Bridget Jones Having A Baby Doesn’t Mean You Can Bring Yours

, , , , | Right | March 10, 2019

(The movie “Bridget Jones’ Baby” has just come out. It’s an adult movie full of crude jokes and innuendos, swearing, and several sex scenes; it’s rated R. Anyone under 17 must be accompanied by an adult into an R-rated movie, and children under six aren’t allowed at all. I am an usher, and I’m coming back from a theater check when my manager informs me that a couple is taking their child into the Bridget Jones movie. I walk in after them. The movie has yet to start, as they are very early, and the lights aren’t even down yet. The couple is standing there, getting settled, with their infant in a stroller. I approach the mother that’s standing with the child.)

Me: “I’m sorry, miss. You can’t have your child in here. This is an R-rated movie, and children under six are not allowed.”

Husband: *jokingly… I think* “Well, then he’s six now, isn’t he?”

Wife: “But he’s just a baby.”

Me: “Yes, but he’s under six, and we can’t allow children under six in an R-rated movie.”

Wife: “But we should be allowed to dictate what he can watch, anyway; we’re his parents.”

Me: “Yes, but this movie is still inappropriate for young children, and our policy does not allow children under six from being in this showing.”

Husband: “He’s just a baby. He won’t even understand what’s going on.”

Me: “Maybe so, sir. But he is still under six, and still not allowed in an R-rated movie like this.”

Wife: “But we already bought our tickets and food and everything. Besides, he’s just going to nap through it. He’s just a baby.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. But he’s still under six. If you’d like, our manager can switch your tickets for another movie so you can take your child. But you can’t watch this movie with him.”

Husband: “But we couldn’t get a babysitter for our date, so we just took him. He’s just a baby.”

Me: “My apologies. If you would just come with me out of the theater, we can get you a ticket for another movie, instead, since we cannot have children under six in this theater.”

(Eventually, I got them to leave the theater, still muttering. They immediately went to my manager and b**** about me, about our rules, and about the fact they apparently couldn’t bear to reschedule their movie date to take care of their baby. They were given comp tickets for a later date, since they REALLY didn’t want to change movies, and left, still wondering why they couldn’t have an infant in a rated-R movie.)

Unfiltered Story #141239

, , , | Unfiltered | February 19, 2019

(I work in a call center where I take inbound calls to enroll people in our service, as well as provide support to current and previous customers.)

Caller: I recently enrolled with you, but my service hasn’t gone active, so I want to check the status of my account.

Me: (after gathering the customer’s info and pulling up their account) Okay, it seems your enrollment was rejected because we were informed you don’t live at the address you want to receive our service at. I’d be happy to confirm everything and resubmit your information to get your service started.

Caller: Oh…I did move around that time, so I guess I gave you my old info.

Me: No problem! I can definitely get everything updated and corrected so I can resubmit it and get service started.

(At this point, I attempt to start verifying information and correcting the incorrect information that was previously provided, but the caller is being difficult throughout it).

Caller: I don’t understand why my service didn’t go active. I got a confirmation number after I enrolled!

Me: Ma’am, that confirmation number is simply the number attached to the recording of your phone call, in which our computer verbally recites each piece of information you provided about yourself and asks you to verify that we correctly entered the information you provided us, as well as confirming that you are verbally agreeing to be our customer, and that you agree to our terms of service. We had no way of knowing you didn’t actually live at the address you provided us until we actually attempted to establish the service there.

Caller: But I got a confirmation number! I don’t understand.

Me: Again ma’am, that number simply confirms that you have verified that we correctly entered in the information as you provided it to us.

Caller: Someone should have called me!

Me: Ma’am, I apologize that didn’t happen, but I’d be happy to get everything corrected now.

Caller: So you’re saying this is all my fault?!

Me: (no..I’m only thinking it) Ma’am I apologize that your enrollment was rejected, but I’d be happy to correct everything.

Caller: But this isn’t fair! Why are you blaming this all on me? I want my service with you backdated!

(Basically, because the company that she’s currently receiving service from currently is more expensive, she wants our pricing to be retroactive…so she can have our pricing instead for those months…when she wasn’t actually receiving our service during that time and was still someone else’s customer. confused yet?)

Me: …Ma’am, I’m sorry but that’s just not possible.

Caller: Why not?! I enrolled on XX/XX/XXXX date, so I want the agreed price for that time! The other company is too expensive and that’s why I wanted your service instead of theirs!

Me: Ma’am, I’m sorry but I can’t undo the past. They already provided the service.

Caller: I can’t believe you won’t do anything about this! You should’ve called me! Why are you blaming this all on me?

Me: Ma’am, I apologize again and I’d be happy to correct your info so we can begin providing service to you and getting you our lower price.

Caller: I’m done! You certainly did not provide 5 star customer service today and I can’t believe you won’t do anything to help. Goodbye! (customer hangs up)

Me to the sound of a disconnected call: *sigh* You have a great day, ma’am.

Unfiltered Story #131649

, , , | Unfiltered | December 8, 2018

Customer: “These dips look the same, but I know they must be different because they’re not the same price.”
Me: “Actually, they are both Spinach Artichoke (as it says on the label). The prices are different because it’s sold by the pound.”
Customer: “…what does that mean?”
Me: O_o

This Christmas Gift Is Shaky At Best

, , , , | Romantic | December 20, 2017

(My boyfriend is an avid skier, so for Christmas I buy him a pass to our local ski area. The pass is just a piece of heavy paper, and rather than just tucking it in a card, I put it in a small box and add a few heavy beads to throw him off when he tries to guess what it is. I go over to his house around the 20th, he opens the door.)

Me: “Merry Christmas!” *hands him the box*

Boyfriend: *takes the box and immediately drops it*

Both: “Oh, no!”

Me: “I’m sure it will be okay.”

(After some socializing I go home. Come Christmas morning, the phone rings.)

Boyfriend: “You are so rotten! I’ve been shaking that box every day since you gave it to me, trying to figure out how broken it was, and if I could fix it before you knew!”

Me: *laughing my head off* “Yeah, it couldn’t have worked out better if I’d planned it.”

(He loved the ski pass!)

Not Seeing Red Makes Them See Red

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2017

Me: “Welcome to [Dealership]! My name is [Name].

Customer: *looking at a grey [Vehicle]* “That [Vehicle]’s not red!”

Me: “No, sir. It’s gray. I have two in white and one in gray.”

Customer: “But it’s not red!”

Me: “No, sir. It’s gray.”

Customer: “IT’S NOT RED!”

Me: “No, sir. It is not.”

Customer: “I WANTED A RED ONE!”

(He jumps in his car and speeds off the lot.)

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