Doesn’t Make Ad-Sense

, , , , , , , , | Right | December 4, 2017

(A call comes in ten minutes before closing:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Restaurant], this is [My Name] speaking, how can I help you?”

Irate Caller: “I cannot believe that you would expose my children to such inappropriate television advertisements! This whole [new company slogan] is exposing my daughters to [oral sex], and they are only four and six years old. I should report you to the FCC!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you are calling a local franchise location. The national corporate office creates the all advertisements, and we don’t have any say in it. I can help you get in contact with them, if you would like.”

Irate Caller: “Well, if you cared about your customers at all, you would take down those disgusting ads right now!”

Me: “Sir, I’m a local supervisor; I have no control over television ads. However, the number for [Restaurant]’s corporate office is [number]. We don’t have any interaction with them, other than buying our supplies, so you need to call them in the morning. I’m sure they can tell you who can help you.”

Irate Caller: “I’ve never seen such horrible things in my life, and you won’t help me. You’re harming my four- and six-year-olds, and all you will do is tell me to talk to someone else in the morning. I want these ads taken down now! I don’t want them to show up on my TV again.”

Me: “Sir, in all honestly, you’re just calling the wrong number. You need to call the corporate office. I’m sure they can help you.”

Irate Caller: “If you cared about your job, you would care about me! What lousy customer service! Don’t you even care about my daughters? Fix this now!!!!”

Me: “Sir, I’m a 19-year-old college student, working at a fast food joint making [just over minimum wage] an hour. I would love to help you, but I have absolutely no say over what is on television. I wouldn’t even know who to call to ask them to stop broadcasting them. Personally, I agree with you. I don’t like the new slogan. I think it’s dumb and I also think it’s inappropriate. However, I can’t help you; only the corporate office can.”

Irate Caller: “If you agree with me, why won’t you help me? I’m going to get you fired and, then sue for exposing my kids to [oral sex]! It’s not right what you’re doing.”

Me: “Okay, sir, if you call the corporate office, they can put you in contact with their legal department.”

Irate Caller: “Why are you doing this to my kids, you [swear word]?”

Me: “Sir, it is time for me to close the restaurant. I cannot help you and I really need to go. I’m sorry I couldn’t help you, but if you call the corporate office, I’m sure you can find someone with the authority to help. Do you need me to repeat the number?”

Irate Caller: “You know you’re going to Hell, right?” *slams down the phone*

Plan Ruined By A Single Response

, , , , , | Romantic | December 4, 2017

(I am a teller at a bank. An elderly man comes up to my window.)

Elderly Man: “Hello, there.”

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

Elderly Man: “Are you married?”

(Older customers tend to be chatty, so I’m used to this line of questions.)

Me: “No, I’m not.”

Elderly Man: “Are you single?”

Me: *getting slightly weirded out by the way he’s looking at me* “Yes.”

Elderly Man: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

(At this point, I’m just ready for him to go, and I’ve finished his transaction.)

Me: “Yes, I do.”

Elderly Man: “Oh, too bad. I was going to kidnap you.” *calmly walks away*

(Apparently having a boyfriend means I can’t be kidnapped!)

That’s A Lot Of Men Coming Out Of Your Bedroom

, , , | Related | December 4, 2017

We once lived in a two-storey building, which was actually located in the middle of a bustling city centre, with buildings close by and loads of shops around us. Our flat was distributed along two floors, and below us were the shops. Due to this, it was often very busy around us, and we often had workmen doing stuff on Saturdays in the shops, etc.

One day, the people who had the exact same flat but sort of opposite us had some work done, and their workmen actually had to do it from our balcony, the one in my bedroom, but on the second floor. Meanwhile, my mother had some guests and was entertaining them. The workmen asked, once they jumped from the neighbor’s balcony to mine, if they could come and go through our apartment since that would be way quicker, and I said sure. I went down and told my mom, but she was in the middle of a talk and just said, “Yeah, yeah.”

Ten minutes later, a crew in overalls, who had not come in to our house, came down the steps into the living room. I wish you could have seen my mother’s face, blinking fast, staring, trying to figure out where they came from!

Can’t Discount The Power Of Niceties

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2017

(I am a cashier at a home decor store. A middle-aged woman comes up to my cash with a cart full of product. From the get-go she is extremely friendly, almost to the point that it’s creepy. She compliments my hair and my eyes, and says that I am such a nice young girl, all with a weird smile that never leaves her face. I am a little suspicious about how overtly nice she’s being. Sure enough, when I’m finished ringing her purchases through…)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total is $251.75.”

Customer: *smile* “Oh, no, no, dear. That’s just too much. Don’t I get some sort of discount?”

Me: “I’m sorry; none of these items are on sale. Are any of these damaged at all?”

Customer: “Well, I was just so nice to you. Wasn’t I? I think I deserve some sort of discount for being such a pleasant customer.”

Me: “I’m sorry. You want a discount… for being friendly to me?”

Customer: *her smile is starting to slip and she raises her voice* “Yes! I saw something on Facebook that said if you’re nice to store employees they’ll give you a discount! Don’t you have an employee discount? Use that!”

(I am dumbstruck at the woman’s sudden personality shift. It takes me a few seconds to respond.)

Me: “Ma’am… I can’t do that.”

Customer: “Well, fine! I don’t want any of this s***, then!”

(She stormed off, leaving all the product on my till. My coworkers were just as flabbergasted as I was.)

Wish You Could Liquidate Some Customers

, , , , , | Right | December 3, 2017

(A big department store has recently declared bankruptcy and is closing down. All the stores are now in liquidation. The new prices are clearly marked on the labels and any additional discounts are marked in bright posters all over the store. On top of that, this is pretty big news in general which has been covered by many media outlets. I am shopping with a friend because I have an old gift card that I want to use it before the store closes forever. I am next in line and am browsing the “impulse buy” section. I am standing about five feet away from the customer in front of me, who is at the cash ringing her items through.)

Sales Rep: *tells woman what the total is*

Customer: “No. That’s not right. They were on sale in the flyer.”

Sales Rep: “I understand, and I do apologize. The thing is, we’ve gone into liquidation, so we can no longer honor those prices. As you can see on the tag, this is the liquidation price; plus, there’s a 20% discount.”

Customer: *stares at the employee as if he is speaking in a different language* “What?! But it’s in the flyer!

Sales Rep: “I can go check with my supervisor and see if I can put it through for the flyer price.” *leaves*

(I continue to browse a rack of flip flops that are behind the customer, four or five feet away.)

Customer: “CAN YOU PLEASE BACK AWAY, JUST LIKE A FEW FEET?”

(I do not realize she is speaking to me, since I am not very close to her and I am within the area blocked off for lining up, and there’s people behind me, so I don’t really have anywhere to move to. I just ignore her and think maybe she’s talking to someone else.)

Sales Rep: *returns* “Hi, so, I can’t make any changes to the liquidation prices.” *begins to explain to her what a liquidation is and why he can’t make any changes*

Customer: “Well, can you just ring it in at the sale price from the flyer, and then ring it in at the liquidation price so that I can see the difference?”

(The sales rep begins ringing through the items to compare prices. I step back into line, away from the flip-flops. I am now three or four feet away from the customer, but I am by no means “too close,” as I am standing in the marked area for the next customer in line to wait. The customer, who is now arguing about what ends up being about a $1 difference between sale price and liquidation price, suddenly turns to me.)

Customer: “CAN YOU PLEASE BACK AWAY FROM ME A FEW FEET?! I CAN’T FOCUS WITH YOU STANDING SO CLOSE!”

Me: *fed up, as we have been waiting on this woman over ten minutes* “Yeah! Okay!”

(I left the line and went to a different cashier elsewhere in the store. I was next in line there, as well, and was done with my transaction in about two minutes. I had to walk past the original register and noticed the same lady was still there, arguing about her store points, with a line of over ten people behind her. Her purchase was just four pairs of socks. Also, the cashier who checked me out told me that customers have gone crazy with the sale; she witnessed a woman slap a complete stranger across the face when she thought she was trying to step in front of her in line.)

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