The Fire Isn’t The Hot Story Here
Around the start of the school year, my international boarding school holds a Food Fair where we all showcase local foods from home. As the best baker in school, I am slated to bake four or five big pandan cakes for the Food Fair.
Of the many kitchens available to students, there are only two in the whole school which I would consider adequately stocked: [Kitchen #1] and [Kitchen #2]. With the Food Fair only a few days away, [Kitchen #1] is fully booked, but that isn’t much of an issue. I prefer baking in [Kitchen #2], anyway.
But there is a small snag in the plan: [Kitchen #2] is inside the largest dorm, which is a boys’ dorm, and the only person willing to assist me in the baking process is a girl.
The school has a zero-tolerance policy for people entering the opposite gender dorm. I believe the punishments include suspension and expulsion.
Luckily, I am able to argue my case, and given that I am known to be a well-behaved lad, the school gives me special permission to bring [Assistant] into the boy’s dorm. The Vice Principal himself tells me that it is the first time in school history that a female student will legally enter a boy’s dorm.
[Assistant] and I enter the dorm — every single boy in the vicinity looking completely flummoxed — and begin the baking process. I turn on the oven to preheat while we mix the batter.
Assistant: *Giggling* “Look at all their faces. They can’t believe that you actually brought me in here.”
Me: *Laughs* “Yeah, I mean, we boys have smuggled girls in before, but you’re the very first— Wait, do you smell smoke?”
We both look down and realise that the oven is on fire, and we jump back in fright.
Assistant & Me: “Aaahhhh!”
Assistant: “It’s on fire! What do we do?”
I promptly hit the fire alarm, and a teacher is able to quickly come in with a fire extinguisher and put out the flames.
Me: “Oh, dear. Um, sir, I hope I’m not in any trouble.”
He waves a hand dismissively.
Teacher: “It’s all right. The oven was old, anyway. Just use the second oven only.” *Walks away*
Me: “This was not how I expected today to go.”
We both continue baking and manage to produce the cakes as promised. Within three days, the entire school has heard about our little incident.
On Monday, my entire class corners me and demands answers.
Me: “Yes, it’s true. We set the oven on fire.”
Male Classmate #1: “I don’t care about the oven. Nobody cares about the oven! That’s not important!”
Female Classmate #1: “Yeah! We all need to know one thing.”
Male Classmate #2: “How in the world did you legally bring a girl into [Boy’s Dorm]?! What magics did you use?”
Me: “That’s what you’re concerned about? We burned an oven!”
Female Classmate #2: “Who cares about the fire? How did you get permission to bring a girl into the dorm?”
Me: “But the fire…”
Later…
Assistant: “My entire class cornered me during first period, and you will not believe what they asked me.”
Me: “Let me guess: they didn’t ask you anything about the fire. Instead, they all asked how you legally entered [Boy’s Dorm]? And how to do it themselves?”
Assistant: “Yup. Nobody cared about the fire. Nobody at all!”