Employee Of The Year

, | Right | June 17, 2008

Customer: “I’m looking for a book.”

Me: “Were you after a particular book?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Me: “What was the title?”

Customer: “I can’t remember.”

Me: “Do you know who the author is?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Do you remember what it’s about?”

Customer: “I saw it recently…”

Me: “Can you tell me anything at all about it?”

Customer: “It had a nondescript cover.”

Me: “…”

(And I found it!)

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What Your Broker Does On His Day Off

, , , | Right | February 13, 2008

(Around 11:00 AM, a customer walks into my bookstore.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a good book on financial planning.”

Me: “Well, this book here is very popular.” *pointing to the book on the shelf*

(The customer stares at the shelf, obviously confused.)

Customer: “You are going to have to show me again… I’m too drunk to see.”

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How Do These People Remember How To Breathe?

, , , , | Right | November 10, 2007

(Older lady comes in, doesn’t know me, yet decides to make me intimately knowledgeable about her husband’s surgery; she eventually runs out of steam when I don’t respond and looks around at the books on the shelves.)

Lady: “I like books.”

Me: “Good! Anything you’re looking for?”

Lady: *ignores my question* “I saw on TV that books are good to have because they make your house look nice.”

Me: *barely stifling a smile* “Really? I heard they’re also good to read.”

(Evidently, my comment goes right over her.)

Lady: “And you can use them to prop up the bed.”

(Her husband buys books, and then swiftly escorts her out.)

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Ask A Stupid Question …

, | Right | November 5, 2007

Bookstore Customer: “Do people donate all these books to you?”

Me: “Yes. We show up for work every morning and there are boxes of valuable books sitting at the front door.”

Bookstore Customer: “Wow, really! I could open a book store?”

Me: “Sure!”

Bookstore Customer: “If I opened a store, how would people know where to leave the books?”

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