Got Themselves In Your Bad Books

, , , , , , | Learning | January 8, 2018

(I work in my university’s bookshop. A student comes in and asks for a book for his course.)

Me: “Sorry, we’ve sold out. We get a new stock in every Monday, so if you come in first thing you should be able to get one.”

Student: “I can see one on the shelf behind the counter. Give me that one.”

Me: “Actually, that one is mine. I bought it last Monday when they first came in.”

Student: “You don’t need that. I do. Give it to me.”

Me: “What makes you think I don’t need it?”

Student: “Because you’re just a shop assistant. You don’t even have the qualifications needed to apply for [University], and [Course] is much too hard for you.”

Me: “Hmm, I see you weren’t at the pre-lecture meet-up.”

Student: “What? Yes, I was. How would you know?”

Me: “Because if you had been there, you would know that I’m the seminar tutor for [Course].”

(He looked at me like I’m nuts and left. Our first seminar was the day after, and I made an extra special effort to stress that the bookshop gets new stock every MONDAY. [Student] kept his head down for the entire seminar. I figure he got his books elsewhere from then on, because I’ve yet to see him in the shop since.)

Steamrolling Past Any Logical Explanation

, , , , , | Right | January 8, 2018

(While working at a popular book and music retailer, I meet a customer who is looking for a particular Christmas CD.)

Customer: “Do you have the latest Manchester Stovepipe CD?”

Me:Manchester Stovepipe?”

Customer: “Yeah, they’re like a modern orchestral group.”

Me: “Do you mean Mannheim Steamroller?”

Customer: “Yeah! That’s it… but how’d you figure out Mannheim Steamroller from Manchester Stovepipe?”

Me: “I want to know how you got to Manchester Stovepipe from Mannheim Steamroller!”

Customer: “Good question.”

Me: “Right this way.”

Unfiltered Story #102730

, | Unfiltered | January 4, 2018

(This bookstore has a membership program that you can join. I’ve already got one and I keep the card number on my phone. I am not Hispanic.)

Cashier: “Do you have a membercia?”

Me: *trying to comprehend what she just said to me*

Me: “What is a membercia?”

Cashier: “Membership in Spanish.”

Me: “I wouldn’t know since I’m not Spanish.”

Cashier: “Oh.”

Unfiltered Story #102205

, , | Unfiltered | December 29, 2017

(I’m actually the customer in this story that took place when I was in the 2nd grade. A local bookstore had come to our school and had various books and products available for purchase during a special event out school was hosting. I was very young and I walked up to the person doing the transactions with 2 items in my hands. One was a book for roughly $7 and the other was a special book that came with a toy for roughly $22, and there was a Buy one Get on special on all items.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like to buy this-” gesturing to the $7 book, “and get this free.” raising the $22 item.

Cashier: “Oh I’m sorry honey, I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that. You have to buy the more expensive one to get the cheaper one for free.”

Me: “Oh, I guess I won’t get these then.”

Unfiltered Story #102196

, , | Unfiltered | December 26, 2017

(I work in a college bookstore where and we are working on shelving books for the fall semester. Two girls come into the store, one is blind and being led by the other.)

Me: Hello, Can we help you?

Leading girl: Yes we were hoping we could get her books for the next semester.

Assist. Mgr: Does she have her book list?

Leading girl: No but I know the books I had the same courses before. We need [book #1], [book #2] and Visualizing Physiology.

(The transaction goes smoothly from here and I return to my shelving, but I had to bite my tougne to not risk insulting the blind girl by saying, “Please tell me that the irony of the third title is not lost on you guys.” This is not intended to be an insult to the visually impaired, but irony just doesn’t get much better than this.)

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