Only I Have A Bad Feeling About This

| Washington, DC, USA | Bizarre

(The used bookstore where I work has a loading zone for customers that are selling books, which is clearly marked by the striped pavement and a sign that says ‘No Parking: Loading Zone.’ We don’t often have many issues with this, but on this particular day, a business in the same shopping center is having a convention, and the parking lot is packed.)

Customer: “I’m parked in your loading zone.”

Me: “Oh, are you selling books?”

Customer: “No, but the handicapped spot is full.”

Me: “That’s unfortunate; we do need to keep that space free for those customers who are selling books, though, so I’ll have to ask you to move your car.”

(The customer just walks off into the store, so that I have to follow her.)

Me: “Ma’am? Excuse me. I will need you to move your car. Our loading zone is just for those who are unloading books that they’re selling to our store. I can’t allow you to park there while you shop.”


Me: *confused* “I’m not sure how that’s relevant, but I still need to ask you to move your vehicle.”

Customer: *points to her foot, which is in a walking cast, as if I am disputing that she is handicapped*

Me: “I’m sorry the handicapped spot was taken, but the loading zone is not a handicapped spot; it’s just for loading and unloading. If your vehicle is still parked there in ten minutes, I will have to call a towing company.”

(The customer storms off into the store.)

Customer #2: *who has seen me have to ask two other people not to park in the loading zone in the time that he’s been in the store* “What a day. ‘Only I know how I feel’?”

Me: *lifts my hands in an ‘I don’t know’ gesture before going to look up the number for the towing company*


For The First Time In Forever, There Is A Good Frozen Joke

| NH, USA | Musical Mayhem, Popular

(It is the end of a Sunday shift at the bookstore, and a younger couple come up with their daughter. I tend to look very serious and deadpan, especially as I dress very formally for being just out of my teens, with a tie and waistcoat being very common. The customer places a book of ‘Frozen’ piano music that had been heavily discounted on the counter.)

Customer: “[Daughter] is going to love this. She’s needed more music.”

Customer’s Husband: “Yeah, but not looking forward to hearing Let it Go over and over.”

Customer: “I wonder why it’s so cheap, though.”

Me: *as I hand them the receipt* “Bribes from noise-canceling headphone companies.”

(They both looked surprised for a second, then started laughing as they walked out, telling me to have a good day.)


Playing The Race Book

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Popular

Customer: “I’m looking for a book. I can’t remember the title or author, but it’s by an Asian woman.”

Me: “Do you have any more information? Unfortunately our books aren’t organized by the author’s race.”


Trying To Get You Fired

| Calgary, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Popular

(Our store is in one of the bigger malls in the city, and we don’t open until 10 am. At 8:25, as I’m getting the store ready to open and working on our “before-open” tasks, the fire alarm goes off. It is NOT a drill, and everyone is being asked urgently to leave. As I’m locking the doors so that I can evacuate, a lady approaches me.)

Lady: “Hey! Can you let me in quick? I just need one thing.”

Me: “…Seriously? You do hear the fire alarm going off, right?”

Lady: “Yes, but I drove all the way here, and I really do just need this one thing.”

Me: “Listen, that fire alarm is not a drill. And I am not walking back into a store full of tinder so you can buy your one thing.”

Lady: “Well, I never! I should be allowed to get this one thing.”

Me: *turn to leave* “No.”

Lady: *as I’m leaving, starts to scream profanities at me*

(Best part? She had to be forcibly removed from the mall by authorities, and I got to watch her in the parking lot screaming at the firemen and police who removed her from the burning building.)


Good Parenting Is Trans-parent

| MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Popular

(I am a female-to-male trans man. I haven’t been on my hormone meds for very long, but most people can’t tell that I was ever female-bodied. I am currently working the register with my unisex name tag on.)

Customer: *glances at my name tag* “That’s not usually a girl’s name.”

Me: “Well, I’m not a girl. That’s [total due], please.”

Customer: *pauses and then begins talking to me very condescendingly* “Listen, sweetheart. I know your type. You act like a tomboy all your life and you think you should play pretend and try to become a boy! Well, you’ll always be a woman, even if you’re a man-ish looking b****. Grow up.”

(I am in tears at this point and silently carry on with the transaction. A little boy who was in line next to her steps away from his mom.)

Boy: “Hey! That’s not very nice. He’s obviously a boy and you should respect that! You can’t be mean to someone just because they’re not like you. You should say you’re sorry.”

(The customer turns red, and the boy’s mom speaks up as well.)

Boy’s Mom: “Hmm, isn’t it sad when a six-year-old is better behaved than a forty-year-old?”

(The customer mumbled an apology and rushed out of the store, leaving her purchases on the counter. I offered the kind little boy and mother a discount on their books, but they declined and offered to buy me a scone from the coffee shop in our store, which I also declined. They stop in frequently now and always say hi!)

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