Doesn’t Work Its Magic On Some Customers

| San Diego, CA, USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Religion

(An adult shopping for her child picks up a book from the ‘Magic: The Gathering franchise’.)

Me: “Oh, that’s a great one, especially if you play the card game.”

Patron: *looking at the cover* “This art is really cool. What’s it about?”

Me: “That one is about a couple of mages who are working on a inter-dimensional teleporter, and some of the politics surrounding the mage’s school they work at.”

Patron: “Is it… you know… violent?”

Me: “A bit. Nothing you won’t see in any modern action movie though. I’d rate it PG.”

Patron: “Oh, awesome. I’ll take the whole series.”

(We have 20 books in the franchise.)

Me: “Great! So, is your kid into fantasy and magic and such? We have lots of—”

Patron: *gasps* “MAGIC?!”

Me: “… Yeah?”

Patron: “You mean… like WITCHCRAFT?!” *crosses herself and runs out*

Closed To Fake Customers

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(Our store closes at 6 pm. It’s 6:20 and I’m standing by the front doors, waiting to lock up, while my coworker cashes out the last few customers at the store. While I’m eager to get home, I’m usually sympathetic when someone wants to grab something quickly. A woman walks up to me.)

Customer: “Hi, are you guys closing?”

Me: “Yeah, we’ve actually been closed for about 20 minutes.”

Customer: “Oh, I wanted to go in.”

Me: “Well, if you know what you want you can rush in and grab it.”

Customer: *very bright and chipper* “Well, I wasn’t going to buy anything. I just wanted to look around.”

Me: “Sorry, but we are closed.”

Customer: “So you’re not going to let me in?”

Me:“Um, no.”

Customer: “That’s not very good customer service.”

Me: “Well, that would be because you’re not a real customer.”

Those Books Can Be Killer To Finish

| KY, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Books & Reading, History

(I’m the customer in this situation:)

Me: “I’m looking for a copy of Les Mis and I found several different copies from different publishers. What do you recommend?”

Staff Member: “Well, it depends. Do you want a smaller-size copy that’d fit in your purse so you can take it anywhere?”

Me: “Well… the print in those can get pretty tiny… Actually, I’m looking for a book hefty enough to kill someone with.”

Staff Member: “…”

Me: “Sorry.”

Staff Member: “In that case, I suggest Tolstoy or Proust.”