(My boyfriend and I are at a bowling center to celebrate the birthday of a good friend. Everyone is having drinks and my boyfriend orders a chicken burger to eat.)

Waiter: “Here you go; one chicken burger. Enjoy your meal!” *walks away*

Boyfriend: “Hey, [My Name]. Could you try the burger? I think it is still frozen in the middle.”

(I try the burger and the chicken is indeed frozen. We call up the waiter to complain about it.)

Boyfriend: “Excuse me, but the chicken is still frozen inside. Also, the burger is pretty cold itself.”

Waiter: “I’m terribly sorry. Do you want a new chicken burger, or can I bring you something else?”

Boyfriend: “A new burger will do, thanks.”

(The waiter walks away. Meanwhile, I chat with a friend until I see the waiter returning with the new burger. I turn back to my boyfriend, only to see him stuffing half of the frozen burger inside his mouth. I am shocked. The waiter puts down the new plate and grabs the plate with the now noticeably smaller, old burger.)

Waiter: “Wait a minute. Did you just eat half of the burger you just complained about?”

Boyfriend: *while still chewing* “No! I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why would I do that? That would be pretty stupid.”

(The waiter looks disbelieving, but then walks away, probably thinking he is mistaken.)

Me: “What did you do that for? You got a new burger!”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, so? I’m really hungry and I didn’t want to pay for two burgers. It was a happy coincidence.”

(At the end of the evening, I gave the waiter a huge tip to compensate for the behavior of my boyfriend.)

(Our store allows for product exchanges on the condition that the item hasn’t been used and is still in good condition. We sell a lot of pots and pans, and the best way to tell if they’ve been used is by smelling them for the scent of any food. A lady comes up to the register with an expensive frying pan that has been removed from the packaging. This brand is exclusive to our store and is known to have quite bulky packaging.)

Customer #1: “I just want to exchange this for a different size, if that’s okay.”

Me: “Yup, that shouldn’t be a problem! Just making sure, has it been used?”

Customer #1: “No, I just took it out of the packaging to see if it would fit in my cupboard.”

(I let her go to find a smaller pan, and examine the one she left. It seems to be in perfect condition, but I give it a sniff and swear I can smell just a hint of spices, indicating that it may have been used. One of my coworkers is working the register with me.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker #1]! Can you take a look at this pan? I think it’s got a smell on it.”

([Coworker #1] comes and stands on my left and takes a whiff.)

Coworker #1: “Um… I’m not too sure. It seems to be fine, though.”

Me: “I don’t know.” *takes the pan back and smells it again* “I swear I can smell chili, or pepper, or something.”

(A second coworker comes to my right side.)

Coworker #2: “What’s going on?”

Coworker #1: “[My Name] thinks this pan’s been used; what do you think?”

([Coworker #2] gives it a good sniff, putting her face up close to it, then shakes her head.)

Coworker #2: “Nah, it’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

Me: *takes another sniff* “Are you sure?”

Coworker #1: *takes a sniff up close* “Yeah, I think she’s right.”

Me: *takes it back and sniffs again* “Okay, maybe I’m just imagining it, then.”

Coworker #2: *double-checking, smells the pan again* “Yeah, it’s fine, hasn’t been used.”

Customer #2: “Um… Excuse me?”

(All three of us look up and see a man waiting to be served, standing there with an odd expression on his face. It’s at that moment we realise he has been watching the three of us standing at the counter in a huddle, passing around a pan and taking turns to sniff it all while talking in hushed voices. Immediately, [Coworker #1] and [Coworker #2] scatter off in opposite directions and I quickly place the pan to the side and plaster on a big smile.)

Me: “Next waiting!”

(I work at a loan office that requires appointments. It is 1:15 pm, and a client is due in at 1:30. I get a phone call.)

Customer: “Hi, I’ve got an appointment at 1:30. What happens if I am late?”

Me: “We allow ten minutes leeway, but if you are any later than 1:40, we will have to rebook your appointment.” *thinking she is stuck in traffic* “How long do you think you are going to be?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m in town already, but I’m sitting in [Fast Food Place] and wanted to let my food settle before I come in.”

Me: *long pause* “Okay. See you at 1:30.”

(An older gentleman comes to my register.)

Me: “Good afternoon! How may I help you?”

Customer: “Ten!”

Me: “The meal? Or is that just the sandwich?”

Customer: “What?”

(I repeat myself, and tell him what the meal includes.)

Customer: “NO! I JUST WANT THE TEN!”

(While he does yell and he seems irritated, I don’t take offense. He might have trouble hearing, or he could be having a bad day. I can’t know. I can only be as kind as possible.)

Me: “Of course! Your [Burger] will be $5.19 today.”

Customer: “$5.19?

(I see that he has $5.10 in his hand.)

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “No. I just want the number ten!”

Me: “The number 10 is the [Burger]. Did you mean the ten-piece nuggets?”

(Some people do make this mistake, as that was the number 10 meal until about a month ago.)

Customer: *very agitated* “NO! THE TEN! IT’S RIGHT THERE!” *gestures to the menu board with all of our meals above my head*

(I am confused, since he doesn’t seem to want either item that would correspond to the number 10.)

Me: “Would that be the ten-piece nuggets or the [Burger]?”

Customer: “NO! TEN!” *storms off*

(I do feel bad for not understanding what he wanted, but I’m not sure what else I could have done there.)

(I work for cable television tech support, with service in 30 states and call centers in 8 of them.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. What can we do for you?”

Caller: “Hello, [My Name]! I think I met you in prison!”

Me: “That’s… highly unlikely.”

(What kind of person says that?)