, thank you very much! One more thing: do you know where I can buy some batteries?”

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 11

| FL, USA | Uncategorized

(I am a customer at a bookstore. I’m browsing the teen literature section to see what all the hype is over the Twilight series. A nearby customer sees me paging through one of the books and speaks up excitedly.)

Girl: “I love Twilight!”

Me: “Oh, are you interested in vampire stories?”

Girl: “Absolutely! I love anything to do with vampires! I know about all there is to know about them!”

Me: “You must be a big Bram Stoker fan, then.”

Girl: *quizzical look* “Who is that?”

Me: *puts Twilight down quickly*

Related:
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 10
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

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