Customer: “I’m looking for Anals Of The Western Shore.”
Me: *Blinks* “Annals Of The Western Shore? That’s in the fantasy section.”
Customer: “Oh, is it pronounced an-ahl, and not ay-nal?”
Me: “With absolute certainty, ma’am.”
A moment passes. The penny drops.
Customer: “Oh, my God!“
My first job straight out of high school was being a bookseller for a popular chain bookstore. Our general manager was known for being fussy and very picky. Books had to be arranged just so, staff had to always smile, and if she caught you in the break room, you’d better have a good reason for “wasting time”. Thankfully, she rarely came in. When she did, she was a holy terror.
One evening, before a big meeting was going to be hosted at our store, we were told that we needed to take extra care in cleaning up. I just didn’t expect how much care needed to be taken.
General Manager: “[My Name], I need you to clean the restrooms.”
Me: “I’ve already gone through and cleaned them.”
General Manager: “Did you clean the mirrors?”
Me: “Yep.”
General Manager: “Did you mop behind the toilet and clean the stall doors?”
Me: “Yep. Since I’m finished, I’m going to go ahead and clock out.”
General Manager: “Not so fast! Did you clean the toilet bolts?”
Me: “…The toilet bolts?”
General Manager: “Before you go, you’ll need to clean those. You should probably use a toothbrush to get in the grooves real good.”
At first, I thought she was joking, but nope, she was dead serious. Like a naïve seventeen-year-old, I went back into that bathroom and cleaned the bolts off as well as I could.
I went back to [General Manager], and she said she needed to check my work. She took one look at the bolts and said they were filthy.
General Manager: “You’ll need to clean them again.”
Me: “Umm… I can’t stay late; my ride is outside waiting for me.”
General Manager: “Well then, I guess you’d better get to it.”
Me: “I really can’t stay late.”
General Manager: “Well, get cleaning and then you can leave.”
I eventually found my manager and told him what [General Manager] wanted me to do. He let me go and said that he would handle the [General Manager]. That night, I left at about 11:00 pm; the store closed at 9:00 pm.
Customer: “I’m looking for books written by Jane Eyre.”
Me: “Jane Eyre is a book, not an author. It was written by Charlotte Brontë.”
Customer: “No, she wrote books. She wrote Pride And Prejudice.”
Me: “That was Jane Austen.”
Customer: “I don’t think that’s right.”
I grab a copy of each book to show to her.
Customer: “Oh… So, Jane Austen and Jane Eyre were friends?”
She ended up buying “The Jane Austen Book Club”.
I am ringing up a guy that has two books and a coupon. The books are a paperback and a hardback. The hardback is 40% off but is still more expensive than the paperback, so I apply the coupon to it.
Customer: “What? You need to put the coupon on the paperback because the hardback is already discounted! You’re ripping me off!”
The guy’s wife shows up.
Customer’s Wife: “Honey, just go with it.”
Customer: *To his wife* “No! I am the customer and they have to do what I want!” *To me* “Use the coupon on the paperback!”
I comply and give him his new total.
Customer: “But why is it more expensive now?”
Customer’s Wife: “Because you’re an idiot.”
Related:
When Underage Drinking Meets “Oh, No, The Consequences Of My Actions”
When Parking In An Emergency Area Meets “Oh, No, The Consequences Of My Actions”
I am working in a bookstore in the days when not everyone has Internet at home. A mother and her teenage daughter are looking confused in the fiction section.
Me: “Can I help you?”
Mother: “Yeah. My daughter is doing a report on Shakespeare, so we need to buy the book.”
Me: “Great, I can help you with that. Which play is she studying?”
Mother: “[Daughter], which Shakespeare play are you studying?”
Daughter: “There’s more than one?”
Mother: “Uh… yeah, sweetie! He wrote a lot! What is the story about?”
Daughter: “Ugh. It had some guy called Romeo trying to ask out some girl called Juliet, but I don’t know what it’s called.”
The mother looks at me with a pained expression.
Me: “I think I know which one that is…”
