Me: “What can I help you find today?”
Customer: “Do you guys have The Diary of Anne Frank?”
Me: “Yeah, it’s right over here in Biographies under ‘F’. Let me grab it for you.”
Customer: “Oh, good! I’ve always wondered who wrote that!”
(A customer comes up to the register with three under-five-year-old kids with a “Watchmen” graphic novel.)
Me: “Hi! So have you seen Watchmen yet?”
Customer: “No, we are going right after this.”
Me: “You do know that Watchmen is a very violent movie geared towards adults, right?”
Customer: “Oh, it’s okay. We’re from the Bronx.”
This story is part of our Terrible Parents roundup!
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Read the Terrible Parents roundup!
(A customer approaches me holding an audiobook.)
Customer: “What’s this?”
Me: “It’s an audiobook.”
Customer: “What’s that?”
Me: “Well, it’s books read aloud so people can listen to them instead of reading the text.”
(The customer looks horrified.)
Customer: “Do you have more?”
Me: “Oh, yes, those shelves behind you there.” *pointing*
Customer: *looking at the rows of audiobooks* “That’s disgusting! People who can’t read shouldn’t be allowed in libraries anyway! You shouldn’t pander to them!”
Me: “Well, it’s also for people who have low or no vision.”
Customer: “They have no right to books, either!” *storms out*
This story is part of our Libraries roundup!
Read the next Libraries roundup story!
Read the Libraries roundup!
(I’m sitting at the reference desk when a lady walks in with a beautiful bouquet in one hand, a bag full of freshly-baked loaves of bread in the other, and a ferocious scowl on her face. She comes to the desk and slams down the flowers.)
Lady: *growls* “Flowers for librarians!”
(She slams down the bread, then growls again.)
Lady: “Bread for librarians!”
(She then puts both hands on the desk and leans forward.)
Lady: *snarling* “Now find me a book!”
Did you find this story from our Water Your Plants roundup?
Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, I need that book about the whale and the guy trying to get it.”
Me: “Oh, Moby Dick? It’s right back here.”
Customer: “WHAT?! I don’t want a book about dick! Ew!”
Me: “Um… Moby Dick is about the white whale and Captain Ahab. By Herman Melville. It’s a classic.”
Customer: “Oh. Do you have any copies with a manlier title?”
