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Wants Their Complaint On A Plate

, | WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(There is a power outage in the middle of the day. For some unknown reason, we are always one of the few with power, which means the whole city comes over to hang out since we have books and coffee. Of course, this means we have lines and lines of people anxious for the warmth of coffee and food.)

Coworker: “Next in line, please!”

Customer: “I would like a caramel macchiato and a spinach and artichoke quiche.”

Coworker: “All right, that adds to $10.12, please! And your food and drink will be right at the end.”

(We switch off who is doing what since it is so busy and I am making the drinks. After a little while we have her food and drink ready to go.)

Me: “Okay, I have spinach and artichoke quiche and a caramel macchiato!”

(Customer looks at her order clearly not satisfied.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “I wanted to eat this here.”

Coworker: “We’ve been really busy because we’re one of the few businesses not without power, so we ran out of plates. You can still eat it here if you would like.”

Customer: *clearly still not satisfied* “If I want this on a plate, I should be able to get this on a plate. Who is the manager tonight?”

Coworker: *says our manager’s name* “Would you like to speak to her?”

(Somehow my coworker still has a smile on her face even with how much we’ve had to do all night. I don’t know how she does it. The customer grunts, takes the bag and drink and walks away. Later that night, as my manager and coworker are getting ready to close, nearly having to kick people out in the process…)

Customer: “Are you [Manager]?”

Manager: “Yes, I am. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I have a complaint to make. You need to fix the behaviors of your employees. If a customer asks for a plate, they deserve to get a plate.”

Manager: “Well, would you rather eat on a dirty plate or in a nice, clean bag?”

Customer: *looks appalled* “Why would you give me such an attitude?”

Manager: “Sorry, but it’s now 10. We are closing up and you have to leave.”

Customer: “Whatever!” *slowly walks away*

Manager: *with a smile* “Have a good night!”

(Apparently this customer does this a lot. She always has a complaint to make about our business, yet she always comes back. We also had a customer stand up to this rude lady customer and tell our manager that we gave excellent service, especially for it being so busy in the middle of a power outage. Mind you, we had actually forgotten her food because of all the chaos, so that part restored my faith in humanity!)

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Has Faith But Lost All Pope, Part 3

| Bilbao, Spain | Books & Reading, Religion

(My wife and I are the clients in a bookstore specialized in books related to Catholicism, looking for a gift for her mother.)

Clerk: “May I help you?”

Wife: “Yeah, we want a book.”

(The clerk looks at her in silence, waiting for something else.)

Me: “Honey, all they sell are books.”

Wife: *embarrassed* “Oh, sorry, you’re right! We’re looking for books about Christian things.”

(The clerk and I both look at her in silence.)

Wife: *more embarrassed* “Uhm… something about the new pope.”

Clerk: “Certainly, ma’am, we have an entire section.”

Me: “Thank god!”

Related:

Has Faith But Lost All Pope, Part 2

Has Faith But Lost All Pope

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A-Maze-ing Lack Of Sense

| San Rafael, CA, USA | Books & Reading

(As part of my job as bookseller, I occasionally grab misplaced books out of a “To Be Shelved” box and re-shelve them. One night, a coworker and I start going through the box.)

Me: *picks up a book* “Ah, The Maze Runner.”

Coworker: “Yep. Guy brought it back because he didn’t know it was a young adult novel.”

Me: “Huh…”

Coworker: “And he got it from the young adult section.”

(At this, I stammer and even accidentally drop the book, which my coworker finds appropriate and hilarious.)

Me: “So let me get this straight. A guy walks into the kids’ section that’s clearly marked.”

Coworker: “Yep.”

Me: “Then walks over to the teenage book section, also clearly marked.”

Coworker: “Yep.”

Me: “Picks up this book from the teenage section, and doesn’t realize it’s for teenagers.”

Coworker: “That’s the gist of it.”

Me: “Right… One second.”

(I pick up the book and smack it directly against the center of my forehead out of exasperation.)

Me: “Okay, I’m good.”

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Might Spot A Few Graphic Differences

| Iowa City, IA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Musical Mayhem

(While working at customer service at a bookstore a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Do you have Candide by Voltaire?”

Me: “Yes, we do.” *I show her where it is*

Customer: “It’s in a weird place. Why isn’t it with the graphic novels?”

Me: “Because it’s not a graphic novel.”

Customer: “But he only writes graphic novels!”

Me: “I think you’re thinking of Voltaire the musician. This is by Voltaire the philosopher.”

Customer: “Oh. You’re sure they’re not the same person?”

Me: “Completely. Graphic novels didn’t really exist when Voltaire was alive.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I might buy it anyway, in case it is the same person.”

(No matter what I said, I could not assure her that she was thinking of a different Voltaire.)

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Being Very Frank About It

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Books & Reading, History

Customer: “Do you have the Diary of Anne Frank?”

Me: “Of course. It’s in the Military History section in Holocaust studies. I can take you there.”

Customer: “Why is it in the Military history section? That is a disgrace. It should be in Memoirs section!”

Me: “Well, yes, it could go there, but we try to be as specific as possible with memoirs and diaries to help customers find what they are looking for. We also have presidential memoirs in American history, and celebrities memoirs in performing arts.”

Customer: “That is ridiculous! How rude!”

(The customer stormed out. I found out later that this customer later returned to the store and moved all of our copies of the Diary of Anne Frank to the Memoirs section. Apparently she felt very strongly!)

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