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If You Can’t Convince ‘Em, Confuse ‘Em, I Guess

, , , , , | Working | September 6, 2021

My coworker is packing up her things to leave when our supervisor emerges from her office.

Supervisor: “[Coworker], I’ve noticed you often leave a few minutes before 5:00.”

Coworker: “Oh, it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

Supervisor: “Uh, no, you need to stay until 5:00.”

Coworker: “No, really, I don’t mind!”

Supervisor: “We’re paying you to be here until 5:00.”

Coworker: “It’s fine. I don’t mind!”

Supervisor: We need you here until 5:00!”

Coworker: “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind!”

[Coworker] cheerfully leaves. Frustrated, [Supervisor] turns to me.

Supervisor: “You get it, right?!”

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What’s The Name Of Your Boutique, So We Can Never, Ever Go There?

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Iamthemeltingpot | September 4, 2021

I work in a thrift store that supports a women’s center. A couple of months ago, I was closing with three other people. I was making my rounds around the clothing racks, fixing hangers and whatnot. A lady came up to me.

Customer: “Are you ready to go home?”

Me: *Laughs* “Yes, but we still have an hour and a half to go.”

Customer: “I love shopping, and I won’t be leaving until I’m done!”

I looked at my coworker, thinking, “WTF?” The lady got upset.

Customer: “Don’t you roll your eyes at me. You have no idea who you’re messing with. I’m really crazy!”

Me: “Okay.”

And I walked away.

Fast forward to closing time. There were two people still in the store: the lady and her friend, who was super embarrassed. Apparently, she had been going on and on about how disrespectful we were and that she was going to stay late.

At our store, we give fifteen-minute, five-minute, and closing announcements, so she knew we were closing. She was still in the dressing room with a buggy filled with clothes she was trying on one by one. We don’t mind when the odd person is late, usually five to ten minutes if they have a lot of stuff. But this lady had been cursing us up and down while in the dressing room to the point that our regulars warned us. Her friend had me ring her stuff up while we waited for the rude lady, and she was apologizing the whole time.

One of my coworkers had kids that she needed to pick up, so of course, we were talking about it. At fifteen minutes past closing, she said, “F*** it,” and left. At the twenty-minute mark, the crazy lady finally came out, cussing us out.

Customer: “You are so unprofessional! I own a boutique and I would never drive out customers because I want their money! I know the owner here and I will tell him about your behavior.”

I added her stuff to the order, which of course, the friend paid for. Then, she dropped the bomb. In order to punish the coworker that left, she dumped all the clothes she didn’t want and their hangers on the ground. It took us ten minutes to pick everything up.

My coworker said that we should have her trespassed from the property, which, of course, caused her to change her tune.

The best part is that she took so long that her ride left with her phone, so she had to borrow the keyholder’s phone to call for a ride. She was still waiting outside while we were leaving.

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That’s The Way The Cookie Smuggles

, , , , , , | Right | September 3, 2021

I baked cookies around Christmas and put them in the break room at work for everyone. The rest of the staff really liked them, so sometime later in January, I made two trays’ worth and brought them over.

I had a morning shift beginning at 7:30 am and I put the cookies in the break room, first thing. By 10:00 am, they were gone. I thought that some people really enjoyed them, considering it took until about 4:00 pm for them to run out last time, but asking around, less than half the staff even knew I brought cookies at all. They just saw some empty trays in the break room.

Even management liked these cookies, and one of them, failing to have a cookie, looked at the security footage. Turned out that a so-called “customer” made his way into the back when no one was looking and then went into the break room. He stretched out the front of the shirt he was wearing into a pouch and filled it with every cookie still there. He then carried the cookies out of the building, taking a route that would not get him noticed by anyone working there.

That guy must have really liked these cookies, but learn to share!

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He Needs More Help Than He Can Scream For

, , , | Right | August 31, 2021

I work at a small café with a large, glass double-door entry. I am going up front to put change in the registers when I suddenly hear someone very loudly and desperately yelling.

Old Man: “Help! Help!”

I look around and see an older man, about sixty-something, standing outside by one of the coin-operated newspaper vending machines we have right outside our front door. Panicked by his anguished pleas for help, I quickly run outside to help him.

From the way he is screaming, “Help!” at the top of his lungs, I expect to see a finger caught in the newspaper vending machine door or some other grisly sight. As I run up to him, he is still screaming bloody murder, so I try to prepare myself to see some gore. When I reach him, I breathlessly ask:

Me: “Sir, what’s wrong?!”

Immediately, I’m puzzled. Not only is he completely uninjured, but he is also suddenly as calm as can be.

Old Man: *Mildly* “I can’t get my paper.”

Dumbfounded, I say nothing as I watch him place four quarters — the cost of a paper — in the machine. However, before he opens it, he pushes the button on top of the machine that gives you back your change. Apparently, he has been doing this over and over and got so frustrated he decided to scream for help like he was having a heart attack.

Me: “Sir, I’ll be glad to help you.”

I place the quarters back into the slot.

Old Man: “Okay.”

Before I could open the door to retrieve his paper, he pushed the button again! He angrily pulled on the door which, again, wouldn’t open because when the button is pushed it locks the door and returns the change! At this point, I could literally feel the anger and frustration emanating from this guy, so I very politely told him to let me try again.

Though angry and obviously annoyed, he did step aside. I then put in the quarters and quickly opened the door — before he had a chance to push the button again — and was finally able to retrieve his newspaper. He then became super happy, thanked me profusely, hopped in his truck — which was illegally parked — and drove away.

Definitely one of the stranger experiences I’ve had!

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Sometimes A Little Sass Is Required For Your Sanity

, , , | Right | August 31, 2021

I’m stocking a shelf and accidentally drop an empty cardboard box. A customer picks it up before I can get there and gives it back to me, for which I thank him before putting it away.

I’m about to go back to my task when I notice him looking at me.

Me: “Can I help you?”

The customer looks at me and then at the electric buggy we use to transport heavy goods. Our staff uniform is a bright blue polo shirt that no sane person would wear voluntarily. 

Customer: “Do you work here?”

Me: “I’d hope so.”

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