I’m a teller at a bank. It’s the middle of the health crisis, so we don’t have many customers coming in. One coworker and I are sitting behind the counter. The door opens.
Customer: “Oh, sorry. I’m just checking if you’re open.” *Leaves*
My coworker and I shared confused looks.
I am a tomboy in my late twenties. I’m in the backyard, changing all four wheels on my car — jack, tire lever, and all. My aging neighbour is watering the vegetable garden and following my progress.
Neighbour: “You ought to have been born a man!”
He meant it as a compliment.
I’m studying abroad and don’t speak Estonian. I’m in a grocery store that I go to a lot, and I grab a pastry from the bakery. I’ve done this probably about twenty times since moving into my dorm. I put the pastry in a bag and then take it to the cashier, putting the pastry on the belt. When the cashier grabs the item, she begins to yell at me in Estonian and it throws me off guard. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong and I can’t understand her.
Me: “I’m sorry? I don’t speak Estonian.”
She then proceeds to yell at the people behind me, who look confused and shake their heads. I’m really nervous at this point. What have I done wrong? She gets about three people down before she gets to a young woman, who walks over to me and looks confused. She listens to the cashiers yell for a minute and then turns to me.
Woman: “She was asking all those people if they speak English. She wants you to get a coffee; it comes free with the pastry.”
Me: “I don’t want the coffee; I don’t drink it.”
Woman: “Okay, yeah.”
She then tried to calm down the cashier for what felt like a while and finally, the cashier stopped yelling and took my money. I appreciate her trying to help me get a good value, but could she not do it in a way that made me feel like I was breaking a law or something?
About ten minutes before closing, a youngish guy walks into the store, grabs some items, and comes to me to pay. It is 2013.
Customer: “Can I get a discount?”
Me: “Do you have a student card, sir?”
Customer: “No, I want an employee discount.”
Me: “Do you work here, sir?”
Customer: “No.”
Me: “Then I can’t give you the employee discount.”
Customer: “What if I said the owner was my wife?”
Me: “Unless the owner has had a complete sex change in the last two hours, the owner is not your wife.”
Customer: “What if I was Barack Obama’s brother?”
Me: “Sir, I’m pretty sure that Obama’s siblings would be people of colour. You are white.”
Customer: “You didn’t let me finish. I’m his brother-in-law.”
Me: *Raises eyebrow* “My previous answer still stands, sir.”
Customer: “Well, you should give it to me anyway. I’m important to the president.”
Me: “Good for you, sir. £8.40, please.”
Customer: “Why don’t you care more that I’m important to the president?”
Me: “Because he has no power over me or the store.”
Customer: “He is the president!”
Me: “So?”
Customer: “He is in control of everything.”
Me: “Only in the USA, sir.”
The customer gives me a blank look.
Me: “You are in England, sir. In the UK, not the USA.”
Customer: “Oh… okay, then.”
He gives me £10.
Customer: “Keep the change.”
I’ve been out of the workforce for about a decade, due to illness and staying home with kids. I recently decided to try part-time work at a friend’s cafe. Since I just started, my boss has been in training and helping me.
In walks a woman who seems a bit flustered.
Customer: “Do you have something like iced coffee?”
Me: “Yes, we do!”
Customer: “And can I get… caramel in it?”
Me: “You sure can!”
Customer: “Great. And cream and sugar.”
We are a small cafe. We provide cream and sugar, but we never add it in. My boss steps in.
Boss: “We have cream and sugar down at the end here, and you can add it in yourself.”
She seems satisfied, so I tell her the total.
Customer: “And you mixed in the cream and sugar?”
I can see my boss twitching, so I try to help.
Me: “No, we provide the cream and sugar for you to add. That way you’ll have it exactly as you like.”
Customer: “So you don’t mix any of it?”
Me: “Oh, yes, we will mix in the caramel, just not the cream and sugar.”
Customer: “So I have to do everything myself?! Does it come with sugar?”
Now this woman seems to be getting visibly distressed. I’m confused at what to do, but I keep trying.
Me: “We will mix together your coffee and the caramel. There is sugar in the caramel.”
Customer: “Okay, but what about the sugar?!”
Me: “Would you like us to add sugar for you and mix it in?”
This is not our policy, but this lady is freaking out, and my boss is frustrated. It’s taking way longer than it should, and we are not understanding her request.
Customer: “NO! I just want the cream and sugar!”
Customer: “Right. So we will mix in the caramel, and you can add cream and sugar at the end.”
Customer: “And what about the sugar?! What’s the point? I could’ve done this myself. I’m just so confused at this point. Just give me the coffee.”
I’m still trying, because this woman mentioned she lives across the street, and that usually means repeat customers.
Me: “I’m trying to understand what you’d like. We can mix in sugar for you, and the caramel is already mixed in.”
Customer: “I have no idea what’s going on. I’ll just take it.”
We have no idea what’s going on, either.
She finishes adding whatever she adds, and I find coffee all over our counter.
Boss: “Yeah, it was probably that crazy lady who has never seen a coffee shop in her life. I don’t need her to come back.”
