That Snow Mountain…

, , , , , , | Working | October 20, 2017

(My mother is an x-ray technician at a large hospital in Alabama, and it should be noted that she grew up in the Rocky Mountains of Nevada. One day, everyone starts rushing around frantically, and half the staff are heading home early. When she asks, she is told…)

Coworker #1: “I have to get up the mountain before the storm hits!”

Mom: “Mountain? What mountain? And what do you mean, ‘before the storm hits?’”

Coworker #1: “They just announced a snowstorm is going to hit Huntsville, starting in just a few hours. They’ve already cancelled schools and sent the kids home early. But a lot of us live on the other side of the mountain, so we need to get there before the storm hits, or we’ll never make it!”

Mom: “Again, what mountain? There are no mountains around here.”

(After a few more rounds of useless talk, and hearing the weather report for herself, she finally drags the coworker to a window.)

Mom: “What mountain?!”

Coworker #1: “Over there!”

Mom: *squints* “That’s not a mountain. That’s a hill. Maybe. More like a gentle rise.”

(Just then, another hospital employee comes up with a clipboard, looking rather harried.)

Nurse: “Okay, [Mom]… [Mom]…. Oh! Right. Your ride is [Coworker #2], and he’ll be there to pick you up at 5:30 tomorrow.”

Mom: “My ride? I drive myself, thanks. And my shift doesn’t start until 8:00, anyway.”

Nurse: “Oh, I know. But with all the snow, most people won’t be able to make it in. So, we’ve dropped to the bare essential staff, and everyone with four-wheel-drive is going around to pick up everybody else. You’re on [Coworker #2]’s route, and he’ll be there at 5:30.”

Mom: “You do realize I’m from Nevada, right? Rocky Mountains? Snow? My car has front-wheel drive. I’ll be here for my shift. You can take me off the list.”

Nurse: “But you need four-wheel-drive to drive in snow! What if you don’t make it? What if you crash? The ambulances won’t get to you in time!”

Mom: “We’re expecting ‘up to an inch.’ It’s not exactly a blizzard. I’ll be fine. Take my name off the list, because if someone comes pounding on my door at 5:30, my husband and I will not be pleased.”

(Mom left at her normal time and made it home, on the other side of the “mountain,” just fine. A little slow, due to traffic, but fine. The next morning, she likewise made it into work without incident, and was the only person who was well-rested, having slept her normal eight hours, instead of carpooling in hours early.)

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Breakfast In Cougartown

, , , , , | Working | October 20, 2017

(I am about six feet and seven inches tall, 17 years old, and a guy, while my mom is about five feet and five inches tall, and 42 years old. My face is almost identical to hers, so it’s obvious we are related. My mom and I are going out to eat breakfast. Everything is going well; our server is attentive and our food is perfect. When it comes time to pay, this happens:)

Server: *looks at me with the check* “I’m just going to give you the check, if that’s all right. You are in no rush! You two enjoy!”

(I take a peek at the check, and it’s around twenty five or so dollars, not bad for the size meal we had. We finish up our meal and our server checks up on us one last time before we go to the register.)

Server: *gestures to me* “He’s paying right?”

(My mom always insists on paying for the check so she just laughs.)

Mom: “Nope! Not a dime this time!”

Server: *turns back to me* “Some lousy boyfriend you are!”

(It now dawns on both of us what our server was thinking: that my mom, at 42, would date a guy as young as I am. My mom and I both rush to explain and we all share a laugh about it. Later, when we’ve paid.)

Me: “Did… did she call you a cougar?”

Mom: “I guess so! Man, I like ’em young, don’t I?”

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This Is Why You’re Pen-sive

, , | Right | October 20, 2017

(Where I work requires someone to sign a paper copy of a receipt when they do a return. A rather odd gentleman has just returned something, and I finish processing everything and hand him my pen to sign the slip.)

Customer: “Hmm, nice pen.”

Me: “Yeah, it writes nice; it’s one of my favourites.”

Customer: “Guess you’ll want it then.”

Me: “Uh… Yes. I’d like to keep my pen.” *holds my hand out for him to reluctantly hand it back*

Customer: *noticing another pen on my till that has the company logo on it* “What about that one?”

Me: “Um. Sure, I guess you can have that one this time.”

Customer: *snatches pen off the counter and stuffs it in his pocket* “Next time it’ll be that nice one.” *turns on his heel and walks out the door*

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Manufacturers’ Suggested Retail Conspiracy

, , , | Right | October 20, 2017

(I’m working at an appliance store and get this call:)

Customer: “Hey, do you carry the trim kit for these microwaves?”

Me: “Yes, sir, do you know which one you need?”

Customer: *gives the model number*

Me: “Yes, we have that one in stock for [price].”

Customer: “What?! That’s the price everyone is selling it at. It’s a conspiracy, I tell you!

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Paging Strange Requests

, , , , | Right | October 19, 2017

(I am an associate manager, and I have just answered a call. There is an elderly woman on the line.)

Me: “Good afternoon. Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: *raspy voice* “I understand your restaurant doesn’t have a paging service. I am looking to get in touch with my friend, [Friend]. She should be in the dining room with her son. She has grey hair and wears glasses.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the restaurant seats almost 300 people, and we are full and busy. I am unable to go and find your friend. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “No, I guess not.” *hangs up*

(About 30 minutes go by and another associate manager tells me about the strangest call.)

Coworker: “Yes, it was so strange. She wanted me to go out into the dining room and find some woman with glasses. I wasn’t sure what to do. So, I indulged her for a minute and put her on hold while I went to ‘look.’ I came back to the phone to tell her I couldn’t find her friend. Once I told her the news she became a bit upset and said, ‘Today is a very unlucky day for you. Upon connection to my friend I was going to give you $1,000.’ Then, she hung up. How strange.”

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