Found The ID But Lost The Plot

| VA, USA | Right | October 24, 2014

(In college, I work at the bookstore. Students can use their ID cards to make purchases, and the charges would go on their bill with tuition, room and board, etc. If a student attempted to make a purchase with an ID that had been replaced, I would see an error message, and the student would need to use a different method of payment. This happens as I am finishing a transaction.)

Me: “Your total is [total]. How would you like to pay?”

Student: *hands me ID card*

Me: *gets error message that the ID has been lost/stolen* “I’m sorry, but your ID card has been replaced. I need your new ID to process the sale.”

Student: “No, no, no. This is the new ID. I just got it yesterday.”

Me: “This can’t be the new ID because I’m getting an error message that this card has been reported lost or stolen. That message only comes up after you’ve replaced an ID.”

Student: *puts both hands on counter and leans in* “Do you meant to tell me that I somehow managed to lose my original ID, get it replaced, lose the new ID, and then find my old ID without noticing?!”

Me: “Um, yes?”

Student: *agitated* “How is that even possible?!” *storms out*

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Weather And Heights Don’t Mix On The Heath Cliff

| Somerset, NJ, USA | Working | October 15, 2014

(I’m in line for the customer service desk when this takes place.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a copy of Wuthering Heights.”

Worker: “Okay.” *types on computer* “I do not see that book here.”

Customer: “Really? That’s weird…”

Me: “Excuse me? I think I know the book you’re looking for.”

(The worker had typed ‘weather and heights’ instead of ‘Wuthering Heights.’ I had to spell the title out for her.)

Today You Were Helped By Me, Myself, And I

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Right | October 13, 2014

(I am covering a break in the music department and help a middle-age woman find a CD. Immediately after that I head to the cafe to cover a break there as well, and the same customer comes through to get a drink.)

Customer: “Didn’t I just see you?”

Me: “Nah, that was my twin. We wear the same clothes.”

Customer: “Well, you tell her she was very nice. She helped me find what I wanted.”

Me: *to coworker, after customer leaves* “I’m gonna go to the registers now and see if I can convince her I’m triplets…”

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Speaks Asian And American

| USA | Friendly | October 10, 2014

(I’m Japanese, and I live in a part of town where there aren’t very many other Asians. While I’m browsing in a local bookstore, a random guy approaches me.)

Guy: “Hey, do you speak Asian?”

Me: “…what?”

Guy: “Yeah, do you speak Asian?”

Me: “Um, I feel like I should probably point out the fact that Asian isn’t actually a language.”

Guy: “Oh. Okay.”

(There is a minute-long pause.)

Guy: “So, I’m guessing that’s a no?”

Anna Oprahnina

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Right | October 8, 2014

(I am a book seller in a large book-store chain. A woman is standing in front of the new release table and is looking frustrated.)

Me: “Can I help you, miss?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a new book. Oprah said it just came out. You should keep more new releases in stock! Especially if it’s a book by Oprah!”

Me: “Okay, well, maybe it’s somewhere else in the store. I can check for you. Do you know the title?”

Customer: “It’s called Anna Karenina.”

Me: *pause* “Oh, that should be in our literature section, under Tolstoy.”

Customer: “Why is it not in the new releases? Oprah said it was just published!”

Me: “Well, actually it was written in the 1870s.”

Customer: “No, it wasn’t! Oprah said it was new! Oprah doesn’t lie! She’s Oprah!”

Me: “Okay. Do you want to get the book?”

Customer: “Of course! Oprah said I have to read it. Oprah!”

(My coworkers spent the rest of the day randomly shouting ‘Oprah!’ over the headsets.)

See this story as a comic!

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