Customer: “I’m checking to see if you have [environmentalist book].”

Me: “Hmmm… no, sorry, not at the moment.”

Customer: “Okay, then how about [other environmentalist book]?”

Me: “Yes, we do have that one!”

Customer: “Great! I’m an AP environmental studies teacher.”

Me: “Awesome!”

(I ring up the purchase. The credit card machine is acting sluggish, so to kill time I ask her this question though I’m sure the answer will be no.)

Me: “Need a bag for that?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “…”

(Employees trade off phone shifts where I work. This was the conversation I overheard from one of my coworkers on the phone with a customer.)

Coworker: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you today?”  *pause* “You have a book on hold with us and you need directions? Where are you coming from?”

(There’s a long pause.)

Coworker: “Well, sir, if you’re coming from Texas, the first thing to do is catch a plane.”

(We never did figure out how he got our number, but we did track down his book at a store in Texas.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have ‘How to Kill a Mockingjay?'”

Me: *just stare at her, completely caught off-guard by her question* “Did you want ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ or ‘Mockingjay?'”

Customer: “To Kill a Mockingjay!”

Me: “Are you sure?” *I lead her over to the teen section, knowing she wants The Hunger Games book, Mockingjay*

Customer: “That’s it! Hunger Games!”

Me: *sigh*

(She didn’t end up buying it because it was in hardcover and she’d rather wait until it’s in paperback so I’m sure I’ll be asked for “To Kill a Mockingjay” again!)

(I am working as a temp in a book shop. I am 17 and it’s my first ever job. The main manager has been off for a while with a broken leg and so it is decided that two deputy managers would co-run the place.)

Manager #1: “Hey, I need you to rearrange the stationary.”

(Minutes later:)

Manager #2: “Why are you doing that? There are books that need to be priced.”

Me: “I was told to do this but I’ll do that first, then.”

Manager #1: “Why are you not doing what I asked you to do?!”

Me: “Oh, [Manager #2] told me to do this first.”

Manager #1: “No, I wanted stationery doing. If I had wanted the books done first I would have told you to do the books!”

Me: “Okay…” *starts redoing the stationery*

Manager #2: “Are you deaf or something? What did I tell you to do?”

Me: “[Manager #1] told me to do this first.”

Manager #2: “Well, I’m telling you to do the books first.”

Me: “I’m just caught in the middle here… I just do what I’m told.”

Manager #2: “And I’m telling you to do the books.”

Me: “Okay, fine.”

Manager #1: *minutes later* “Stationery. Now.”

Me: “[Manager #2] said to do this.”

Manager #1: “Well, I want you to do what I tell you from now on. He didn’t even want to hire you…”