Get A Time Machine And Take It Up With The Founder
I work as the receptionist in an all-girls boarding school. It has been an all-girls school since its inception more than a century ago. We are a college prep school, but Google sees all boarding schools equally, so we do get a not-insignificant number of calls from folks who are looking for a boarding school in general, a military type of school, and the full spectrum of boarding school stereotypes.
Usually, all I have to do is apologize for the confusion and explain that we’re not what they’re looking for. I advise them on what boarding school search sites are more accurate than Google, I wish them luck with their search, they thank me, and we all move on with our day.
Until this call.
Caller: “Hi. I’m calling to see if you do mid-year admissions.”
Me: “Yes, we do rolling admission here.”
Caller: “Great! I’m interested in enrolling my son.”
I figure this is a normal mix-up call.
Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry, but we’re an all-girls school, so we won’t be able to enroll your son.”
Caller: “Why?”
Me: “…Well, ma’am, because we’re an all-girls school. We don’t enroll boys.”
Caller: “Why?”
Me: “…Because our founders were interested in educating girls. We’ve followed that ever since.”
Caller: “Can you change it?”
I’m starting to crack, stifling a laugh.
Me: “No, I’m sorry. That’s not something I’ll be able to do.”
Caller: “Why?”
I’m starting to think this is a joke.
Me: *Half-chuckling* “Because this is what we are, ma’am.”
Caller: “I don’t appreciate your attitude about this!”
I’m still not sure I’m not being pranked.
Me: “Well, ma’am, you called a well-established all-girls school to enroll your son. We cannot make that change just for you. It’s just not a possibility.”
With a big sigh, she hangs up, leaving me staring at the phone in my hand.
Me: “What just happened?”
She has not called back since.