Not Putting The P Into Privacy

, , , , | Related | March 25, 2018

(My four-year-old son and I are home alone. I go to use the bathroom while he’s playing with his toys. As soon as I have closed the door and sat down, he comes barreling down the hall and barges in.)

Son: “What’s that sound?”

Me: “That’s the sound of me peeing.”

Son: “I don’t like it.”

Me: “Then don’t come in here.”

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Unfiltered Story #106362

, , | Unfiltered | February 27, 2018

(I was at a bus stop, waiting for a bus, when a guy walks up to me, cigarette in hand.)

Man:You have a light?
Me:No, I don’t. Sorry
Man:Geez, nobody has a light. Don’t people smoke anymore?
Me:Maybe people lost interest in slowly killing themselves.