Sub-Standard Recognition Skills

, , , , , | Right | October 9, 2017

(I walk into a gas station and witness this exchange. A middle-aged man has a simple purchase, a bag of chips, and is attempting to use a card at the register, but it won’t scan. A small line begins to form.)

Clerk: “It’s not going through. Can I see the card?”

Customer: *starts to make a scene* “This is ridiculous. I just want to pay and get out of here!” *keeps trying to scan the card, but eventually hands over the card to them*

Clerk: “I’m sorry, sir; this is a gift card for [Sub Shop]. This is [Gas Station]. Unfortunately, I can’t take this card; do you have a different one?”

Customer: “Oh, this isn’t [Sub Shop]? No wonder you don’t have the chips I like!” *throws the bag of chips at the clerk and storms off*

Clerk: *visibly shaken* “Well, now I’ve seen everything. We don’t even make subs here.”

Manager: *to the clerk* “You should go take a break. That was a little intense.”

Me: “At least he didn’t try to order a sub. He would have really had a bad time.”

Hands Off The Merch(ant)

, , , , , | Right | October 9, 2017

(I am working as a cashier at a fast food place during my senior year of high school. One day an older lady comes in with three grandchildren.)

Me: “Good morning! How can I help you?”

Customer: “Just a moment; let’s figure out what we want.”

(She proceeds to talk with the kids and argue about what they want for about five minutes before I finally have everything in the machine.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, if that’s all…”

(I put my hand out for her change and she grabs my hand.)

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Not so fast! I still have to order for me.”

(She continues to hold my hand for the duration of the order, even as I try to pull my hand back. Only at the end when she gets her money out do I get my hand released. Needless to say I kept my hands behind the counter for the rest of the order.)

Customer: “Here you are!”

(She apparently saw nothing wrong with what she did, and I was too polite to mention anything. All of my coworkers saw this and teased me for a month, asking where my “girlfriend” was.)

Hiding Them Like Animal Crackers

, , , | Learning | October 9, 2017

(During finals week, everyone in my Earth Science class finishes the final early, so on the last day of school, we are getting ready to watch a movie instead. It is still during the five-minute passing period when the class stoner asks the teacher for a favor:)

Student: “Can I go get my crackers?”

Teacher: “Sure, where are they?”

Student: “In the tree outside, because that’s where I hid them.”

Teacher: *pauses* “Your crackers are outside in a tree?”

Student: “Yeah. Can I go get them, please?”

Teacher: “I guess, as long you’re back before the bell rings.”

At A Loss To Explain The Coin Loss

, , , , , | Right | October 7, 2017

(I’m in line behind a man who has just paid for his coffee with cash.)

Cashier: “Here’s your change, sir.” *it’s a few coins*

Customer: “You mean trash.”

(The customer takes the change, tosses it in the trash can, and walks off.)

Me: *to the cashier* “Geez, ever heard of a tip jar? I think it’s illegal to throw money away. Was it just pennies?”

Cashier: “It was 29 cents!”

Me: “So, he got a quarter! I would have gladly taken it.” *in a mocking voice* “I’m too good for coins; I only use bills.”

Barista: “That’s what happens when you have too much money.”

Yes Over-Age, No Under-Standing

, , , , | Working | October 6, 2017

(It’s legal to purchase alcohol from the age of 18 in the UK. I am at my local liquor store purchasing a few drinks for a party later on that evening. I’m at the counter, which is being manned by a woman I’ve never seen before.)

Cashier: “Can I see your ID, please?”

Me: *hands over ID*

Cashier: “I can’t sell you these.”

Me: “Why not?”

Cashier: “This ID says you were born in 1989. That means you’re too young.”

Me: “It’s 2011.”

Cashier: “…”

Me: “I’m 21.”

Cashier: “No. Because you add twenty and take one. That means you’re too young.”

Me: “I… what?”

Cashier: *shrugging* “Kids today don’t know anything.”

Me: “But, you add twenty? Add twenty to what?”

Cashier: “Right, so 1989 add 10 is 1999, then adding another 10 makes it 2009.”

Me: “And then take one?”

Cashier: “From how old you’d be.”

(I take a second to double check what I’ve just calculated, as I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous in my life.)

Me: “That would make me 18.”

Cashier: “Exactly!”

Me: “And still legally allowed to buy alcohol.”

(The woman stared at me for a second before putting on a strange expression, almost like she had shut down. Eventually the owner appeared after several other customers, upon seeing my ID, tried convincing her that I was in fact 21. He put through my purchase and I left swiftly after. The woman doesn’t work there anymore, but now every till has a small whiteboard next to it with whatever date it was 18 years ago and “CAN BUY ALCOHOL IF BIRTHDAY IS BEFORE:” above it.)

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