Good Morning To Irony

| USA | Language & Words

(I work for a bookstore that publishes a yearly book of children’s stories. The store has these books on display near the cash registrars.)

Customer: *reads the title out loud*Say Good Night to Literacy.”

Me: “Actually, it is ‘illiteracy’. The writing is a little funky, and a lot of people have been reading it as literacy.”

Customer’s Friend: “What does ‘illiteracy’ even mean?”

Customer: “It means you can’t read.”

Random Acts Of Cuddleness

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Top

(I work in a bookstore downtown where there are a lot of homeless people and shelters. One day, a kind of scraggly customer comes up to me.)

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering if you have any cookbooks for soup?”

Me: “Certainly, sir. They’re just over here. We have some pretty good ones that are on sale right now. Over here, though, are our regular priced ones.”

Customer: “I’m volunteering as a cook at a homeless shelter right now. They don’t have much funding, so a lot of the food they get is from donations. I figured soups are healthy and don’t require too much in the way of expensive ingredients, so that should be good for there. I’m a pretty good cook, but I need a refresher on soups.”

(After taking a look at the selection we have, he picks the largest, most expensive soup cookbook we have.)

Customer: “I think I’m going to go with this one. It has a picture for every recipe, which is nice. I like to see nice ways to present them as well. These people haven’t been looked after, so I want to make something that tastes good and looks good too.”

Me: “That’s really fantastic, sir. It’s nice that people are willing to take time out of their day to do things like this. Was there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Actually, a book on sandwiches would be good too…”

(I look in our system and we only have one book for sandwiches at the moment. It takes me a good twenty minutes to find it, but when I do, the customer has picked up a few other things as well. He’s grabbed a simple Sudoku book, a Disney’s Tangled bookmark, and a little toy. I meet him back up at our cash desk.)

Me: “Here you go, sir. Sorry it took so long. It was hiding in our overstock. Find everything else you were looking for?”

Customer: “Yeah. A mother and her 12-year-old daughter just showed up at the shelter I volunteer at the other day. I wanted to pick these up for her. A puzzle book for her and her mother to do and some other things to just take her mind off the situation. It’s difficult enough being homeless, but at that age, it’s horrible.”

Me: “That’s horrible. It’s amazing though that you’re grabbing these for her. I hope it makes her feel a little better.”

(As I’ve been ringing my customer’s items through, my coworker is ringing up another customer. She has overheard our conversation and goes to one of our displays, grabs the softest stuffed animal she can find, and buys that as well. After she’s paid for her purchase, she hands the stuffed animal to my customer.)

Another Customer: “Sir, I overheard your story and I want you to give this to that little girl. Sometimes, young girls just need something to cuddle. I think what you’re doing is amazing and the world could use more people like you.”

Customer: “I… thank you so much, ma’am. This will probably mean the world to her.”

(My customer finishes paying for his items and leaves. My coworker and I were speechless ourselves for a moment. This encounter made our week and brought a tear to our eyes!)

Don’t Count Out The Cost Of Education

| Gainesville, Florida, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I’m the specialist for the children’s books. A customer comes up and asks me to take her to a popular kids’ series, so I do.)

Customer: “Now, my granddaughter has numbers 1 and 2.”

Me: “Great. We have the rest of the series if you’d like to pick up a few more.”

Customer: “But what should I get?” *spreads her hands helplessly* “She has 1 and 2 already, what should I get next?”

Me: “You could get 3.”

(The customer stands there blankly while I point to the book. She doesn’t move or react until I physically pick it up and put it in her hand.)

Customer: “And then… should I go down to 4?”

Asia: It’ll Amaze Ya, Part 2

| Stockport, UK | Geography

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any books on Asia?”

Me: “Are you looking for history of Asia, or travel?”

Customer: “Just books on Asia.”

Me: “Well, we have a few travel books on India, China—”

Customer: “No, I just want a book about Asia. I’m going to Asia.”

Me: “I don’t think we have any travel books on the entirety of Asia. Where are you going specifically?”

Customer: *annoyed* “Asia!”

Me: “Okay, yes, but where in Asia? Turkey? Pakistan? North? South?”

Customer: “Oh, is Turkey near Asia?”

Me: “Um… it’s in Asia. Asia is a continent. It has lots of countries in it. It’s not a country itself.”

Customer: “Wait, you think Asia’s not a country? Asians have got to come from somewhere!”

Me: *gives up* “Ah. Well our travel section is just over here. Give me a shout if there’s anything you need…”

Related:
Asia: It’ll Amaze Ya

Not Sure What Just Wrappened

| Norway | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(An older customer approaches my counter and pays for a book.)

Me: “Would you like me to wrap it up for you?”

Customer: “Well, yes, if you really want to.”

Me: “I would be glad to do that for you!” *wraps the book for him*

Customer: “Thanks for the gift, dear!” *immediately unwraps the book and leaves the store*

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