In high school, I knew an extremely outgoing girl. Everyone in my friend group knew her from somewhere; she lived down the street from my father, [Friend #1] and [Friend #2] had classes with her, [Friend #3] took dance lessons with her, and so on. None of us were particularly close with [Girl], but all of us knew her.

It’s not like this was a small-town phenomenon, either; I lived in a major city and not all of my friends attended the same school or lived in the same area. On more than one occasion, even years later, we’d somehow bump into people who would mention their friend [Girl], and it was ALWAYS the [Girl] we knew.

Several years after I’ve moved overseas, I run into another foreign woman who looks lost. I offer to help her find her way. It turns out that she’s from my home city, and I give her a few pointers for getting around.

Woman: “Thank you! I would’ve been wandering around forever on my own.”

Me: “No problem. Looks like the building you want is just a few blocks past the entrance to [Famous Landmark], and you can take this bus route to get there.”

Woman: “Oh, [Landmark]?” *Talking to herself* “[Girl] sent me an article about [Landmark]…”

I stop for a moment, thinking that it can’t be. There must be a hundred [Girl]s in my home city. But I have to ask.

Me: “[Girl]? You don’t happen to mean [Girl] [Last Name]?”

Woman: “Tall, blonde, really athletic, and outgoing?”

Me: “Has a sister named [Sister]?”

Woman: “You know her, too?!”

Me: “At this point, I’m convinced everyone in [Home City] knows her!”

I’m ordering inside. I can hear an employee talking to the drive-thru through an intercom.

Employee: “Hi, welcome to [Chain]. What can I get you today?”

Intercom: *Quacking noise*

Employee: “Can you repeat that?”

Intercom: *Quacking noise*

Employee: “Hey, [Boss], intercom’s busted again. It’s just making duck noises.”

Boss: “It was just working fine. Let me see what’s—”

He leans his head all the way out the window.

Boss: “Hey, you! Quit holding up the line and let that duck go!”

Two kids ran away laughing, one holding a quacking duck under her arm.

My local parcel dropoff point is within a vape store. It’s got dark vibes — think demonic theme name and aesthetics. I’m pretty into the alternative fashion scene — sort of gothic. I’m wearing a face mask that has a cute demon face on it with a pentagram and a black dress when I go in to return some parcels.

There’s another customer there who’s in normal clothes and he acknowledges me. He then double-takes and hurries through the rest of his transaction, leaving promptly. [Clerk #1] serving him goes to the back door and continues talking to him. [Clerk #2] — who has pentagram tattoos — comes out from the back.

Clerk #2: “Sorry about that.”

Me: “What even was that?”

Clerk #2: *Hesitates* “He doesn’t like dark stuff. He avoids me, too… like he thinks I’ll hex him.”

Me: “You have ‘Hail Satan’ on your shop wall and references to demons and such, and you literally have pentagrams on your bags, but I in my little black dress and demon pentagram mask am… what? Too witchy?”

Clerk #2: “Yeah. Basically. We’re both too witchy for him.”

Client: *Complaining.* “The press release you wrote didn’t tell enough of a story.”

Me: “It’s an announcement about your attendance at a tax conference.”

Our premium brand of ham is on sale this week. A lady wearing a large cross necklace approaches my counter.

Customer: “Can I have two-thirds of a pound of the [Premium Brand] ham, please?”

Me: “Two-thirds of [Premium Brand] ham? Coming right up.”

I slice the meat and put it on the scale. Much to my satisfaction, the quantity it displays is exactly .66 lbs and the price is $6.66. The customer, on the other hand, is staring horrified at it.

Customer: “Um… how many slices was that?

I put the meat in a bag and start to hand it to her.

Me: “Thirteen.”

Customer: “And… you’re handing it to me with your left hand?”

Me: “Is there a problem?”

She closes her eyes, raises her hand, and counts to three on her fingers, silently mouthing the numbers as she does so.

Me: “Ma’am? Is there a problem?”

Customer: “AAAAAHHHHH! AAAAHHHHH!”

Her eyes snapped open wide and she screamed at the top of her lungs. She literally ripped the cross necklace off her neck and waved it frantically at me, then turned and went barrelling out the front door of the store at full speed.