(I am talking to an older customer. This is a few years ago.)
Customer: “How many Harry Potter movies are out?”
Me: “They just came out with the fourth one. I can’t wait for the next book though.”
Customer: “Oh. Won’t the movie industry be mad that they are making the book before the movie? It will spoil everything.”
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(Two teenage customers walk up to the information desk, and pick up copies from the stack of ‘Pride and Prejudice and Zombies’.)
Customer: “I can’t believe Jane Austen let them do this.”
Me: “Well, she’s been dead for nearly two hundred years. Her works are all public domain now.”
Customer: “Oh.”
(She waves the book at me.)
Customer: “Then how can you do this?”
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(It’s the end of the summer. A high-school-aged customer comes in.)
Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for Frankenstein by ‘J somebody’.”
Me: “Actually, that was written by Mary Shelley. We have several copies.”
Customer: “No, it’s written by ‘J somebody’. Look it up.”
(I look it up. It’s definitely written by Mary Shelley.)
Customer: “Hang on, I’ll call my mom.”
(He comes back.)
Customer: “It’s Frankenstein by Jane Eyre.”
Me: “Sorry, sweetheart, looks like you have to read two books.”
Customer: “Aw, man!”
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Patron: “Why won’t my library card work?”
Me: “Let me see. Okay, you have $30 in fines on your card. You won’t be able to use it until those fines are paid.”
Patron: “I wanted to get some books for my daughter.”
Me: “I’m sorry. Until the fines are paid, you can’t use the card.”
Patron: *To daughter.* “Come on honey, let’s go home. The lady doesn’t want you to learn anything today.”
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Me: “Hi. Can I help you find something?”
Patron: “Yeah, my son’s doing some project and he needs some books on some sort of revolution.”
Me: “Okay, so he can pick any revolution to do the project on?”
Patron: “No, he’s doing it on The Revolution. Where do I find books on that?”
Me: “Which revolution? American? French? Haitian? Industrial? There were a lot.”
Patron: “I think he said it was the one that had a lot of battles.”
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