Mayberry Meets Gotham

, , | IL, USA | Hopeless | July 13, 2016

(I’m at the local driver’s services facility. I see a rather aggressive looking young female, straight darker blonde hair, and multiple piercings. She’s wearing a Batman baseball cap tilted to the side, a Batman shirt, and has a Batman lanyard hanging out of her back pocket. She goes to leave, and a tall elderly veteran, wearing loose fitting athletic clothes, and a VFW cap with many pins on it, holds open the door for the person leaving in front of ‘Batgirl.’ ‘Grampa’ hadn’t seen the young lady and goes to walk inside, practically ramming into her.)

Grampa: “Oh! Excuse me! I’m so sorry!”

Batgirl: *with a sweet, almost toddler sounding voice* “It’s okay! Thank you for holding the door for me!”

Grampa: “You’re most welcome!”

Batgirl: “How are you today?”

Grampa: *a bit taken aback by her question, starts laughing* “Oh, well, I’m – well, super-duper fantastic!”

Batgirl: *as she’s disappearing around the corner* “You have a great day, now!”

(Grampa enters the building, huge smile on his face and gets in line…)

Oreos And Plain Old Milk Just Don’t Cut It Anymore

, , | USA | Hopeless | June 20, 2016

(I work in a confectionary store. We’re on a little street in the historic area of town, where many ritzy boutiques and the like are located. This happens after lunch, when many of the small restaurants are closing for the day.)

Manager: “Ugh, I’m feeling slow. I’m going to put on some coffee.”

(She starts setting it up, but quickly realizes we don’t have any creamer left.)

Manager: “D****t! I can’t drink coffee without creamer!”

(We’re pretty laidback and low-key in this job. One of my other coworkers starts teasing the manager about her need for caffeine, while I just smirk to myself. As the manager keeps grumbling, my coworker gets a bright idea.)

Coworker: “Hey, I bet they’ve got creamer down at [Restaurant on corner]. [My Name], go get some so she’ll stop grumbling!”

Me: “Okay.”

(Here in this area, the businesses often give small free stuff to other merchants and their employees, so a little creamer shouldn’t be bad. I go down to the corner, where they’re prepping for closing. There’s only one customer left, enjoying her food. The owner is standing near the register and greets me. We’ve never been formally introduced, but I’m wearing my distinctive smock, so he knows where I work.)

Owner: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Me: “Can ya’ll spare some creamer? We don’t have any, and my manager really needs coffee.”

Owner: *goes behind counter, comes back with full, unopened half-n-half carton* “This good?”

Me: *completely surprised by such generosity* “Uh, yeah, that’s good.”

Owner: “Cool. Just have her buy another carton, and bring it back within the week. Enjoy.”

(I head back down to our shop. When my manager sees the carton, she’s flabbergasted.)

Manager: “[My Name]! I didn’t need all this!”

Me: “Well, it’s what he gave me, and it seemed wrong to refuse. He says you just need to buy another one, and bring it in by next week. Doesn’t have to be the same brand.”

Manager: “I don’t have time to go buy him creamer! Here, take him some cookies!”

(One of our candies is a chocolate-covered sandwich-type cookie. I grab two two-packs, walk back down to the corner, and enter. Everyone, from the line cook to the owner to the one single customer, is still there.)

Me: “Yeah, so, she likes the creamer, but doesn’t want to go buy you another one. You cool with some cookies?” *holds up packs*

Owner: *eyebrows raised* “Cookies for creamer? Yeah, sure.”

(He took the cookies, while everyone, including me, laughed. My manager was happy with the creamer, and told everyone about how I’m an awesome deal-maker. I just hope she doesn’t expect me to be the go-between for other trades!)

Bizarre Stories Themed Giveaway Roundup

, | Not Always Learning | Learning | December 4, 2013

Bizarre Stories Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Poetic Justice (595 thumbs up)
  2. Cat Needs To Get His Tongue (594 thumbs up)
  3. He’s A Few Condiments Snort Of A Meal (637 thumbs up)
  4. This Idea Is All Bad (663 thumbs up)
  5. And Now For Something Completely Different (1,307 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Bizarre Stories Themed Giveaway Roundup

, | Not Always Working | Working | December 4, 2013

Bizarre Stories Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Someone’s Having A Beef, Part 2 (1,241 thumbs up)
  2. A Bitter Pill To Swallow (943 thumbs up)
  3. Rattled Enough To Quit (927 thumbs up)
  4. Missing A Major Minor Point (870 thumbs up)
  5. You’ll Have The Devil To Pay (1,163 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Bizarre Behavior Themed Giveaway Roundup

, | Not Always Right | Right | December 4, 2013

Bizarre Behavior Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Was Not Performed In Chest (1,138 thumbs up)
  2. This Store Takes Credit (1,0673 thumbs up)
  3. A Sudden Stamp Of Recognition (1,737 thumbs up)
  4. Doesn’t Give Two Hoots About Listening (2,203 thumbs up)
  5. A Streetcar Named Cheshire (1,604 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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