No, Only In The Original Klingon

| | Right | February 26, 2008

Me, picking up phone: “*** Book and Music…can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you have Shakespeare in English?”

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Oh, How The Truth Doth Sting

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2008

(As a result of the US/Canadian currency parity, a lot of customers have been angry that they have to pay the Canadian price instead of the cheaper US price.)

Customer: “Which price do I have to pay: the American or Canadian?”

Coworker: “I’m afraid you have to pay the Canadian price.”

Customer: *angrily* “Why?”

Coworker: “Quite simply, we buy from Canadian publishers with Canadian money. Also, that book was bought before the price parity; therefore, to sell at the American price would mean that we would not be making any money.”

Customer: “Well, I want you to explain to my seven-year-old daughter why she’s not getting this book for Christmas.”

Me: “…because her dad is a cheapskate?”

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What Your Broker Does On His Day Off

| | Right | February 13, 2008

(Around 11:00AM, a customer walks into my bookstore.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a good book on financial planning.”

Me: “Well, this book here is very popular.” *pointing to the book on the shelf*

(The customer stares at the shelf, obviously confused.)

Customer: “You are going to have to show me again…I’m too drunk to see.”

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The Honest Crook

| | Right | February 12, 2008

(I work in the music section of a bookstore. One day, we caught one of our regulars shoplifting and banned him. The very next day, he walks in as if nothing happened.)

Me: “Dude, you aren’t allowed to be here. You were banned.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “You stole a CD from me.”

Customer: “But I gave it back!”

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If Dr. Phil Has Hair, I’m A Friggin’ Sasquatch

| | Right | January 23, 2008

Customer: “I’m looking for that book by the guy with the hair.”

Me: “The…guy with the hair?”

Customer: “Yeah. I saw it on TV this morning. It has a red cover, I think…”

Me: “What was it about?”

Customer: “Ummm…I think it was about losing weight?”

Me, making an intuitive leap: “Was it The Ultimate Weight Loss Solution by Dr. Phil McGraw?”

Customer: “That’s it!”

 

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