How Do These People Remember How To Breathe?

, , , , | Right | November 10, 2007

(Older lady comes in, doesn’t know me, yet decides to make me intimately knowledgeable about her husband’s surgery; she eventually runs out of steam when I don’t respond and looks around at the books on the shelves.)

Lady: “I like books.”

Me: “Good! Anything you’re looking for?”

Lady: *ignores my question* “I saw on TV that books are good to have because they make your house look nice.”

Me: *barely stifling a smile* “Really? I heard they’re also good to read.”

(Evidently, my comment goes right over her.)

Lady: “And you can use them to prop up the bed.”

(Her husband buys books, and then swiftly escorts her out.)

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Ask A Stupid Question …

, | Right | November 5, 2007

Bookstore Customer: “Do people donate all these books to you?”

Me: “Yes. We show up for work every morning and there are boxes of valuable books sitting at the front door.”

Bookstore Customer: “Wow, really! I could open a book store?”

Me: “Sure!”

Bookstore Customer: “If I opened a store, how would people know where to leave the books?”

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I’m Sure We Have A Book On That Topic

| Right | November 5, 2007

Customer: “Excuse me, how do I get up the stairs?”

Me: “If you don’t already know, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

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Oh, You Mean THOSE Kinds Of Maps

| Right | November 4, 2007

Bookstore Customer: “Do you sell maps? You know, things with pictures of roads on them?”

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Thank God They Didn’t Watch Total Recall

, | Right | November 3, 2007

Customer: “Do you have that book from that movie Les Miserababah?”

Me:Les Miserables? Yes, it would be on the 3rd floor.”

Customer: “What section would it be in?”

Me: “The fiction section.”

Customer: “So non-fiction is true, and fiction is not true, right?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “How can this book be fiction if there is a movie about it?”

Me: “Movies are not true.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me: “Yes. Movies are not true, movies are fiction.”

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