A Signature Death

, , , , | Learning | June 20, 2017

(We are going on a trip in the new couple of weeks, so consent forms have been sent out to our parents for us to return to the school reception.)

Me: *handing form over* “Here you go. Year nine, [Group].”

Receptionist: *taking it* “This is a consent form.”

Me: “Yes. Year nine, [Group].”

Receptionist: “It needs to be completed by your parents and returned to us.”

Me: “I know. They’ve signed it.”

Receptionist: “They need to complete it in case something happens.”

Me: “I know.”

Receptionist: “Like you die.”

Me: “…”

(She hands the form back to me and wanders off. I turn to the other receptionist.)

Me: “Can you?”

Other Receptionist: “Sure… I don’t know about you, but that was really weird.”

Me: “Don’t worry, though. I’ll try not to die at the library.”

This Questionnaire Is Not Always Hopeless

, , , , | Working | June 19, 2017

(I’m applying online for a job at a chain pet supply store. There’s a pretty exhaustive application process, including a long list of statements you have to mark on a 1-5 scale from “strongly disagree” to “strongly agree.” Most are pretty typical for an entry-level retail job. For example, “I work best as part of a team” or “I appreciate constructive criticism from my superiors.” And then…)

Application Questionnaire: “When I look at the world around me, I feel little or no hope for mankind.”

(For the record, I marked “moderately disagree.” I never did hear back about that job, and not taking a screenshot of the question is one of my great regrets in life.)

If You’re Michael Jordan Then I’m Bugs Bunny

, , , , , | Working | June 19, 2017

(I am the prospective customer. The employee in question is either working too hard, or not hard enough.)

Me: *answering phone at home* “Hello.”

Telemarketer: *heavy accent* “Hello, my name is Michael Jordan and I’m offering duct cleaning services.”

Me: “Michael, the spokesperson deals not paying enough after your b-ball career?”

Cardigan And Again And Again

, , , | Right | June 19, 2017

(I work in my local Oxfam, mostly on one of the tills. The other day a customer comes in and tries on a woollen cardigan. After she’s tried it she comes up to me:)

Customer: “Excuse me, but I don’t think this item should be on display. I just tried it in on and it left hairs all over me.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll let the manager know about this and she’ll decide whether it’ll be taken of the rack.”

(The customer then goes back to browsing. The manager then comes down to let me take a break.)

Me: “I had a customer tell me that she didn’t think this cardigan should be on the rack. It left hairs all over her.”

Manager: “Okay.”

(She then puts the item back on the rack and takes over from while I go have a break. About 10 minutes later I come down from my break and take over the till again.)

Manager: “You didn’t tell me that she hadn’t left the shop.”

Me: “Oh, sorry.”

Manager: “It’s okay.”

(I get back to the till, a lack of customers paying for items leaves my eyes to inspect the store just as the manager comes down to put some stock out. At this point I notice something going on at the other till.)

Me: “I think that [Volunteer] might need your help with something.”

(The manager then goes down to the other till to check up on what’s going on. It gets sorted out, and she comes back and tells me what happened.)

Manager: “Funny story. That customer who you dealt with earlier came back, only this time she started looking for the cardigan, just so that she could complain about it still being out.”

When It’s Them Having The Blonde Moment

, , , , , , | Working | June 18, 2017

(I naturally have very blond hair. It’s been this way since I was a little girl, and I’ve never dyed or bleached it or anything of the sort. I am at a locally well-known grocery store picking up a few things for dinner, and the woman behind the counter strikes up a conversation with me.)

Clerk: “I really do love working here. It’s a lot of fun.”

Me: “I bet it is. I remember applying here a few years ago, but I never really heard back from the manager after the interview.”

Clerk: “Well, that makes sense.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Clerk: “Well, the store doesn’t generally hire anyone with unnatural hair colors.”

Me: *stares*

Clerk: *hands me my bags* “You have a wonderful day, then!”

Me: *walks away, both confused and offended*

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