3D Vision Vs Pre-Vision

, , , , | Right | September 4, 2010

Customer: “Two.”

Me: “For which movie?”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “Which movie would you like to see?”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “Can you hear me?”

Customer: “Yes, I said two!”

Me: “I heard that, but you have to tell me which movie you want to see before I can sell you a ticket.”

Customer: “Oh, I have to pick one?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, how should I know what I want to see? I haven’t seen any of them yet!”

1 Thumbs
2,162

Murder, She Wrote

, , , , | Right | September 2, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Gas Station]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Do you shoot guns?”

Me: “Uh… what?”

Customer: “Well, I know your gas station hires some athletic young men and I was wondering if you knew anything about guns?”

Me: “Actually, I do know a decent amount about guns and shooting.”

Customer: “If you threw a gun in the air and shot it with another gun, would it explode?”

Me: “Wait, what? Why?”

Customer: “Oh, well, in the book I’m writing, the sheriff is fighting the robber on the balcony of the theatre, and the robber’s gun flies into the air and the sheriff shoots it. Would it explode or hurt anyone?”

Me: “Well, it probably wouldn’t explode, but it would probably discharge either when struck by the bullet or when it hits the ground.”

Customer: “Would it hit someone?”

Me: “You’re the author, ma’am.”

Customer:  “Oh, thank you very much!  I’ll send you a copy when it’s published!”

1 Thumbs
3,361

Voodoo Or Do Not, There Is No Jedi

, , , , , | Right | August 30, 2010

(I’m the resort coordinator and often deal with claims from guests who have had an incident.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Resort]. How may I help you today?”

Guest: *already irate* “You can help me by filing a claim for me! I slipped and fell on your property during my vacation and I deserve compensation.”

Me: “I’m so very sorry that happened to you. Can you please provide me with your name and the dates of your stay so I can pull the incident report?”

(She gives me the information.)

Me: “It seems that your stay with us occurred almost three years ago. The report says you didn’t want to file a claim at the time. May I ask why you’re just now contacting us?”

Guest: “You should know! You’re the one that hired that voodoo man!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Guest: “The security guard! The security guard who helped me up! He wiped my memory and his spell just wore off!”

Me: “He wiped your memory?”

Guest: “That’s what I just said, you idiot! Wiped it clean so I wouldn’t sue you people!”

Me: “He wiped your memory? Like a Jedi?”

Guest: “Yes! A Jedi! Now you understand why I have to deal with this now! That voodoo man is evil!”


This story is part of our Weird Customers roundup!

Read the next Weird Customer story!

Read the Weird Customer roundup!

1 Thumbs
3,456

Totally Randumb

, , , , , | Right | August 18, 2010

Customer: “Okay, so, I can’t decide what color I should get. Green, blue, or pink?”

Me: “Well, I really like the green.”

Customer: “No, no, never mind. I’ll just flip a coin.”

(The customer tries to find a coin in their pocket.)

Me: “I have a penny, if you’d like it.”

Customer: “Nah, I’m fine. I’ll just flip the coin in my head.”


Did you find this story using our Lucky Penny roundup?

Click here to get back to it!

Click here to see the next story!

1 Thumbs
2,236

(Don’t) See How They Run

, , , , , , , | Right | August 15, 2010

Customer: “I need to find a cage for my hamster.”

Me: “I can help. Is it a Syrian or a Dwarf?”

Customer: “I don’t know. It’s really tiny.”

Me: “Probably a dwarf.”

(I show her several hamster cages but she doesn’t like any.)

Me: “If your hamster is a dwarf, he might be able to live inside a mouse cage.”

Customer: “What’s that? A mouse?”

Me: “Yes, a mouse.”

(I show her the mice we have for sale).

Customer: “I don’t think I have a hamster. I have one of these.”

Me: “You can’t tell a hamster from a mouse?”

Customer: “I can’t get a good look at them when they run across the garage!”


This story is part of the American States roundup!

Want to read the next story? Click here!

Want to read the roundup? Click here!

1 Thumbs
2,904